Page 63 of Holly, Jolly, and Oh So Naughty

“I was, but I realized I wanted to get these. Here.” Sitting back down, I pull two handmade scarves out of my pocket and hand them each to Lily and Emma. Lily gets a blue one covered in snowflakes and Emma gets a green one covered in snowmen.

“Oh, wow!” Emma gasps, messily throwing the scarf around her neck. “For me?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, James.” Lily is more delicate when putting her scarf on. “You didn’t need to do this.”

“I wanted to.” I chuckle.

Emma suddenly launches herself into my arms and hugs me tightly. “Thank you, thank you!”

“Of course.” I smile brightly, hugging her back, but I catch Lily watching us with a strange look on her face.

Emma pulls away, then sprints to the next table to show her friend her new scarf.

“Are you okay?” I ask Lily, trying to decipher the look on her face.

“I…” She shakes her head. “Did you mean it?” she asks. “Choosing to stay here over going back to your family?”

“Family isn’t what they are. They’re all rules and public opinion, and they’ve mapped out my life from birth to death. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m really in control. I feel free. And that maybe life can surprise me now. It wasn’t a hard decision at all. I think I’d already made it weeks ago and this was the final nail.”

“Wow,” Lily says softly. “You sound so different now when you talk. Like… like you’re not weighed down anymore.”

“It does feel like that,” I reply, reaching for her hand. “Although there is something I’ve been wondering about.”

“Mmmhmm?”

“You and me… we don’t have to label it or anything, but I am having the time of my life with you. And I know that it might feel cheeky, given what happened between us all those years ago. It was so hard, getting swept up in family obligations, and by then, it was too late to reach out to you because you had surely moved on.”

Lily frowns deeply. “Wait?—”

“I just mean,” I cut in hurriedly. “This makes me happy. I want to get to know you so much better. And Emma too. But I wonder about her father. Should I talk to him? Are there boundaries there that I should navigate?”

Lily’s face pales slightly and she presses her lips together. “James, do you really?—”

“Mommy!” Emma yells suddenly. “We’re going to be late!”

Lily glances at her watch and then jumps up. “You’re right! The show!” Lily and Emma rush off toward the square while I quickly pay for dinner and then head after them. They make itjust in time, and Emma is whisked backstage. I find Lily in the crowd, but it’s now too noisy for us to continue our conversation, although Lily looks faintly unwell.

The show begins and I watch, enthralled, as the children of the town act out the story of Christ. Emma is an adorable shepherd, although she loses her beard halfway through, much to the amusement of the crowd. Lily holds my hand through the entire thing.

We become slightly separated when the show is over and the crowd breaks up. As we head backstage, I find myself scanning the crowd, and my mind runs with the possibilities of what Lily is going to say.

Emma comes sprinting out of the small curtained changing area with a tinsel halo and throws herself into her mom’s arms. “Did you see?” she yells. “Did you see me?”

Lily laughs. “I did.”

Emma then wriggles free and charges toward me. I spot the melting ice cream bear in her hand just in time to avoid a sticky mess, and Emma latches on to me. “Did you see, Dad? Did you see?”

A slip of the tongue that punches me in the chest, and for a second, I can’t breathe.

I glance up at Lily, and she’s staring back at me, white as a sheet.

“Lily?” I ask softly, ruffling Emma’s hair. “Lily, what’s wrong?”

25

LILY

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