Page 18 of All Our Secrets

“It doesn’t work that way.”

“Peyton.”

“Silas,” I mimicked, and his left eye twitched. Good. I was getting on his nerves now too. “T.J. doesn’t seem to be getting full, and he’s not latching on to my nipples that well. There. Happy?”

Silas’s nose crinkled as he pointed toward the bottle. “He seems to be doing fine now. Why are you getting upset?”

I shook my head. “You won’t understand.”

I wanted that bonding moment with my son. Instead, I was failing him. I expected babies to eat a lot, but something in my gut said that he wasn’t getting full. It had been less than a week, and I already felt like my body was inadequate. I didn’t miss any meals because I knew he needed nutrients, and yet—

“Hey.” The lines around Silas’s eyes were less pronounced, soft even. A rare sight that surprised me.

I shook my head quickly. “Don’t.Any other day, I could go toe to toe with your verbal sparring, but not right now.”

“As long as he’s drinking the boob milk, does it matter one way or—Jesus Christ.”

I jumped when Silas did, then watched him glare into the dining area.

“Don’t appear out of—” He stopped abruptly and glanced at me.

I frowned, looking around. “What scared you?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

“Don’t appear…” I raised a brow. “What were you saying?”

“I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember?” Placing the empty bottle on the counter, I lifted T.J. to my shoulder and patted his back until he burped.

Every few seconds, Silas tensed, scowling oddly in one direction.

“Areyouokay?”

“I’m staying in the spare bedroom tonight,” Silas said abruptly.

“Huh?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Something’s not right.”

“Look—”

“I’ll be back. Going to grab a bag from the house.” He turned.

“Silas, you can’t stay here.”

He stopped and side-eyed me up and down. “Why not?”

“Because.” My cheeks grew hot. Really?

Silas was a guy, and I was a woman. “My in-laws live next door.” It felt weird as soon as the words left my mouth. I hadn’t felt awkward around Silas in years. Not since I first met him, when my mind wanted to believe he wasmygaming King. Back then, I had really looked at Silas, and there was alotto look at. Theodore might have been taller than him by an inch or two, but Silas had always been thebigger,more imposing one. The scarred one.

They reminded me of the sun and the moon. One soft and warm, the other cold. I didn’t know why, but every so often, over the years, I’d compare them. It was a weird thing—a secret, really, that I kept to myself. It had to be, because I never could understand how the two of them were friends.Had to be.

But I didn’t want the grump in my home or in my life any more than necessary. Silas King got on my nerves too damn much.

He skimmed over the dining room once more before saying, “I’ll tell Gerald.”

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