Page 50 of Fall From Grace

“It’s not as simple as I had wanted it to be.” I held my breath, waiting for what he was about to say. “I thought I could see you as we are now,friends, but I can’t. I don’t. Iwon’t.” He brought his arms up.

“Do you mean…”

“Are you happy with Dustin? You don’t even talk about him and it doesn’t even seem like you hang out with him considering how much we talk to each other.”

“About that,” I started then my words got lost when I saw three men wandering around the front of the garage, watching and leaning in awfully close like they were being nosy. Noah turned around and they all busied themselves. One of them had been Dean.

Noah slowly exhaled before he turned back to me. “We can hang out this weekend.”

“What about the game? We play you guys this Friday.”

“Good,” he nodded. “Catch a ride on the bus or with Tiffany or Sara instead of driving, I’ll take you home after the game.”

“Wouldn’t that be too much trouble? Last time it was a home game for us and you were already close by, you’d be making a long trip to take me home this time.”

“I didn’t plan on taking you home straight away, you came all this way to make plans, didn’t you? I’m giving you what you want.”

I frowned. “Come on, Gus,” I started hollering. His head popped out from Dean’s arms.

“Oh no, what did I do now?” Noah asked.

“Nothing,” I muttered. “I just feel a little foolish for coming so far to see you then even when you make plans with me, it feels like you don’t want to. It makes sense, really, we’re older now, I don’t know why I expect you to want to still spend time with me like you used to.”

Crap. I said too much. I was acting so immature and whiny. I was acting like… a spoiled girlfriend, when I had no right. I just wanted some of Noah’s time, instead, I showed up at his workplace acting like a crazy person.

“Woah,” Noah said, lifting his arms to grab my shoulders. “Where the hell is this coming from? I’m so damn confused, Priss, did I do something wrong?”

I dropped my head, embarrassed. “No,” I mumbled. “I’m just being weird.” Gus finally made his way back to me and Noah released my shoulders so I could pick him up. “I’m going to go. I’m sorry I came and acted like such a brat.” I lifted my eyes to meet his and waited a second before I asked, “Are you mad?”

He smirked. “Why would I be? I got to see something interesting.”

“Interesting?”

“I feel like I’m more important than Dustin, and it feels really fucking good.”

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks and turned my face away. I was being so obvious that he was starting to notice. If I told him about Dustin now… What would he say? Why couldn’t I say it? It felt like I was going to break out in hives to tell him the truth. What if I told him and he disappeared again?

Was that what I was truly worried about? Him leaving once we got close again?

“Are you going to be able to make it home?” he asked when I didn’t say anything.

“I think so.”

“Text me when you’re home so that I know you made it back safely,” he said before he flicked my nose. I grabbed it and finally looked at him again. “I’ll talk to you tonight?”

The drive home consisted of me going through all the emotions: to embarrassment, giddiness, mortified, then back to feeling happy, followed by my other pal, ashamed that I came over and acted the way I did.

My feelings for Noah were changing me into this person I didn’t recognize.

I kept regretting my decision to go see him, then I’d think it over and decide it was worth it because I made plans with him.

I was a hot mess.

Thank you, Noah.

Sincerely, my sanity.

25

---