Page 72 of Holly, Jolly, and Oh So Naughty

Amelia is the only one not swayed by my romantic plan because, like me, she has Lily’s best interests at heart, and I am the bad guy. She does listen to me, though, standing behind her desk brandishing scissors that I’m sure she wants to stab into my neck, and then she agrees to play the most crucial part.

All I need is for Amelia to get Lily to a certain place by a certain time, and then the rest will be up to fate. Will Lily accept me and listen to what I have to say? Or will she turn me away and become nothing more than a distant love while I work hard to support the daughter I missed?

The night before Christmas Eve, I sit in my inn room and pore over the Sweet Noel website. A new accolade has been added to celebrate the success of the auction, and Lily is making herself available to other charity events. I scroll until I reach the bottom where there is a picture of Lily hugging Emma, and my heart clenches.

Now that I know the truth, it’s hard to understand how I missed the resemblance. Emma looks a lot like me, and that should warm me, but I don’t allow myself to accept those feelings—not yet.

What happens next is not about what I want. It’s about Lily and what she’s had to deal with ever since I left her all those years ago. I can say what’s in my heart and make a thousand promises,but at the end of the day, Lily is the one who knows what is best for her and Emma.

I tell myself that I will accept her decision no matter what, but even as night falls and a blanket of stars drapes across the town, visible from my window, my heart yearns for more.

The pain of living without Lily but being in Emma’s life will be enough for me. And if they want me to keep their distance, I can do that too.

I lie back and stare through the curtains to the stars above, absently counting them as I run through what it felt like to see Lily again after so long. She pushed back the tidal wave I was drowning under and went out of her way to help me.

I’m now more certain than ever that I never stopped loving her. I just buried it deep because I thought that was the right thing to do.

I now know that I should have followed those feelings. I might be too late in doing it now, but it’s all I have left to offer.

As I close my eyes, I fantasize about Lily running into my arms and kissing me with such passion that I can’t hold back my tears. Then I envision Emma joining us and her sweet voice calling meDadover and over again.

Those thoughts carry me into restless sleep with only one last thought on my mind.

Tomorrow, I may wake up to a reality in which Lily wants nothing to do with anyone from the Anderson family ever again.

I have one chance to change her mind.

29

LILY

“You’re really not going to tell me where we’re going?”

It’s Christmas Eve and Amelia turned up at my house with a bright smile, insisting that I dress up. I’d agreed to attend her work Christmas night out a few days ago, but I’d been under the impression that it would be just me, her, and a few friends.

Suddenly, I needed to bring Emma.

“Nope,” Amelia says as she walks beside me, popping thePwith a grin. “I just need you to trust me.”

“You know I can’t take Emma into the bar, right?” I remind her.

Amelia nods and glances past me at Emma. She’s stomping through the mounds of snow lining the sidewalk with her small, gloved hand clutched in my own. A bitterly cold wind dances past us, kicking up loose snow and sending it swirling into the air.

Walking through town on Christmas Eve is a magical experience. Every shop has its lights on, and a variety oftwinkling colors spills from decorated windows onto the snow-covered ground. People hurry past us, caught up in their last-minute Christmas shopping, and I don’t envy them. To some, it’s almost a tradition.

And yet, as I watch people huddle together hand in hand against the cold, the sadness that’s swamped me these past two days threatens to rise up once more. I still haven’t had the confidence to reach out to James, deciding instead to have a nice Christmas with my family and then I’ll tackle all of that in the New Year.

James hasn’t reached out to me either, so I’m not even confident there will be anything to reach out to.

“Where are we going?” Emma whines, stomping her pink boots more aggressively into the snow. “I’m cold!”

“I know, sweetie,” I soothe her. “But Amelia has a surprise for us. And then I’ll take you to Grandma’s and we can set up the tree, okay?”

Every year for as long as I can remember, my parents have refused to decorate their own Christmas tree until Christmas Eve. Our family tradition is that all other decorations will be set up to make the place look festive, but the tree will always be last. I’m fairly certain it’s because my mother’s work used to take her out of town, but she would always be back by Christmas Eve, and thus, one of our favorite traditions was born.

“Not much farther,” Amelia assures me as we cross the street toward the town square. “I just need you both to promise me one thing.”

“Both of us?” I ask curiously, wondering if Amelia is leading us to the ice skating rink. If she is, I wish we’d taken the car.

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