Page 32 of Fall From Grace

“Have you tried to see if you can get the number to where Noah is staying?” I asked.

He snorted. “Yeah, like they are gonna let me have contact with him.” Then they both started laughing like it was funny.

“If you tried to get help and get your shit together, they’d let him come home!”

“Yeah, it looks like I’m trying to get my shit together,” John said, stretching his arms wide and they both chuckled again. “And ladies aren’t supposed to cuss.”

“Stop acting like you don’t care!” I snapped, kicking his coffee table and it was a piece of crap so I ended up breaking one of its legs. “I saw you try the first few weeks after he left.” I looked down at the broken table, feeling a little flushed with embarrassment.

“Aye, John, if we got an addiction problem then she’s got an anger issue, right?”

They both started laughing again.

“John, please, if not for you then try to get his contact information for me,” I said the same things every week and it never made a difference… yet. “I have to go, I’ll see you next week.”

“Don’t come back,” he said. “And stop letting that mutt in the house!”

“Come on, Gus,” I called to him. “And we’re coming back,” I promised.

“If you got a boyfriend, why you still trying to get in touch with Noah?” he surprised me by asking.

“Because no one compares to your son,” I told him the truth, and he surprised me with a genuine smile, one filled with pride. I walked out the door smiling because at least for a second, I could smile for Noah. Somewhere underneath his father’s addiction might lay a man that loved his son.

18

Grace age 16

Noah age 17

I talk to Janet a lot about Grace. She wants to meet her, but I’m still waiting to reunite with her myself. I trust Grace’s mom, Allison, but at the same time, I don’t know how much longer I can wait.

The thought of someone stealing her away from me drives me mad.

What if someone already has? After all, I was only the trailer park boy that lived close by.

N.P.

“Grace, brake. Press the brake! The brake!” Mom screamed and I slammed on the brake.

“Mom!” I hissed, shaking like a leaf as I held the steering wheel with both hands. “Why are you yelling?”

“Because, the stop sign,” she said dramatically, holding her chest.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I know, I was nowhere near being close to it!”

She looked at me all scared like. “I’m sorry, this just makes me nervous.”

I groaned. “I know, Mom, but I’m more nervous than you are and your nerves are only rubbing mineraw.”

She laughed at my choice of words and I huffed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Continue.”

“I’d like to take my test by the end of this month,” I told her and she nodded some more.

Thirty minutes later, we were parked at Stevie’s—a small pickup burger stand beside the highway. We sat at a picnic table as we ate.

“So,” Mom started, slurping on her drink. “You and Dustin?” she waggled her brows and I groaned loud enough for her to hear. “So, you’re dating him but you don’t like him?” she asked.

I shook my head. “I do like him, I just—”

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