Page 82 of The Mirror in the Mountain

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What good would it do to tell you when?—”

“What good would it do for you to tell me thetruth?”

I winced at the betrayal in his voice. “I didn’t lie.”

He let out a low, bitter laugh. “Don’t you dare tell me that carefully concealing this from me is any different. That distraction and omission aren’t the same godsdamned thing.”

“I didn’t want you to?—”

“Toworry? Do you think I haven’t felt the vise around your heart, the cold fear that wakes you in the night despite your attempts to shield it from me? Do you think I haven’t been going out of my mind trying to figure out what’s been haunting you? If something happened when he captured you that you hadn’t told me, or if it was simply the resentment that I couldn’t stop it in the first place? Butthis…”

“Bash—”

“You should have told me,” he growled. “Why thehelldidn’t you?”

I had never seen him so angry, not at me. Never felt the soul-flaying level of distrust emanating down our bond, its icy heat searing into my heart.

“Because you would have talked me out of it,” I shouted, the words ripped from my lips. “Don’t you understand? I already couldn’t bear to go through with it. And telling you…it wouldhave made it even more impossible to do what I should have done already.”

“Good,” Bash yelled, the hurt in his tone immediately dulling my indignation. “Do you think what we have is so ephemeral?” His throat worked as he swallowed, shadows winding down my arms as if to keep me with him. “Our love does not bend to death. Nor will it bow to it.”

I could feel myself shaking. Not wanting him to give me hope while trying desperately not to crumble.

“And if it’s the only way to stop him?”

“We aren’t there yet, hellion.” His voice sharpened. “But even if we were, what good is giving yourself up again, dying for the people you love instead of living for us instead? How can you be soselfish?”

“How canyou?” My voice broke. “It’s not about us, it’s about everyone. No single person matters more than what’s at stake. If we fail, what then? And how many more lives will be sacrificed while I wait?”

I yelped as he picked me up, then pulled me onto his lap, positioning both of us on our makeshift bed.

His throat bobbed. “I amdonewith blind duty—with putting the realm in front of what truly matters. Eva…I won’t lose you. It won’t come to that because therewillbe another way.”

This was exactly why I hadn’t told him. Because I knew I couldn’t hold out against the anguish flooding over our bond, the reality of leaving him. Not when I needed to think about this clinically. I was meant to be the ruler of this realm, and that meant I needed to do what was best for it. Even if that meant never claiming my throne.

“And what if there isn’t one?” My voice splintered apart, a tremor going through me. I was being torn in half—everything I had been trying to hide now spilling into plain view. “This isn’t a godsdamned fairytale. Good doesn’t always conquer evil. What ifthere was never a happily ever after for us, andthat’sthe price of stopping him?”

“I don’tcare,” Bash rasped, his voice cracking as my heart echoed it. “Don’t you dare pretend we aren’t forever. Whatever comes next, we’ll face it together—consequences be damned. And if the choice is between the world and you…I chooseyou, always.”

I was already shaking my head. “You don’t mean that. Not with your kingdom and mine on the line. Not with the entire realm at risk.”

His eyes flashed. “Don’t tell me what I do and do not mean. Not when the choice was made the moment I fell in love with you.”

“I could finish this right now,” I whispered. “And instead, we lostthousandsof people today, Bash, before the main battle has even begun. I can’t live if it means others will die.”

“Their deaths aren't on you. They’re on him.”

Slowly, I shook my head. “The longer I wait, the more our people will be killed because I’m too much of a coward to give up what I have in order to save everyone else. Too much of a coward to tell you and let you talk me out of how we both know this is going to end.”

Bash flinched back like I had hit him, heartbreak etched on every feature. “Is that really what you think? Do you have so little faith in me after what happened to you that you think that’s truly the only way we’ll defeat him? Because we don’t know that…or rather, I don’t, and you shouldn’t either.”

“Bash…” My eyes burned. “Even if I’m not the one to do it, this bloodbond…won’t defeating him take me with him?”

“No,killinghim would, and those two aren’t the same.” A muscle feathered in Bash’s jaw. “You’re not dying, Eva. It’s not an option. And if you think I’m just going to let you, you’re verymuch mistaken.” He sucked in a shuddering breath. “Are you so willing to sacrifice yourself? Sacrifice our lives together?”

I knew the answer. Had known it since the day that sprite had told me what would happen, and I hadn’t acted immediately. Instead, I had waited as the knowledge burrowed deep inside me, digging under my skin like the thorns of a vine as it ensnared me further. Because I hadn’t wanted to end my life—now or ever. Especially not now that, for the first time in a long time, I was finally, miraculously whole.

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