Page 65 of Holly, Jolly, and Oh So Naughty

My own hurt fades, replaced by the heat of my own anger. “You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not fucking joking. How could you not tell me I had adaughter?”

“Because you didn’t want to know!” I snap, taking my own step back toward the house. “You left me, James. Did you forget that tiny detail? Your father called you to heel and you just left. Youwent back to God knows where, back to your fancy family and fancy life, and you broke my heart!”

James’s lips press into a thin line. “Youknowhow hard my family are. I had no choice.”

“You did! And you chose!”

“So what?” James snaps. “So what if I thought I did the right thing to keep my family happy? You had no right to keep my daughter from me.”

“Don’t you dare!” Heat builds behind my eyes and my heart races. “I tried everything.Everything. All I could think of was to get in touch with you because when I found out I was pregnant, I was so scared. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to be that girl who came home from college with a baby, but that’s what I was becoming. I thought I could at least come back with a man too.”

“Then you didn’t try hard enough!”

“No, James. You didn’t. I was told that you didn’t care, that you wanted nothing to do with me and there was nothing I could do to change that. After a bunch of rejections, I finally understood. You didn’twantto be a father.”

James begins to pace back and forth, wearing away the snow to the point that the wood gleams through. “No,” he murmurs.

“Yes,” I snap. “So I came home. I gave birth. I raisedmydaughter alone because you didn’t care. And I understood after some time. You were going to be some rich, successful doctor and you didn’t need me. In fact, you cared so little that you got your mother to tell me to back off!”

“Mymother?”

“Yes! So don’t you stand there and try to make me out to be the bad guy here. I did and have always done what is best for my daughter. She even tried to pay?—”

“No. My mother would never. She has talked about grandchildren ever since I reached dating age!”

“You’re not going to stand there and defend her after what I saw the other day. Are you serious?” My anger boils over and suddenly, nothing else matters. All I need is for James to understand how much he hurt me. “Youleftme, James. You didn’t take my calls. You wanted nothing to do with me, so yes, I raised my daughter by myself.”

“And us?” James yells back. “What, you were fucking me for old time’s sake? Where does that factor in, huh? Did you not think that eventually, I’d start asking questions?”

“Doubtful,” I mutter bitterly. “You thought Mark was the father, for fuck’s sake. You clearly weren’t working anything out.”

“So you were never going to tell me?”

“I don’t know! I hadn’t planned on any of this. First it was a favor because I felt bad for you after your father, and then we started having fun, and I told myself it was only temporary, but now things are messy and confusing.”

“I chose to stay here,” James says tightly. “I chose to stay and you still didn’t tell me.”

“Because I was scared! The last time I tried to tell you, it was clear you were not?—”

“Not true,” James barks, and he points at me. “How do I know you didn’t fail to try hard enough?”

“You think I wanted to be a single mother?” The glass nearly slips from my hand, so I slam it down onto the nearest snow-covered surface. “Itried. You were the one who never picked up. I had to speak to your mother!”

“And now?” James approaches me, his eyes dark. “Why wouldn’t you tell me as soon as I turned up? Seven years of child support is overdue, wouldn’t you say?”

“It was never about that,” I snap heatedly. The anger itches along my skin, flushing hot repeatedly until I no longer feel the cold. “I didn’t know if you were here to stay or if this was just some random stumble in your confidence. I wasn’t going to disrupt Emma’s life on the small chance that you could commit this time!”

“All this time, my child was right here and you—” James clenches his fist, raising it to his mouth. “How long would you wait before telling me? How long would I have to prove myself before you trusted me with the knowledge of my own child?”

“I don’t know,” I say, and I deflate slightly. “I hadn’t thought that far because you’ve only been here a few weeks, and I guess I expected you to just leave again.”

James halts his pacing and the anger in his eyes is suddenly replaced with open, honest hurt.

“I chose you,” he says tightly. “And now you stand here, telling me you didn’t even know if we had a chance at a future together? That after everything I have done and shown you, you don’t trust me?”

My mouth falls open and my brain doesn’t work. I can’t think of anything to say, caught up in the frustration that suddenly, I’m the bad guy, but he was the one who left.

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