Page 68 of Holly, Jolly, and Oh So Naughty

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask tightly, forcing each word out with a breath.

“Like I said, James. I was trying to protect you. I had no idea that she kept the child. Though, I suppose when she turned down the money, I should have suspected as much.”

“Wait, what money?” The anger inside me fizzles through all of my muscles before settling heavily in my chest like a bowling ball. Breathing hurts. Swallowing hurts.

Mom moves away from me and back to the tree as the distant sounds of car horns and squealing brakes drift up from the city below.

“I offered her money, a lot of money, actually, if she got an abortion. That harlot refused so instead, I started making sure that she would never see a dime of our money. I was under the impression that she went ahead with the abortion and I thought that was the end of it.” Mom adjusts a bauble on the tree, then she turns back to me with a smile on her face.

“You…” No wonder Lily didn’t trust me. I can’t fathom how scared she must have been to learn she was pregnant, only to end up with my mother trying to pay her to get rid of it.

“Did Dad know?” I ask hoarsely.

“No.”

Suddenly, nothing else I could say to my mother even matters. I give her one last look and then turn around and stride toward the elevator.

“James? James! Where are you going?” She hurries after me, her high heels clacking loudly on the wooden floor. “James!”

“I only came here to hear the truth from you,” I force out through the tension bleeding into my jaw. “And somehow, it’s even worse than anything I ever could have imagined.”

The elevator doors slide open, and I stride inside just as my mother reaches me. Tears sparkle in her eyes, and she clutches the door.

“Son, please. Stop and let’s talk about this.”

“No.” There is nothing more to say. I can’t even stomach looking at her anymore, so I avert my gaze to the floor. “Six years. I missed six years of my daughter’s life because you—” I can’t put the words together. “We are done, do you hear me? I will never speak to you again.”

“James!”

Her wail echoes in the elevator as the doors close, and I’m swiftly sent down to the lobby. As I descend, I wonder how on earth I can make this up to Lily. Now that I know the truth, I have to do everything in my power to make it right.

I have to show her that I am here for her and Emma. I want to be in my daughter’s life.

If she says no, I will show her that I will still always be here as a pillar of support.

Stepping out into the lobby, I’m striding toward the entrance when a familiar voice calls out to me.

“James?”

My shoes skid slightly on the marble floors as I turn. “Bernice?”

“I thought that was you!” My ex-fiancée, looking as glamorous as ever, hurries up to me with a bright, wide smile and a short, lanky man in tow. “I had no idea you were back in the city!”

“I’m not,” I say as she quickly pulls me into a brief hug. As she steps back, I spot that she’s hand in hand with the man. “It was just a fleeting visit.”

“To see your mother?” Sympathy bleeds into her tone. “You’d think I’d personally poured pig blood over her furs, the way she keeps calling my mother.”

“I’m sorry.” I chuckle. “But yeah, I had something I needed to straighten out with her.”

“Are you staying for Christmas? A few of us are going to have Christmas Eve drinks at Lacey’s if you want to join us?” Bernice’s smile is so happy and hopeful, nothing like it was when we were together. She must be really happy now.

“I can’t. I have somewhere I need to be. And I’m sorry, I’m James.” I offer my hand to the smiling, silent man at Bernice’s side, and he grips it firmly.

“Adam.”

“The barista, right?”

His cheeks dust pink as he nods, and Bernice giggles, turning to peck him on the cheek.

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