Page 102 of All Our Secrets

There was one truth I did know. Despite the sudden change in Silas’s mood earlier, he’d still sought me out first when he arrived.

Butterflies danced across my skin, reminding me of how much I loved his attention. Why couldn’t my thoughts and actions ever align? I couldn’t keep putting Silas in this confusing loop while I sorted through the mess in my mind.

But then I thought about the possibility of a day when he stopped seeking me out in a room…When he finally gave up on me. When he married someone who didn’t push him away. Because despite what he and many others assumed, Silas King was so loveable. The grumpiness made him all the more appealing. Eventually, others would see him the way I did. The mere idea made my eyes water.

Silas’s mouth flattened, and he set the boxes down before walking toward me. When he scooted the dining chair around and dropped to his knees before me, the tickling sensation in my throat grew worse.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He searched my face.

How could I tell him I wanted to burst into tears over the future? Someone else would get his attention. Another woman would discover his touch. His eyes would stop tracking me because they’d be looking at her. My stomach and chest cramped.God… I couldn’t bear it. I should have never taken my piece of him. There wasn’t a chance of taking a part of Silas King without wanting all of him.

I scrambled for an answer.

“The kids were good today,” I blurted, studying the dark mocha of his stare.

“Ha. It always takes me a minute to remember you’re talking about your students when you say that, Peyton,” Devin piped in.

I laughed but never looked away from Silas, who continued to study me with a tight expression.

“How was your day?” I asked.

“Better now.” Silas squeezed my thigh, his fingers digging into the soft flesh. The touch was electric, reminding me of the things he wanted from me,withme.

That was the problem. I’d been playing this game with Silas, even when I shouldn’t have been. Like spinning on a merry-go-round, but I couldn’t jump off. Long before we’d spoken to each other, I sensed his presence a hundred times overeveryoneelse. Even when the grump never said a word to me.

“Oh get a room.” Devin opened the top pizza box.

“Devin,” Sarah hissed, then gave me an apologetic smile.

Silas turned his head toward Devin, a vein in his neck jumping out.

Devin huffed. “What? It’s just me and Sarah.”

A weightless feeling hit my chest. Being seen with Silas didn’t make me feel embarrassed or guilty. Fighting to feel the guilt, fighting what I wanted… Those things were exhausting. Accepting my heart’s wants without resisting was easy. Far easier than it should have been.

“I’m hungry,” I blurted.

Silas whipped his head back toward me. “Banana peppers and bacon?”

Sweet Lord. This man even knew my favorite toppings on a pizza. “Yes. And ranch, please.”

His lips curled upward as he stood to grab my plate.

What was I doing? I didn’t know anymore.

∞∞∞

Holding the Wii controller, I made circular motions with my wrists while sneaking glances at Silas beside me. How the hell was he beating me?

“Stop doing that! You’re doing it wrong,” I yelled to distract him.

He chuckled. “You’ve always been such a sore loser.”

When his little character rowed his boat across the finish line, Sarah and I groaned. We were playing guys versus girls, taking turns with the mini challenges on the game since they only had two controllers. It was still fun, and Silas and I were tied against one another.

“How would you know whether I’m a sore loser?” I handed the controller to Sarah. Bunching my hair into a ball and tying it atop my head, I side-eyed Silas when he didn’t respond. His silence was curious, but instead of broaching the subject, I said, “You’re better than I expected you to be.”

He homed in on the strip of skin exposed as my shirt rose while I fixed my hair, sending a shot of lust straight to my clit.

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