Page 96 of Fall From Grace

I took my hands to his cheeks and lifted his face to mine until our noses were inches apart. “I like you the most.” I slid my hands down until I was touching his. “I never had to be with someone else to know that I like your hands the most, it’s your touch that I love and crave. Even so, I could have tried a thousand different touches and I would have still only wanted yours.” I could be honest too.

“That was overkill, am I dreaming? You can’t really be underneath me right now saying words like that after leaving me for so long,” he whispered.

I kissed his forehead as he placed his lips against my chest. “I’m sorry.” He kissed me again.

“Are you on birth control?” he asked.

“I’m not,” I gasped as he slammed into me all at once.

The pain was exquisite because of what came with it. My body welcomed the rush of him inside me. “Good to know,” he groaned. “Feels like home.”

He kissed, caressed, and molded me as he moved into me. It was rushed and perfect, the feel of him above me as he brought us to the peak. I could go back to who I was. The girl that wholeheartedly loved one boy, even when her friends told her it didn’t make sense to be with only one guy and think there wasn’t better out there.

Maybe I was completely ordinary and a simple small-town girl but to Noah, I waseverything. And if being his everything was as far as I got in life, that was perfectly okay with me.

Then he brought us over our peak and I shattered beneath him as he pulled out and came on my stomach. He cleaned me off with his shirt before cradling me in his arms. I looked up from his chest with a smile. “Did we leave Gus outside?”

He chuckled and got back up from the air mattress. “I’ll go get him. You stay there naked.”

I grinned. “Can you get my shorts outside, my cell phone’s inside the pocket?”

He nodded and ran out the door buck-naked. I was glad he didn’t have neighbors. I shook my head and fell back against the mattress. I was going to be happy with Noah. I looked around the empty room with a contented smile. It was okay to picture my future with him right here. The only person that had control over my happiness was me.

Gus came running through the door followed by Noah. He started jumping onto the air mattress as I heard Noah running water in the kitchen. “Careful, Gus,” I told him as I helped him on the air mattress and covered myself with a sheet. Noah came back into the room with a bowl of water that he sat down on the floor for Gus.

Noah pulled his cell phone out of his pants’ pocket lying on the floor and handed me mine as he sat down next to me. He pulled open a text and showed it to me.

I’m rooting for you.

So don’t disappoint me.

It was the text Mom sent him the night she passed away. It hurt to think of the way she died and her death was a wound I’d never be able to heal, but I would slowly learn to live with it… Like right now, the text made me smile instead of burst into tears and guilt. She had been rooting for us from the very beginning, I had to believe that she’d want us happy instead of miserable. “I had to take a picture of the text so that I would have it on this phone… She gave me a tough time with you but it was because she wanted us both to succeed when we got older.”

“I saw that you still carved,” I told him. “I think she would have been happy to have known you kept to it.”

He smiled. “I have a shed at Dean’s where my saw and things are, I’ll have to build something here for when I get orders.”

“Sounds like you’ve got a lot of work to do with building a shed and treehouse…”

“And not to mention time at the garage, the woodwork, and keeping you happy… I might be a busy man, but I’m going to always make time for you. Everything I do is so that I can give you a comfortable life.”

I pulled him down and kissed him. “I can’t believe I wasted away some of our years together.”

“We’ll have to make up for lost time,” he said as his hand trailed down between my legs.

______

I was sitting on the top step of the porch with a sheet draped over me as I watched the sunset. Noah stepped out of the house and placed a pot of ramen between us as he joined me. “It’s all I had to make,” he told me as he handed me a fork. “Did you call Dustin?” he asked, and I nodded. I let him know that I wasn’t coming back, but he had laughed and said he had expected this outcome, and maybe deep down, I did too.

“He offered to pack my stuff for me and bring it back, but I’d rather do it.”

“We can go get it this weekend,” he told me.

I smiled and took a huge bite. “I wish she was still here, Noah,” I found myself saying as I glanced back at the yard. “It hurts not having her to share my day with, like right now. I’m sure she would have loved this place for us. I could imagine her dragging Dad along because he would have still been giving you a hard time.” I smiled sadly and took another bite. “I want Dad to be happy… and I don’t think I’m going to ever have my relationship with him back.”

He flicked my nose. “He loves you… I can imagine I’d fall apart the same way if I had to lose you in such a way that he lost your mom.” He placed his hand over mine. “Some people cope better than others, you and your dad weren’t those that could.”

I gave him another tearful smile. “Why didn’t I let you comfort me sooner?” I mumbled and he kissed me softly because of it. “Such a waste of years and all that unwanted guilt would have been easier to let go of if I had just let you love me despite everything.”

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