Page 40 of Soul Food

My nipples pebbled against my bra. This was the most I think I’d ever heard him talk. I enjoyed the sound of his rough voice.

“You’re breathing heavy.”

I hadn’t noticed until he pointed it out but I was breathing heavy. I saw the rise and fall of my chest, then glanced into the screen and looked at his chest. “Are you going to show me your face?”

“This is about you, not me,” he told me. “Go on.” He leaned back against what looked like a couch.

His lack of involvement should have been a turnoff, but my body was a volcano at this point. I couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was because I hadn’t been sexually involved with anyone since high school, or maybe it was Amit that made me burn.

I shifted on the sofa and brought the camera briefly up to my face before letting it linger back to my chest. Slipping my fingers beneath the straps, I let them slide down my arm. Not removing it completely, I repeated the motion on the other one until the straps hung around my elbows. Pulling my shirt and bra down to my stomach, I gave Amit a full view of my breasts and hardened nipples. More than anything, I wish I could see his face as he took in every inch of me.

I palmed one breast, squeezed, and released it before pinching my nipple. Groaning, I slid down on the cushions. The camera bounced around as I moved. It was quiet except for my own erratic breathing. Amit was deathly still on the screen. “Can I see your face?” I bit back a whimper as I cupped one of my breasts again.

“Go on,” he muttered crudely. That was it. His cruelty. For some twisted reason, I thrived off it.

Gasping, I plunged a hand inside my gray jogging pants and fingered between my folds. I was drenched. “I’m wet,” I whispered. “For you.” Wiggling my hips, I moved the camera so he could see me pleasuring myself. Once it was in place, I slipped my fingers inside my pants again. As I stroked my clit, I thought of Amit and said, “Why did you hide from me?”

There was a heavy pause as he sucked in a breath. “Why would I hide from you?” An edgy gruffness appeared in his voice.

“Then why keep us apart for so long?” I moaned as I swirled my fingers teasing my clit.

“You give yourself too much credit. We never had a reason to meet, nor do I…” Amit stifled a hungry groan. “…try to have a reason to deal with anyone.” He was definitely affected. I couldn’t see it, but I could hear it as my body reeled him in.

“You’re lying. I saw your secretary,” I hissed. “She wastoldto keep us apart.”

“I… Can’t see what you’re doing,” his voice was tense. I hadn’t realized I let my hand fall. I lifted it back up so that he could see my hand move underneath the jogging pants. “I still don’t see much.”

“That’s all you’re getting for now,” I mumbled as I bit the inside of my cheek and slowed my pace. My release was already close to bursting through my skin. “Can you let me see something from you?”

“Knowing that I’m watching your every move isn’t good enough?”

Well, when he put it that way… I arched my back and increased the pressure of my fingers until I began to shake. My arm was aching as I held up the phone, but the pleasure was stronger.

“What are your fingers doing?” he asked.

“You know what they’re doing,” I whispered.

“I think that none of them are inside you.”

“Is that what you want? For me to stick my fingers inside myself?” I laid my head back and closed my eyes as I rolled my hips around. I couldn’t do this much more. I was about to go up in flames, but I didn’t want to stop myself from doing so.

“If that’s what you want.”

I panted. “What about whatyouwant?”

“Come like we both know you want to,” he said instead.

And of course, I listened. One leg fell off the sofa while the other stretched out as I thrusted my hips up, up until it all came crashing down. I contained most of my moans as I bit into my lips—not willing to give Amit too much since he was unwilling to participate—and dropped my hand down, no longer able to hold it in the air. The lights flickered in and out like they always did when I reached my peak. An audible groan vibrated through the phone—his raspy, reluctant exhale was music to my ears.

Admittedly, I felt calmer and more relaxed. The regret I felt earlier was all gone. I had gotten what I wanted in the end and it had felt good. When you were stamped by time, you lost the will to live cautiously. I wanted more from Amit, more, more,more. I wanted to see him through the camera. But for tonight, we were finished.

“Thanks for being a great watcher,” I whispered. “Goodnight, Amit.”

This time I hung up.

Chapter Eleven

RUTH

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