Page 98 of Fall From Grace

I smiled and he placed his hand on my knee as he ate as if to say that we had all the time in the world to catch up on the last few years.

“That’s great, Noah, it really is.” Dad looked down at his paper plate before adding, “You proved me wrong, Noah, and although it’s damn irritating to have to admit that, I’m glad you did.”

Noah and I looked at one another and grinned. “I’ve always known what I wanted, and I made sure I could get it,” he said while staring at me.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Dad agreed. “Grace.” I looked over at him and stopped smiling. “I didn’t realize how much I hurt you when we lost your mom and if I had known you were blaming yourself the same way I had been, I would have spoken up instead of sinking into this sadness that’s had a hold of me since your mom passed away.”

I frowned. “What do you mean? The same way? Why would you feel that way?”

He gave me a miserable smile. “That night at the hospital when you showed up with Noah and your mom was still in surgery and we didn’t know the shape she was in… I had been angry and scared, so I had said she had been coming to get you just to make you feel horrible for going to be with Noah when I had told you not to. She hadn’t been coming to get you.”

“What?” I mumbled. Noah looked just as startled as I felt.

Dad placed his fists against his head as he finally broke down, “She wanted take-out, you know how your mom was with take-out when she didn’t want to cook… She had asked me to go with her, but the only thing I wanted to do was argue with her because she had taken you to meet Noah. I was so angry, but she was completely calm and cheerful as I griped the entire time and when I refused to go with her to get us some food, she said she’d go herself. I kept telling her to call you and get you to come home, and I remember clearly what she said to me as she was walking out of the door that day, ‘Steven, you might as well get used to it because mark my words, that boy is going to be our son-in-law one day’.”

I was crying while Dad muffled his own. Noah was deathly still next to me. “She had so much confidence in you both, but I was so scared and angry, Grace, you were my baby. I didn’t think someone with a background like Noah could give you what you deserve.” Dad wiped his eyes. “I’m telling you this because you’ve been hurting for something that wasn’t your fault, if anything, it was my fault for not going with her. If I had gone with her, I would have driven and it might have made a difference.”

I covered my eyes and cried harder. I felt Noah’s arms go around me. I’d been feeling guilty for nothing and while I thought Dad had been distancing himself because he blamed me, it was really himself that he blamed. All this time, Dad and I felt the same way.

I felt Noah’s shoulders tremble and that was when I uncovered my eyes and saw that he was on the verge tears as he held me. There was something so heartwarming about it because all this time, Noah felt the same way just like Janet had told me, but he held onto me instead of letting it eat at him. But now, the truth was out and we were set free.

“I’m so sorry, I hadn’t realized you took my words to heart when I spoke out of anger that night at the hospital,” Dad apologized.

But I had already decided to let go before he even told us the truth of that night. I stood up and walked over to Dad. He looked up at me and I did what Mom would want us all to do. I hugged him tightly, and he placed one hand against my back as he cried. “I already let go of that night before I even came here… It’s time for you to do the same. Instead of remembering Mom for who she was, we’ve been stuck on the day we lost her.”

“I miss her so much,” he told me. “I wish I could go back to that day and just go with her.”

I pulled away and met his eyes. “Then I might have lost both my parents that day and I’ve missed you and her both enough the past few years already. I still need you, ya know.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said again. “I’ve missed you too. I didn’t know how to be myself once we lost her.”

We were only human. We bottled up our feelings and held on tight when it would have been so much easier to let go. I thought we would be better now.

We were dusting off our knees and standing back up.

38

You know what it’s like to fly? To soar so fucking high and be free?

Neither did I until that heavy burden fell off my shoulders.

I got my girl, my Priss, my Grace.

I know how to love her, I know how to keep her.

You bet your sweet ass I’ll give her my last name as soon as I can.

N.P.

“This is a lot harder than I remember,” I said and Noah laughed behind me.

“Hurry up, Priss, I still gotta throw you the blankets before I can climb up,” he told me.

We decided to spend the night in the treehouse instead of going back home. Yes,home.I wasn’t separating from Noah ever again, as long as I have breath in me, nevereverwould I leave his side again.

Dad was fine with us staying. He actually looked happy about it. I could imagine how lonely he had been the last few years which I planned to change by becoming a part of his life again.

It’s time to heal, isn’t it, Mom?

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