Page 71 of Doozer

“And just because I didn’t hear what you said, doesn’t mean I don’t know you said it, woman,” Duke called out, taking his seat at the breakfast table.

I poured myself a second cup and joined Duke at the table.

“You ever branded a foal before, Doozer?”

“I’m not even sure what a foal is,” I replied.

“That’s a baby horse, son.”

“The only branding I’ve ever seen was…well, never mind,” I replied, flashing back to Clutch’s short-lived patch-out party.

“Well, you’re gonna learn a few things today. I’ve got a half dozen foals that are ready to be weaned from their mothers and moved out to pasture. Before I can do that, I’ve gotta get ’em branded and I can’t do it by myself. Chako, my lead ranch hand has the day off but now that you’re here I figured you could help me.”

“Whatever you need,” I replied, trying to hide the terror in my voice. Unlike Minus, who was as comfortable on a horse as he was a bike, I had zero experience with livestock and generally tended to stay away from anything with teeth larger than mine. Not to mention I was still pretty banged up from the bar fight.

“That’s the spirit,” Duke said, grinning wide through his whiskers.

Pearl arrived at the breakfast table with a stack of hot pancakes, homemade syrup and butter from their local farmers’ market that was almost better than sex. Conversation around the table was easy and the food was out of this world. It was one of the best breakfasts I’d ever had, but with each bite I found myself wishing Trouble was here with me.

We cleared the table and helped clean up before heading out to the section of the pasture where the foals and their mothers were kept. Duke drove us in what looked like a post-apocalyptic cross between a golf cart and a flatbed truck. It sported flood lights, a winch, all terrain tires, and was murdered out in matte black.

“I call her Maxine. As in Mad Maxine. She’s electric,” Duke said proudly as we climbed inside.

“Looks like a fun ride,” I said, noting the vehicle’s roll cage.

“I needed something sturdy to get around in, and I’m too damned old to ride my bike anymore so I had Chako build me this souped-up baby. I figured why not have a little fun while I’m doing my chores?”

No sooner had the words passed through Duke’s moustache, when he pressed the pedal to the metal and we went screaming down the dirt trail leading to the pasture.

“She’s got a lot of pickup,” I replied, and hung on for dear life.

Duke roared with laughter as we tore down the trail at breakneck speeds, slowing down only as we approached the herd.

“Don’t wanna scare our equine friends,” Duke said, rolling to a gentle stop near the pasture.

The ranch was even more spectacular than I had imagined. Sprawling green hills dotted with groves of mature trees stretched on as far as the eye could see in every direction. The air was crisp, and the morning sun painted the sky with a vibrant orange hue.

We climbed out of Maxine and Duke lead us to the pasture’s gate. About a dozen horses, stood together in a fenced in area, casually munching on grass, completely unphased by our presence.

“Is this all of your herd?”

Duke laughed. “No, these are just the mamas and their foals. The mature herd is in the north pasture and our personal horses are in the stables. I’ll take you up there later for an introduction.”

“Sounds…good,” I said.

“What’s the matter, son?” Duke asked, noticing my hesitation. “Y’aint afraid of horses are ya?”

“To tell you the truth, I haven’t been around them much. At all, really.”

“Don’t they have horses up there in Oregon?”

“I grew up in the suburbs, so the only horses I saw were at the Rose Parade or the fair.”

“Well, these here animals ain’t nothin’ to be afraid of, but they should always be treated with the respect and an understanding that they can kill you.”

“Nothing to be afraid of. Check.” I said, giving Duke a thumb’s up.

Duke chuckled. “What I mean is, these horses are broken and used to people, but there are rules to follow, and as long as you do, you and the horses will be safe.”

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