Page 55 of Soul Food

“No, that’s not what I want.” I bet I was giving him whiplash with my moods, but he entered my life when I needed to spiral out of control and I chose him as a target. Dismissing my glass, I grabbed the bottle of wine and ventured into the living room. His chair scraped the hardwood floor as I plopped down on the sofa and guzzled a good portion of the wine.

I flinched when he came up behind the sofa and pressed the back of his hand against my forehead. “You’re making yourself sick.”

“How does one make themselves sick?” I wondered aloud.

“From worrying. From sadness. From being afraid. Pick one.”

“Oh,” I whispered, leaning into his touch. He kept touching me when he said he wouldn’t and when he shouldn’t. “You’re touching me,” I said while closing my eyes. He said nothing. “You said you wouldn’t touch me.”

“I remember.”

“Please stop.”

“I will.” Only he didn’t and alcohol made me weak. I reached for his hand. Tugging on his fingers, I kissed them like he was some sort of jewel I’d found. But this man wasn’t a gem. He was just a surly individual who called to my soul and made me wish I could wear him down and turn him inside out, but I was probably going to get him killed instead.

Feeling that fear stung my eyes, I let go of his hand and whispered, “You should go.”

He listened.

______

AMIT

Her exhausted emotions left a bad taste in my mouth as I left her home. I didn’t use my driver. I shifted into my reaping form and ported to my home where Lars waited for me. He’d stay with Ruth in my absence.

I didn’t like her pain or her sadness. I didn’t like the highs and lows her soul took throughout the day. I especially didn’t like that I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her, or the fact her turmoil was because of me. And I hated that I didn’t hate her attraction to me. There wasn’t a part of her I disliked, and that was the fucking problem.

And that confused and aggravated me. I didn’t know if I should be annoyed with myself or her. I knew too much about my soul food. I wasn’t one to make mistakes, but even I could admit that I fucked up.

Ruth’s soul was mine. That was set in stone.

It didn’t matter that I had to convince myself of that fact a hundred times a day. I’d devour her soul for it’s all I’ve thought of for the last decade.

I am in control.

I am in control.

And I was.

That’s exactly why I would make her happy. Not because her hurt bothered me but because it was beneficial to me if her soul was vibrant.

She wanted lust? I could give her that even if I had to give in to something I normally wouldn’t do.

“Leave, but don’t go to Ruth just yet either.” I said to Lars as I rounded the corner of the kitchen and shifted back into my human form.

“Sire…?”

“Go visit the Underworld. I’m giving you a chance to have some fun. Take it.”

He limped around. “Oh, you’re going to video chat with Ruth again?” I didn’t like the happy rise in his tone. “You could have just said so.”

“Leave before I lose my patience.”

Once he was gone, I pulled out my phone. I didn’t stop and think that she might question how I arrived home so quickly. Luckily, she’d been drinking so hopefully she wouldn’t pay attention to the time or the details. When her face appeared on the screen, I had no regret for what I was about to do.

I still thought I was in control.

Chapter Fifteen

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