Page 10 of Fall From Grace

I turned around to face him, the silence eating away at us as I pressed my knees to my chest. He looked just as miserable as I felt. “I’m sorry, Grace. I shouldn’t have shown you the tape,” he said right away.

“Why did you?” My voice wasn’t laced with accusation or guilt. I just wanted to know.

“It’s just something I already knew about, and I don’t know, you’re smart. I guess I thought you would have already known about doing it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I wanted you to know about it like I did.”

“How would I know about that?”

“I’ve seen it at my house before, okay!” he blurted. “I don’t know why I showed you! I guess I was just being a boy and wanted to scare you or something, but I didn’t imagine it would freak you out this much.” He covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, Grace, I won’t ever do something like that again so please don’t hate me, and please stop ignoring me.” He lifted his eyes from his hands and pleaded with me.

The tears fell down my cheeks. “I don’t ever want to talk about this again,” I whimpered. “I’m never doing that when I grow up either,” I hiccupped. Noah steadily scooted closer to me. “I missed you—don’t ever show me that kind of stuff again!”

He nodded as I rested my forehead against his. He stiffened as I calmed down with our small contact. Just like that, the tape faded from my thoughts as the need to be normal with Noah again became more permanent

“Don’t worry, I’m just a boy,” he whispered between us. “I won’t even try to touch you that way even when I become a man.”

When he spoke those words, I knew he was willing the words to be true, and they were true words… that was until puberty hit us both.

5

Grace age 9

Noah age 10

I made a promise that I’d keep, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not one that I hope she will someday let me break.

I care about her too much to hurt her, especially when I fear her hating me, but when I’m alone with my thoughts, the need to grow up and steal her heart gets even stronger.

Will her eyes ever discover me in a way that I picture her getting old and being mine?

I’m not a normal kid. Grace is far from childish some days, too… Except today. She can’t be left alone. She needs me to look after her. It’s okay because I want to.

N.P.

“Don’t even think about it, Grace,” said Noah before I even did anything.

“I’m just taking it some food and water,” I mumbled as I opened the gate and stepped inside the fence of one of our neighbor’s yard. “He’s clearly hungry and I just want to pet him.”

“You clearly need your own pet,” Noah hissed behind me. “Seriously, Grace!” He grabbed my wrist and yanked me backward. I turned and glared at him. “This is trespassing.”

“I’ll come straight back out as soon as I give him the bologna and water!” I promised. I slipped from his grasp and left the gate cracked. Bruce, the Pitbull tied to the porch jumped and barked as I moved closer. His tail wagged as he watched me. Before I even squatted, he jumped up and stole the bologna from my hands. I laughed and petted his stinky fur. “You are such a good boy,” I told him as I poured the bottled water into his bowl. “It’s too hot to be going without water, ain’t it boy?” I cooed and went on.

“Okay, you gave him the bologna, now come on,” Noah barked, and I tilted my head to see him looking around anxiously.

I turned my focus back to Bruce. His collar looked a little too tight. “Hold on, I’m fixing his collar.”

He exhaled a frustrated breath. I ignored him though and focused on holding down Bruce so I could loosen his collar. Once I was finished, I gave him another rub down his back before walking around. “About time,” Noah complained as he opened the gate for me. “And you stink now,” he added. Bruce was barking and whining. He didn’t want me to leave him. “Now he’s throwing a fit because of you.” I rolled my eyes.

“He’ll enjoy that water here in a bit,” I replied.

Then, a boo-boo happened. Not really a boo-boo. More like uh-oh.

It’s like Bruce waited until the moment we had our backs turned to slip out of his collar, and since we hadn’t noticed until he was running out of the gate between us, it kind of made it impossible to shut the gate before he got out.

“GRACE!” Noah yelled my name, and I felt the fear race through my veins. This wasn’t my dog, and his owner was such a turd.

I bent down to grab him but he was long gone. “Bruce!” I screamed. “Noah, what are we gonna do?” I looked to him and asked.

“We?” Noah gave me a horrible look. I knew Noah though, despite his anger with me, he wouldn’t leave me alone even when I was the one at fault. Dogs were my weakness. I couldn’t help it. “Let’s try to catch him,” he said hurriedly.

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