Page 48 of All Our Secrets

“Don’t start—”

“No, listen to me. Thank you for staying with me after the break-in, for helping me do what I couldn’t with my mom, and all the little things you’ve done for me… I can’t ever repay you. I give you a hard time, but I appreciate what you’ve done for Theodore. I’m ready for life to go back to normal, though, aren’t you?”

“Theodore has nothing to do with—”

“Silas.” I interrupted. “Please. I need control over my life again. I can’t depend on you anymore.”

His shoulders tensed. “It’s not that simple. I’m never going to stop looking after you.”

Warmth spread through me.

And the idiot kept on, “I’m always one call away. I’m always going to be here.”

Before I could protest, he left me alone in his office.

Chapter Twenty:

do you need me?

Peyton

The doctor stepped inside the room after I finished putting on my clothes. “The results for your pap will be ready in a couple of weeks.”

Thank God I was finished with my six-week checkup. You’d think after being flopped on the table, stripped down to a gown, and cut open with several people in the room, I’d be used to doctors seeing me naked. I wasn’t.

My doctor glanced over my chart. “As for birth control, would you prefer the same as what you were using before your pregnancy?”

What reason did I have for birth control? I was a widow with no intentions of dating.

Then I remembered the night Silas rearranged my bedroom. Or more specifically, the bulge and strain of his biceps as he dragged furniture around. The flex of his muscles and the veins on his hands—I froze, heart roaring in my ears. Why did I keep doing that? I hadn’t seen him in weeks. Other than his daily text asking if I needed him for anything—which gave my body more cues to go berserk—he had listened. Listened being the key word. He most certainly didn’t agree with me about me not needing him around.

I’d had no more incidences with the intruder and had no problem carrying my groceries or T.J. I was fine without Silas King.

My skin felt warm when I answered, “I’m not in any sort of relationship…”

“Even so, it won’t hurt to go ahead and start them up again. Unless… you want another baby soon?” The doctor smirked.

I laughed. “There’ll be none of that, but go ahead and send it to my pharmacy anyway.”

“One day, you might, Peyton. It doesn’t have to be now or next year, but it never hurts to be prepared for the unexpected.”

I had nothing to say. Faye had been my doctor since I moved to town years ago. She was well aware I was a widow.

She bent over T.J.’s car seat. “He’s such a good baby.”

“He is,” I agreed.

“You’re still breastfeeding?”

“I’m actually slowly transitioning him to formula,” I admitted. The sting at my chest wasn’t as sharp that time. I’d come to terms with my decision.

She squeezed my shoulder gently. “As long as he’s eating and healthy, mama.”

My shoulders sagged. Faye had no idea how badly I needed to hear those words.

That night, I found myself in the rocking chair again. I glanced over at the nightstand where the birth control pills rested. Acid burned my throat, and tears blurred my vision.

I shouldn’t take them. I had no reason for them. But I swallowed the pill down anyway.

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