Page 23 of Spike

“Your mom doesn’tthink Lucifer has more important things to do like drumming up wars, andcausing famine, disease, and pestilence? Is she so bold to assume the dark lordhas the spare time to lay traps and wait for good, innocent, Christian youngwomen to fall into them?”

Trixie’s laughmade me feel better than I had since the first night I met her.

After catching herbreath, she said, “I have to ask you a question, but I don’t want you to takeit the wrong way.”

“I’m an openbook.”

“How is it that abiker who spent most of his youth incarcerated uses words like pestilence andquotes Jean-Paul Sartre?”

“Probably becauseIwasincarcerated for most of my youth,” I replied. “There’s not muchto do on the inside but read, play chess with criminals, or play checkers withnumbskulls, so I did a lot of reading.”

“I’m sorry, Spike,that sounds difficult.”

I smiled. “It’sokay. Would you like to have coffee and pie with me?”

Trixie’s dimpledcheeks flushed, and it took every ounce of my internal strength not to grabher, take her back into one of the empty darkened theaters, and fuck her untiltomorrow’s matinee.

“I’d love to,” shereplied.

** *

Spike

“I know Shari’sisn’t fancy, but they have killer pie and they’re open late,” I said as wesettled into our booth.

“Are you kidding?What’s not to love? Besides, I’m starving. That popcorn was all I’ve had sincebrunch with Gemma this morning.”

“Welcome toShari’s my name is Beth and I’ll be your server tonight.” Beth was a haggardsounding woman who looked to be firmly in the back half of a fifty-to-lifestretch.

“Well, howdy thereBeth,” I said, donning a thick but chipper southern drawl. “My name’s Spike,juss like it says on m’patch. An’ this here is m’new wife Trixie Lou.” Imotioned to my now blushing bride.

“Howdy,” Trixiesaid, like a true southern belle, completed by a demure, pageant wave and all.

“Can I get the twoof you anything to drink while you look over your menus?” Beth asked, unphasedby our southern charm.

Trixie motionedfor me to order first.

“Coffee for me,please, ma’am,” I said.

“Cream or sugarwith that?” she asked, without looking up from her notepad.

“Black as molassesif you please.”

Trixie nodded inapproval. “Mmmmm. But I’ll have Splenda and cream, please.”

“A pot of coffeecoming up,” Beth said before pointing to the menu. “Specials are on page twoand the pies are on the back. Let me know if you have any questions.”

As soon as Bethwas out of earshot, Trixie burst into laughter. “Oh my word, my face hurts sobad.”

“Nicely done,” Isaid. “It’s good to know you wouldn’t fold easily under questioning.”

She let out asnort. “You have no idea how wrong you are.”

“Sometimes youhave to spice up the simple moments in life, ya know?”

“Is that what thatwas all about?”

“Sure. Ordercoffee as a newly married couple from Texas or take out the trash as a secretagent who’s on a deep cover mission. You’re going to have to do a millionboring things before you die, right? Why not have a little fun while you’redoing them?”

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