Page 64 of All Our Secrets

It was terrifying how quickly my body went ramrod straight. Worse, how fast my heart twisted painfully inside my chest. And I was beginning to suspect Sarah knew more than I wanted her to. At some point, I’d given myself away, and the strange thing was that I’d never once said anything to suggest my attraction to Silas. Had I?

And the longer I went without saying anything, the more she’d suspect, I’m sure. But my brain had short-circuited.

“Oh?” I finally said.

“Yeah,” Sarah responded. “So you want to come, right?”

My heart raced, and bile rose in my throat. But the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “When are you all going again?”

“The day after tomorrow.”

“The day after tomorrow?”

T.J. jumped, but then I did too when my chips and salsa slid off the coffee table. I let out a squeak.

Literally, the food slid. Right. Off.

“Everything okay?”

“Are you kidding me?” I groaned. “Yeah. I have a mess to clean up is all.”

Internally, I scratched my head. Had I kicked the table?

“So should I let King know you’re riding with him?”

“Sure, but I’ll text him… tomorrow,” I froze as the last word left my mouth. I’d walked right into the trap Sarah had set. She hadn’t offered me a seat in her car again. She’d gone straight to assuming I’d want a ride from Silas.

Well. I sniffed. She wasn’t wrong, but this was a fuck-you to the progress I’d made at avoiding him all week. All because Becky and Silas were going to be in Tennessee together. I’d never been a territorial girlfriend—not that Silas was my boyfriend anyway. And I’d never gotten upset because of other women. If someone could steal my man, he was never mine to begin with. But something about Silas King drove me insane. He wasn’t even mine, but the idea of his ex, someone who’d already touched him, trying to be touched by himagain, set my blood to boiling.

I didn’t like the ickiness inside me. The pettiness. But beneath that was a strong hurt. A hurt buried so deep that if it ever surfaced, my past would ruin what present I had.

I had no right to intervene. If I cockblocked his ex, how would that be different from how he’d been trying to get me to move out of my own home?

Here I was, about to slap Silas with the widow-needs-help card. A card I hated when I thought he was only doing it out of obligation to Theodore.

I’d cry about my choices that night before I fell asleep. And guilt would likely surface stronger than jealousy when my head cleared, but right then… I wanted to know why Silas was going on vacation. Heneverwent, and Becky hadn’t ever gone either. And why did that make my insides go haywire?

∞∞∞

I woke gasping. The night was a giant blanket of darkness staring back at me as I looked through my window. It was so dark I couldn’t see the trees. I took a deep breath, rubbing my eyes. I couldn’t remember my dream, but clearly it had upset me. The hairs on my arms stood on end like something was coming. Bad or good, I didn’t know.

I’d slept in my bed since Silas moved my room around for me. A part of me wondered what he would have done if he caught me in that rocking chair again. He’d be so pissed. A smile stretched across my lips as the unsettled feeling left my body.

Kicking off the blanket, I left the warmth to check on my son, who was squirming in his crib. I recognized those little grunts. He’d want a bottle any second.

I wasn’t halfway down the steps with T.J. in my arms when I heard a door slam shut. My front door was straight in front of me, still closed. I stared at the thing as if it were the plague. It sounded like a vehicle.

With my heart feeling like it was lodged in my throat, I tiptoed to the living room, pulled the blinds to the side, and peered out. My jaw dropped, and I let go of the blinds for a second to process what I was seeing. When I looked again, Silas’s truck was still in the driveway.

“What in the world?” I muttered.

His headlights were off, but his overhead light was on. Only I couldn’t see him inside.

Really, though. What in the world was he doing here?

Puffing out my cheeks, I walked to the front door and flicked on the porch light. I slipped on a pair of flip-flops and stepped out into the warm summer night.

“Silas?” I called, marching up to his truck. It was empty.