“Oh, love...” She reaches for me, but I step back, the endearment hitting me like a physical blow. My skin feels too tight, too raw, like I've been stripped bare.
“Don't.” My voice breaks on the word, and I hate how vulnerable I sound. “Don't look at me like that. Like you can fix this. Like love and Christmas magic can somehow make up for ten years of guilt. You can't bring them back. You can't make it right.”
“I'm not trying to fix anything.” She steps closer, undaunted by my retreat. “I'm trying to love you. All of you—including the parts that have broken.”
Her words keep coming, hit after hit, and I have to shake my head to stop them from rocking me off balance. “You can't love me. You don't even know me. You don't know how many Christmas dinners I missed because I was 'too busy.' How many calls I ignored because my research was 'more important.' You don't know what it's like to live knowing that if I'd just gone home that one time...” My voice cracks. “If I'd just put family first for once...”
“I know enough.” Another step closer, and I have to root myself to the floor to stop myself from running out of the room to retreat. “I know you're kind, even when you pretend not to be. I know you're passionate about your plants because they're your way of making the world better. And I know you care about your family because you’re still here. I know you're hurting, but you're also healing.” Her hands come up to frame my face, thumbs brushing away tears I hadn't realized were falling. “And I know that I've never felt this way about anyone before.”
“Noelle...”
“I love you, Sawyer Hawkins. Grumpy mountain man, rare plant cultivator, Christmas Grinch and all. And I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to push me away.”
I close my eyes, overwhelmed by the emotion threatening to choke me. “You'll leave. You’ll realize I’m no good for you, and you’ll go. Everyone does.”
“No.” She kisses me softly, just a brush of lips. “I won't. Your pain doesn't scare me. Your past doesn't change how I feel. And your future? I want to be part of it, if you'll let me.”
“You have a life in the city.”
“I have a job in the city. My life?” She kisses me again. “My life is wherever I choose to make it. And I choose here. Withyou. In this cabin with your precious orchids and my Christmas lights. In this place where we found each other.”
“You can't just?—”
“Watch me.” Her eyes blaze. “Watch me love you until you believe you deserve it. Watch me show up every day until you trust that I'm not leaving. Watch me help you build new Christmas memories that don't hurt quite so much.”
And then she's up on the tips of her toes, kissing me properly, and I'm lost. My towel hits the floor as I pull her against me, groaning when I realize she's naked under my shirt. Every brush of her skin against mine feels like forgiveness, like hope, like a future I never thought I'd have.
“Stay,” I breathe against her mouth, finally letting myself want it. Want her. Want everything she's offering. “Stay with me.”
She smiles, and it's like watching the sun rise. “Was that so hard?”
“Impossible woman.”
“Yourimpossible woman.”
“Mine,” I murmur against her lips, the word feeling right for the first time in forever. “My impossible, Christmas-loving, fence-destroying woman.”
She laughs softly, fingers tracing patterns on my chest. “And my grumpy, plant-obsessed, secretly tender-hearted mountain man.”
I lift her into my arms, carrying her back to the bed, laying her down and covering her body with mine. She parts her legs, welcoming me into the cradle of her hips as I settle between her thighs. The shirt has ridden up, exposing the soft skin of her belly, and I can't resist pressing kisses there, reveling in her gasp as my beard tickles her sensitive flesh.
“Sawyer...” She threads her fingers through my hair, tugging gently until I look up at her. Her brown eyes are warm andbright, filled with so much affection it steals my breath. “Make love to me.”
I groan, surging up to capture her mouth in a long, deep kiss. She moans against me, wrapping her legs around my hips to pull me closer. I can feel the heat of her, and it makes me wild. I need to be inside her, need to lose myself in her warmth and light and the unwavering love shining from her eyes.
“I don't deserve you,” I murmur against her lips, even as my hips press forward, seeking her softness.
“You do,” she insists, arching up to meet me. “You deserve love, Sawyer. You deserve happiness. Let me give that to you.”
Her words undo me completely. With a reverent whisper of her name, I push inside her welcoming heat, groaning at the exquisite feel of her body accepting mine. Noelle cries out, fingernails digging into my shoulders as I fill her completely, our bodies joining as one. I still for a moment, overwhelmed by the intensity of being so intimately connected with her, not just physically but emotionally. She surrounds me, warm and tight and perfect, her eyes locked on mine as she cradles me between her thighs.
“I love you,” she whispers, the words wrapping around my heart and squeezing. “I love you so much.”
“Noelle...” Her name is a prayer on my lips as I start to move, long deep strokes that make her gasp and clutch me tighter. “My Noelle.”
We find a rhythm together, push and pull, give and take. Each thrust is an affirmation, a promise. I pour every ounce of feeling into the way I move within her, over her, showing her with my body what I still struggle to express in words.
Noelle meets me stroke for stroke, her hips rising to take me deeper. Soft moans spill from her lips, interspersed with breathless declarations of love that make my soul sing. I've never felt so connected to another person, so completely consumed bythe need to cherish and protect. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered endearment feels like a sacred vow. Like we're forging something unbreakable in the heat of our passion.