Page 71 of Holly, Jolly, and Oh So Naughty

“Hmm. Okay, sure. But only if I can get a babysitter.”

“Excellent!” Amelia stands, wobbling slightly, and gathers up the empty bottle, then she moves off to the kitchen.

In her absence, I pull out my phone and study James’s contact. He’s called me once but I didn’t pick up because I was too scared, and then he never called back. I haven’t texted him either because I honestly don’t know what to say.

I don’t know if any excuse he can provide will be good enough… unless he’s just calling to organize child support, in which case I don’t want his money.

But I will take it for Emma.

“Don’t tell me you are drunk dialing.” Amelia snorts as she returns with a third bottle of wine.

“No, I’m just… I don’t know. It doesn’t feel serious right now.”

“That’s because you are drunk, darling.”

“I’ll regret this in the morning,” I say, and yet I don’t tilt my glass away as Amelia refills it.

As she settles next to me to finish out the rest of the film, the alcohol doesn’t keepallthe pain at bay.

Simmering underneath the fuzzy warmth of distance is the single thought that I missed out.

“Here’s to being alone at Christmas,” I say sadly, raising my glass. Amelia knocks our drinks together and cheers.

The happy family on the screen is picture-perfect happiness, and I so badly wanted that for Emma and me.

Instead, I fucked that up spectacularly.

28

JAMES

Ihave a plan.

It might be a terrible plan, but it’s the only plan I have.

After the revelation from my mother that she tried to pay Lily to have an abortion, my perspective switched on the entire situation. It now made so much sense to me why Lily was so cagey about the whole thing. She was probably doing everything she could to protect herself and her daughter from any further harm that came from me or my family, and I can’t say I blame her.

With three days to go until Christmas, I know I have to go big. It’s my only option, my only chance to prove to Lily how I feel and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her and Emma. Then she will be free to make her own choice and I will respect it.

Returning to Evergreen Falls, my first stop is the inn, where I quickly speak to Lily’s parents and lay out the details of my plan. Her mother has some choice words for me at first, but I don’t blame her, considering how things looked when I left.After some apologies and promises, they agree to help me on one condition—that I keep Lily’s best interests in my heart.

That is the easiest promise to make.

Next, I visit several stores around town searching for the perfect gift. I want to find something meaningful that Lily can hold on to as a symbol of my commitment. I get the same look at each store I go into. News travels faster than a fever in this town, so to all, I am the one who broke Lily’s heart.

I accept those looks, and to a few trusted individuals, I reveal my plan. They grow just as excited as I am and are eager to offer their assistance in setting up what would be the grand setting for my idea. I graciously accept all help—paid, of course—and very quickly, my idea is becoming a reality.

The hardest thing about being back in town, however, is avoiding Sweet Noel. Part of me yearns to kick down that door and sweep Lily away so I can explain everything to her, but I resist. I have to do this right. I have to show Lily exactly what she means to me.

So I resist.

In between dodging calls from my mother and then my aunt once I block my mother’s number, I also have to field calls from Margret, who is furious that I just disappeared one morning and left the clinic in the lurch for two days.

Upon stepping into her office, she yells at me for a solid eighteen minutes before taking a breath and letting me speak. I am honest with her because she has always been good to me, and I explain the true cruelty my mother had inflicted on Lily, as well as my part in dealing with the revelation poorly.

Margret smacks me on the shoulder and orders me to make it up to Lily, and I am more than happy to inform her that I plan to do exactly that. I just need a little bit of time.

Once Margret learns the secret, naturally, everyone else knows, and I have to trust that no one will reveal things to Lily until the right moment. This leads me to her best friend, Amelia.

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