Page 66 of Doozer

“Duke keeps a small stable of horses, but at his age, it’s getting tougher for him to put in a full day’s work.”

“Doesn’t the ranch have employees?”

Carson grinned. “Sure, but Duke is what you’d call a hands-on kind of guy.”

We reached the end of the long gravel driveway, parked, and got out of the car. An elderly couple sat together on the front porch of the house in matching rocking chairs.

“I’m surprised you remembered how to get to the ranch, it’s been so goddamned long since you’ve been here,” the old man called out as he rose.

“Hello, Duke. It’s nice to see you too,” Carson said, in a warm, but business-like tone.

“Did you have to use your GPS to find us?” Duke asked as he helped Pearl to her feet.

“Oh, Duke. You leave this nice young man alone,” Pearl ordered, greeting Carson with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Hello, Pearl. It’sgenuinelynice to seeyou,” Carson said.

“See, that?” Duke shouted. “Goddamned lawyers. Always talking out of both sides of their mouths.”

“I always thought that was a silly expression,” Pearl said. “Is it better for someone to speak only out of one side of their mouth? Would you really trust a person who spoke in such a way?”

“One side, both sides, it don’t rightly matter. Bird here is a lawyer, which automatically makes him an asshole and a liar.”

“Duke,” Pearl admonished.

“Granted, he’s not as big of an asshole as his daddy, and nowhere near the liar his granddaddy was, but he’s a lawyer and a Bird, so what the hell can he do?”

“I’ll remember this chat fondly while sending you my billable hours this month,” Carson said with a smile.

“I bet you will,” Duke said. His tone dripped with annoyance, but it was obvious Duke liked Carson Bird. “Well. You’re here, so you may as well come in for a drink,” Duke said before pointing at me. “Who’s this mopey looking sack of bruises you brought with you?”

“This is Doozer.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,” I said, shaking his hand.

“This is the queen of this here rodeo, Pearl,” Duke said, sweetly.

I nodded politely to Pearl. “Ma’am.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Doozer,” Pearl replied. “Welcome to the Double H and please forgive my husband’s foolish rants. He is a good man, but he’s full of three kinds of bologna.”

“Doozer, huh? More like Doozy if you ask me,” he said, examining my bruises. “Looks like someone had themselves a square dance on your face, son.”

“Doozer ran into a little trouble with some local boys in Quantico,” Carson said.

“I thought Virginia was for lovers,” Duke said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, well I guess these guys didn’t get that message.”

“What about you?” Duke asked.

“Whataboutme?”

“Did you get the message?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I replied.

Duke put a hand on my shoulder and smiled. “Son, every ass-whoopin’ is life’s way of trying to deliver a message to you.”

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