Page 28 of Sweet Pea

“On all fours, with a rainbow, ponytail dildo in her ass?”

“A butt plug actually, but we didn’t know that at the time.”

“We?” Clutch asked excitedly.

“Oh yeah. Devlin was standing right there next to me the entire time.”

“What the fuck kind of conversation did I just walk in on?” I asked, stopping dead in my tracks.

“Your brother was just telling me about a reader that managed to sneak into his hotel room at the last signing event he attended,” Clutch said. “Apparently, she wanted to play pony with Mr. Morningwood here. Unfortunately, the wife was with him.”

“Wrong,” Ropes said. “This little filly wanted to play with both Mr. and Mrs. Morningwood.”

“Oh, shit!” Clutch shouted. “So was the answer yea or neigh?”

“I think you can imagine what Devlin’s response was to this young woman’s presence.”

Clutch silently sipped his coffee.

“I will say, it was highly entertaining watching Devlin attempt to wrestle this completely lubed up chick out the door,” Ropes laughed. “That’s actually when we found out her tail was attached to a toy. Devlin had almost shoved her through the doorway when it sort of... popped out.”

“Don’t you mean pooped out?” Clutch asked, much to his own amusement.

“This sort of shit happen to you all the time?” I asked.

“I’ve seen things at signings that make our club parties look like Boy Scout meetings,” he replied.

I poured myself a large glass of what my club brothers referred to as “sludge” and made my way to the Sanctuary’s chapel. Sludge was a homemade juice made from fruits and vegetables, mixed with protein powder and fish oils. It looked, smelled, and tasted horrendous, but gave me all the nutrients I needed, and best of all, remained untouched in the refrigerator by my brothers.

“Thanks again to everyone for your help with this year’s toy drive,” Minus said, motioning to our guests from the Bikers for Kids. “Cowboy had great things to say about the trip. I’m grateful for the friendship between our two clubs, and to have helped out just a little this holiday season.”

“The Saints are welcome to ride with us anytime,” Cowboy replied.

“Alright then,” Minus said, turning his attention back to us. “Now that Christmas is over and the fat man has flown back to the elf sweatshop, let’s get down to business.”

Minus spent the next few minutes going over a few pieces of general club business before turning to the topic on everyone’s mind.

“We still haven’t heard a word from the Spiders. If they’ve backed down, they haven’t made it known, but they also haven’t retaliated either.”

“You think Wolf is still gonna make a play against us after the other night?” I asked.

“I’m staying hopeful,” Minus replied.

“You don’t sound convinced,” Ropes said.

“You know Wolf,” he countered. “He ever come across as the backin’ down type to you?”

“No, but do you really think he wants to go to war? Especially with all the other area clubs standing with us?” My brother countered.

“I think if he had it his way, Wolf would have sounded the battle cry the night we showed up at their clubhouse, but Char is still calling the shots, and even Wolf isn’t dumb enough to disobey him.”

“You think Char is more afraid of us than Wolf is?”

“I don’t think Char is afraid of anything. I just know he’s smarter than Wolf.”

“How’s that?” I asked.

“When Char went to prison, he had to choose an acting president to run things on the outside. He needed someone that was ambitious and ruthless but could be controlled, and Wolf fit the bill perfectly in every way but one.”

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