Page 30 of Soul Food

I reached out; the weight pushed down on me harder until my heels were no longer on the dirt and gravel fell off the cliff where I would soon join it.

“It isn’t time,” I yelled.

I didn’t think he’d answer, but he did.

“Sing.”

When I didn’t, the dirt gave beneath my feet and I tumbled.

Sucking in a breath, I bolted upright in my bed. Falling in a dream was horrible enough, but the presence of the demon was the true horror as I blinked my eyes and took in my bedroom to gain some reality.

Only the demon wasmyreality.

Taking in another deep breath, I lifted my legs and rested my head on my knees. Everything was okay. I accepted my fate a decade ago so why did I let it get to me now?

Every day of the past year, my emotions were on repeat. More or less, I’d wake up and remember my fate and go through the emotions. First came fear, then anger and resentment, then the unfairness until finally the acceptance came. It was when I reached that point in my head, I was able to crawl out of bed and go about my life.

I raised my head and saw my notebook on the pillow to my right where I left it last night. I was onto something. The vibe of this new song was different yet exciting nonetheless, and that’s what made me want to get out of bed.

Grabbing the notebook, I pulled away the covers and slid my legs off the bed. I paused when I felt my foot touch something. I looked down to see a Red Grace stuck to the bottom of my foot. Red Grace was the name for a herbaceous peony—a flower. I only knew the name of it since I spent a day searching for it on the internet after my first encounter with the demon. He’d been here last night. Fear slithered up my back, but I simply took a deep, painful swallow and stood.

It was nothing new. Over the years, I’d encountered a lot of them. That’s how I knew he’d been around. I didn’t know if he left them to keep me reminded or not, but if he did, it worked.

The flower put a renewed sense of urgency in me, and more than anything, I wanted to get down the words stuck in my head before my time was up. I just had to figure out what they were.

_______

“Ruth!”

“Liz…” I said skeptically as she darted out in front of me.

To say I was surprised by Liz’s ambush on my way inside the rehab center Saturday morning was an understatement. It couldn’t have been easy for her father to find Ma’s new whereabouts after their first try to tarnish my reputation by saying I was the one in rehab. It hadn’t worked out in their favor, and the rumors died out quickly.

But that was three years ago. Liz James approached me after her world fell apart. Reporters caught a whiff of her addiction habits and nasty tendencies to cause trouble that had fatal consequences. She had caused a big scene, saying I was the reason for her downfall. It was pathetic and sad when she was to blame along with her dirt-dealing father. Other than the song “Sun”,I hadn’t bothered with Liz James. The need to set out and do what I wanted took the forefront of my life.

And now by the looks of Liz’s career and life, I knew my choice had been the right one.

Jayne whipped out her phone without a second notice as she spotted the blonde bombshell that used to be my best friend.

I eyed her carefully. “Come to blame me for your new problems?”

Liz’s hands snagged the edge of her shirt and held it tightly. But this wasn’t about anger. No. She was shaking, and her eyes were full of guilt. Wait! That couldn’t be right. “Ruth…” Was that a hint of pleading in her voice?

My spine stiffened with suspicion, and my gut churned with dread. I could handle almost whatever she threw at me except… The first year of my career, maybe, I kept waiting for this to happen, but not now.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out.

My nostrils flared as I breathed in loud enough for Jayne and Liz to hear. “Whatever your game is, Liz, leave.” I closed my eyes and mustered up strength. “I’m over what happened between us and believe me when I say that I wish you the best.” The best is something Liz and her father never gave me when they stripped me of my songs, love, and pride that day. “But I don’t want to see you.”

“Ruth, I fucked up our friendship.” She was crying.

Shit, why did she have to cry? Now I was uncomfortable and slightly ticked.

Liz continued, “I was always jealous and scared around you. I couldn’t help it! But I know now what I did was wrong. We would have been great together—our little duo. I’m sorry I screwed it up.”

Rupert and Max appeared. Jayne must have called them out of the car. Rupert respected my privacy when I came to visit Ma while Jayne was in a league on her own and stayed attached to my hip. She wasn’t going anywhere if she thought I might need her even if that meant getting yelled at by my ma.

“Is there a problem?” Rupert asked, and I shook my head.

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