Page 60 of Doozer

“I’m having a hard time letting go. Specifically, my need for you to need me… more than Taxi. I want to be the one to have your back. The one you need above all else, and the one who will protect you in any situation. But that’s unrealistic. You have to trust your team, or it won’t work, and I have to let you go enough not to interfere.” He met my eyes. “Bottom line, I’m scared to death I’m gonna lose you. You’re growing and learning at a breakneck pace, and I’m pretty sure you’re gonna figure out just how much of a fuckin’ loser I am.”

“Hey, that’s my man you’re talking about,” I growled.

He smiled slightly. “It’s how I feel.”

I squared my shoulders and nodded. “Anything else?”

“I think that pretty much covers it.”

“Okay.” I took his hand and ran my finger over his palm. “I love you. Not the kind of love that’s gonna end tomorrow. The kind that lasts forever and since I know you’re well aware I don’t need a knight to slay my dragons for me, you protecting me doesn’t factor into this. At least, within the little picture. In the bigger picture, obviously, I will expect you to always have my back and always protect me in all things because you’re my man, and you’re all fucking man which is one of the reasons I love you. And yes, I’m growing and learning, but honey, so are you. This conversation is evidence of that. You’re saying out loud that you recognize you need to let me go and that’s kind of remarkable, don’t you think?”

“Well, I’m pretty fuckin’ awesome, so…”

“You are.” I laughed. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to finish my training, then regardless of if Taxi decides he wants to send me to Timbuktu, you’re part of that package. He knows that. I’ve been clear about that, so it’s a non-issue. The only reason it would be an issue is if you didn’t want to come with me. And then, I’ll be the one needing to figure out how to let you go.” I let out a snort. “Who am I kidding? I’m never letting you go, so suck it up, buttercup, we’re in this for the long haul.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, either.”

“Good. Tell you what,” I said. “The team is getting together for drinks tomorrow night at the Windmill. Why don’t you come with me and you can meet everyone? Maybe if you meet the people who are gonna have my back, you’ll feel a little better.”

“Is Taxi gonna be there?”

“He said he might stop by briefly,” I replied.

“Howbriefly?”

I smacked Doozer’s chest. “He saved your life, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. Why does everyone keep reminding me of that?”

“Because I, for one, am extremely grateful that he did.”

He leaned forward and kissed me, and I cupped his face. “Feel like getting me dirty in the shower before getting me clean?”

“Hell yeah.”

I grinned. “Race ya.”

After our shower, I headed back to the barracks and slept better than I had in days.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Doozer

WE PULLED UP to the Windmill Bar and Grill just before ten o’ clock and the place was packed. The spot looked like any average beer and wings joint you’d see in any college town, which was essentially what Quantico was. Except, instead of being populated by fresh-faced engineering and medical students, it was filled with fine young men and women learning new and better ways to kill people with their bare hands. Quantico itself is the size of a postage stamp, but houses high level training facilities for the Marines, the Navy, the DEA, and of course the FBI.

We got off the rental bike and Trouble removed her helmet, her pixie-rocker hair, sticking out in every direction. However, with a shake of her head, and a quick comb through with her fingers her hair was once again picture perfect. It was like a magic trick.

“That why you keep your hair short?” I asked. “To avoid ‘helmet head’?”

“No,” Trouble replied. “For the longest time, my favorite movie to check out from the base library was G.I. Jane.”

“With Demi Moore,” I said.

Trouble’s face lit up. “You’ve seen it?”

“Of course, I have. She’s a total badass in that movie.”

“Right?” Trouble asked, excitedly. “Well, after seeing that movie I became kind of obsessed with Demi Moore.A lotobsessed. Which led me to my all-time favorite movie, Ghost.”

---