Page 23 of Soul Food

I palmed my forehead. “It’s making me cringe just thinking about it. Why do you let me keep my phone when I drink?”

She laughed. “Cause you normally don’t do anything like that.” That was true. I didn’t know why that chiseled piece of perfection was tearing me all to pieces. And the saddest part of all was the time I had been in his presence had been all but maybe two minutes—a good several feet apart. “Ruth.” Jayne dropped down beside me on the sofa and grabbed my hand reassuringly. “It’s okay to be attracted to someone.”

I sputtered. “What? I’m not attracted to him. I can’t stand the way he acts dismissive and cold toward me. I feel foolish for wanting to know what he looked like for so long.” I groaned. “This is your fault. You planted the Amit seed in my brain and got me curious. Now, I’m pissed. Before I had nothing but silent respect for the guy since he seemed to have my back even if it was for the company.”

“It’s more than that, Ruth.” Jayne shook her head. “He doesn’t deal with anything himself, unless it’s about you then he wants to know everything. Most of the time, he pushes boundaries and does shit that a normal person wouldn’t get away with.”

I held up my hand. “Stop it, Jayne. No more talk about him.”

“Ruth, he’s magnetic and wholly male. There’s nothing wrong with being drawn to him. I’d let him all up in this if I could.” She pointed toward her crotch. “In fact, you should let him get up all in your business. I fully support Ruth Thomas having some fun. Fun in which she desperately needs.”

I was attracted to him, but I was irritated by him too. Besides, even if Amit did show an interest in me—which I highly doubted—there was still the demon problem. He killed every man that wanted in my pants. Thankfully, he didn’t mind my hand and vibrators since he’d yet to ax them or my fingers.

What a dick of a demon!

He took my soul and wouldn’t even let me get any nooky. Not that I wanted Amit.

The bastard.

Now I felt stupid for cursing a man so much for doing absolutely nothing to me other than wanting to get away from me. That wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine. I shouldn’t have let Jayne feed my curiosity about the mysterious president.

I didn’t have time to dwell on this situation with Amit. More than anything; I wondered if I could get up on stage one last time? Or several? Should I try writing one last song to leave behind?

Like what the hell did I want to do with what time I had left?

That was what I was afraid of. That I wouldn’t figure it out before my time was up.

Then my mind returned to Amit. “Have you forgotten how quick he was to get away from me yesterday?” I glanced at Jayne.

“He looked like a man that needed distance in order to keep himself in check,” she said. “I just got this vibe that he’s barely holding onto something—a very thin thread that he doesn’t want to snap.”

“Huh.” I smirked at her. “You got all this from one look?”

“Don’t belittle my skills, Ruth. I’m pretty damn good at reading men and women.” She gave me a sly look.

“Okay. Change the subject.”

“All right.” She blew air through her cheeks as she got up from the sofa. “Rebecca’s talk show or nah?”

I shook my head. There was no way I wanted to do any talk show where they’d ask a bunch of personal questions, and I had none to give. No one with two months left to live had time for that.

“Okay,” she said.

I loved that about Jayne. She didn’t try to force me to do things. Instead, she fully supported my choices even if it meant sliding under the radar.

“We lie low for a while and recharge?”

I chuckled as Jayne’s words proved my point. “Yeah, I thought that maybe I’d drop in at the studio sometime this week. See if Roo wanted to give me some music for some new lyrics.” Lil’ Roo was a good friend that I worked with a lot. He was an amazing rapper despite his goofy name.

She sighed. “That’s not recharging. Don’t you ever want to do anything but write songs?”

“No.” I was dead serious too, and she knew it because she laughed. “Words consume me, but I let them.”

“As long as that makes you happy,” she mumbled.

“Music is my love. I think we know that by now,” I told her with a cheesy smile that had her grinning.

There was a knock on the door, followed by several insistent, almost urgent ones. We gave each other a curious look. “Let me see who it is,” Jayne mumbled.

---