Page 38 of All Our Secrets

The first day was uneventful, but the next morning, Mom barged into my room while I was nursing T.J.

“I really wish you’d stop breastfeeding.”

I flinched at her words.

“I had no choice with you, but I don’t want you to ruin your breasts like I did.”

“I wanted to breastfeed.” I smiled down at T.J., determined not to let her words get to me. I was grateful my body was giving me the chance to provide for the life I created, even if I was failing at it. The doctor assured me everything was fine. Frequent feedings were normal, and my milk supply was plentiful. All I could hope for was that my boy gained some weight by our next visit. The issue was with latching. I fed him more by bottle now because of it. If I decided to switch him to formula, it wouldn’t be because I let my mother bully me into it. It would be for my own mental health if he still wasn’t gaining weight by our next doctor’s appointment. Until then, I wanted totry.

“Are we still going to that BBQ restaurant you’re always raving about?” Mom asked.

“Sure. I need to get myself and T.J. ready first.”

She sighed. “I can’t believe you named him after Theodore. The poor boy will never get called by his first name because it’s his father’s.”

Anger seeped up my throat and spilled out. “Yes, he will. One day, he’ll have an entire group of friends like his father did, who will call him Theo or Theodore—whatever he wants to go by. But to me, he’s going to be T.J. His father’s little junior.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I was thinking out loud.”

“I need to shower,” I said briskly as I covered myself after T.J. was finished.

“You make me sad.” She shook her head as she spoke. “When I see you now, it’s like looking at the girl I was at your age. Always trying your hardest, all the friends in the world, but at the drop of a hat, one word, your feelings are hurt.”

“If I’m upset, it’s usually for a good reason,” I informed her.

When her shoulders raised and she took a deep breath, my stomach cramped. “My choices never had anything to do with you, Peyton.”

“Not today, Mom.” I stood, carrying Junior to his crib.

“I’m clean.”

“That’s good.” I sniffed.

“You don’t believe me.”

“It’s not the first time you’ve said it.”

“All I need is some help getting William and me a place.”

And there it was. The reason she was there. Money. Always money.

I walked toward the door, gesturing for her to leave. “You can use the guest bathroom to get ready.”

∞∞∞

I was slipping on my bra when the doorknob jiggled, then creaked. By the time I glanced over, William stood in the doorway. Covering my chest, I screamed, “What are you doing?”

But he just stood therestaring, an unreadable expression on his face. He didn’t apologize or turn his head or back away. Instead, he silently kept his focus on me.

“Shut the door!” I yelled.

Something impossible happened then. The door slammed shut, but neither of us touched it. I froze, heart pounding as I eyed it.What?

My pulse roared in my ears as I gawked, then shook my head. How it had happened didn’t matter. All that did was why William had done it.

“Oh,” William murmured through the wood separating us. His response was sudden, surprised, yet way too late. “I thought this was the bathroom.”

I gave the door an are-you-freaking-serious look. His footfalls retreated down the hall, but my stomach still felt uneasy.

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