20

JAMES

Two glasses of liquid courage may not be enough to fuel me through what I’m about to do, but it’s all I trust myself with.

Pacing my room, I stare down at my phone. Ever since my mother’s daunting “I’m coming to drag you back” text, she’s been ignoring my calls.

Because of course she has.

She only answers when it benefits her, and now that she has me where she wants me, she can get cozy and ignore all my attempts to contact her.

I shouldn’t be having this kind of struggle with my mother at this age, but my compassion for her grief is very slowly fading.

It takes a few routes around my room to find the path that creaks the least floorboards—I don’t want to be called a bad guest, after all—then I drain my second glass of Scotch and hitSendon my text, telling my mother I’m coming home.

She calls me within twenty seconds and is sickeningly cheery.

“So!” Mom declares when I answer. “It’s about time you came to your senses.”

“I’m not coming home,” I reply sharply. “You’re not the only one who can manipulate someone with a fucking text.”

“You watch your language,” she snaps. “You can’t be serious. Oh, James, I was so hoping that you were finally over this terrible tryst of yours and were coming home.”

“I’m not coming home, Mother, and it’s about time you accepted it.”

“Then I am coming there.”

“No,” I snap, tightening my grip on my phone. “You’re not, and I’m going to tell you why. I am done, Mother. You hear me? I amdone.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“I am done withyouand your meddling ways. All my life, Mom, all my life, everything has had to go through you, and for a long time, I thought that was the way it was supposed to be because everyone told me it was that way. I had to get permission from you and Dad about what classes to take, who to be friends with, what parties to attend, and who I could date!”

I take a breath and move to the drinks fridge, pouring myself another as I talk.

“I wanted to be a vet, but no, I had to go into medicine like Dad because that’s just the way it’s supposed to be. So I did that. I studied because you told me to, took extra classes and worked my ass off for extra credit just to… what, get a full run to university anyway because Dad knew the dean? Then, I had to spend years proving that I belonged there and that I wasskilled and knowledgeable. But I did it because it made you both happy.”

“James—”

“No! I’m not finished. You have to let me speak. For once, Mom, justlisten. You control everything. You were in charge of my clothes, my meals, my education, my entire life, and that was the way it was supposed to be. And any time I tried to be my own person, you would guilt trip me into slotting right back into the place where you wanted me to be.”

“James, I only ever wanted what was best for you.”

I grit my teeth, fighting the urge to shout at her. “No, you did what was best for you. What madeyoulook good. Having a doctor as a son, following his famous father? Howwonderfulfor you. It didn’t matter that I was unhappy or had other desires in life. All that mattered was people praising you for doing such a good job, and then, when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, you picked out the woman I was supposed to marry.”

“Bernice is a good match for you!”

“No, Mother. If you had stopped to look or even spoken to either one of us, you would have seen that we were not a good match. We were just trapped in family obligations. But I’m done with that now, you hear? I am done living a life that only makes you happy.”

“Your father?—”

“Don’t,” I snap. “You bring him up trying to guilt trip me, and it usually works, but can’t you look at yourself and see what you are doing? Maybe Dad would hate me. I don’t know, but I like to think he would respect me for making my own choices.”

I resume my pacing with a glass in hand, liquid sloshing against my fingertips.

“I like it here. I like this town. I’ve earned my own reputation from my own good work. I help people here, people who otherwise would never be able to afford the kind of treatment I can provide. I’ve made friends and I found the love of my life! I missed out on her once and I won’t do it again.”

“What?” My mother’s tone changes, but I’m mid-rant, so I barely notice.