Page 2 of Doozer

“I know a lot of dickheads, and you don’t look like any of them. Trust me,” I said. “You look great. Very…grown up.”

“You mean, old.”

“I didn’t say that, and you don’t.”

“Well,oneof us has to dress like an adult,” Carmen said with a smirk.

“You’re starting to sound like Pop. Where is he?” I asked.

“Sitting over there with Mama, Gia, and Gaga,” she said, motioning to the other side of the dance floor.

“Gaga’s here too?” I asked, surprised by my very elderly grandmother’s presence.

“Of course. It’s Pop’s big night,” Carmen replied.

“She’s a hundred years old. This music must be driving her fucking crazy.”

“She’s ninety-two and without her hearing aids in, she can’t hear anything.”

“Lucky bitch,” I said.

“Marco!” Carmen shouted, punching my arm. “Don’t call our grandmother a bitch.”

“I just meant she doesn’t have to listen to this shitty dance music all night,” I said.

“I’d be more worried about listening to the shit our Pop is gonna give you about how you’re dressed.”

“Did he see me come in?”

“Why do you think I’m here?” She smiled.

“What? He can’t come talk to me himself. He has to send you, now,” I said. “Figures.”

“It’s not like that,” Carmen said. “I said I’d come get you and bring you back to the family table.”

“You sure there’s room for me?” I asked.

“Come on, Marco. Don’t be like that,” she said.

“Be like what, Carm? He fucking hates me.”

“Pop doesn’thateyou.”

“Oh, yeah? Let me ask you something. Were you with him when I walked in?”

My sister nodded.

“When Pop saw me, did he say anything?”

“I don’t know, maybe. It’s loud in here,” she replied, unconvincingly.

“So, he didn’t make some smart-ass remark the second he laid eyes on me?”

“I don’t know,” Carmen said, unable to hide her nervous smile.

“You know, for a lawyer, you’re a shitty liar,” I said.

“Only because it’s you, Marco. I’ve never been able to lie to you. Even when we were kids.”

---