I looked away from the paper in time to see my water was close to overflowing the tub. I squeaked and raised up, splashing some water on the floor as I turned it off. I let some water out before settling back into the tub and rereading Benjamin’s words.
This sounded nothing like Gorilla Ben and Rosie. Gorilla Ben wouldn’t know how to do these things, and Rosie was completely innocent as well… This was Benjamin. Words like pussy and tits weren’t words I’d use for them. Their lovemaking would be sweet.
Benjamin’s made me hot. Hotter than what this water was making me feel. The intensity of how much I wanted him shook me. I didn’t know this side of him. I didn’t know what kind of lover he was, whether he was giving or the one to lead, but now I knew a bit of the way his mind worked while thinking of a woman. It was only a glimpse, but it was enough. It somehow felt more erotic than any experience I’d had with a man before.
It had me thinking about the dildo he had given me, and how much I wished I had brought it in the bathroom with me. I hadn’t used it yet, but I was past the point of crossing the line. My mind crossed it every second of the day. I needed relief, and I was going to let myself have it.
Letting the water out, I didn’t even put on my clothes. I just wrapped a towel around me and ran to my room where I used what he had given me. Only I didn’t feel relieved when I made myself come, it made me want my best friend more.
Chapter 21
_______
Benjamin
1 month, 1 week, and 4 days prior…
I was becomingincreasingly more pathetic. I couldn’t even massage her leg without getting hard and having to go hide with it in my room so that I didn’t freak her out with it.
I’d get carpal tunnel at the rate I was going. I rolled my wrist around as I thought about it. Maybe I should date. Being with someone else always helped cure my Emily illness for a while, but now that I was older and here living with her, the idea was terrible. I would still be thinking about her. I knew, for a fact, that would be the case because it happened with Tammy, and I had hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt somebody else.
I just had to face the facts. I was recklessly in love with Emily, and there was nothing I could do about it. I could tell her… Then I might lose her…but then she might realize she loved me back.
Why the fuck couldn’t I just man up and say something?
I lifted my eyes from my phone and watched her from the couch as she put her hair up, her shirt riding up in the process. I glanced back down at my phone and focused heavily on the screen, then my eyes somehow ended up staring at her exposed skin again.
“Where are you going?” I asked her.
“Going to go wash some clothes at Dad’s,” she answered. “Do you think your mom will come visit me when she sees me pull in with your truck next door?”
I thought about it. “Maybe, but there’s a chance she’s not home.”
“I wish I could just clear the air with her,” she grumbled, and that made me smile.
“Since when did you care so much about what my mom thought, anyway?”
“I’ve always cared. I just acted like it didn’t bother me.” She slipped on her flip-flops. “I’m off today, wanna go somewhere when you get off?”
I perked up. “Yeah. Won’t get off until probably six, is that all right?”
She nodded. “See ya this evening.”
_______
“Benjamin!” Emily screeched as she tried to latch onto my shirt. I purposely skated away so that she couldn’t. She wobbled, and her legs were close to doing splits as she tried to keep from falling.
It was the funniest thing I’d ever seen.
We opted for skating—well, I pestered Emily until she gave in. Our town wasn’t big. Our choices had been the movie theater, bowling, skating, or Crash’s for drinking.
“Benjamin, come here!” She looked so desperate, I kind of felt bad that I was enjoying this so much. “Don’t let me fall.” She saw my face and glared. “Stop laughing.”
Right when she was about to fall, I grabbed her arms and righted her. “How hard is it to skate?” I asked her. I skated backwards, pulling her along with me. “One foot at a time.”
She huffed. “I’m sorry. I suck at every sport.”
I slid my hands down into hers as we slowly made our way around the circle. Her eyes darted to everyone around us like she was afraid we were going to hit someone, then she looked back and saw me smirking. “Why do you have to be good at everything?”