Page 76 of The Other Side of the Mirror

Aviel had tried to take something that didn’t belong to him by claiming the bond, by attempting to claim me. But Bash was always the one who I had let myself depend on from the moment we had met. Who I entrusted with pieces of myself. I had done so willingly, albeit cautiously, as if daring him to prove me wrong.

Because somewhere during our journey through the woods, as we whispered under the light of the stars, my heart had learned to trust again. And each time I gave Bash another piece of me, he had treated it so reverently that I had let down my walls without even noticing. Even if that had given Aviel the chance to take advantage.

Closing myself off had been a safe way to survive. But it hadn’t been living. And suddenly, I was less afraid of taking a chance with my heart than what would happen if I didn’t. Because that openness was entirely because of him. Because of Bash, who had looked straight into all my darkness and never once looked away. Who had taught me how to love again. And to whom I had helplessly lost my heart.

“I already knew you were myanima,” I said softly, and watched a thousand questions whirl in his beautiful eyes.

I knew my reaction to him revealing our bond had convinced him I didn’t want it. Didn’t wanthim. Or worse, that I didn’t think he was worthy, when he couldn’t be more wrong.

It was hard to speak past the lump lodged in my throat at the hurt he was trying so desperately to hide. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry at you for keeping from me what I also kept from you. But the thought of you lying to me, after everything…”

Bash made a wounded sound. His eyes churned wildly, a stormy tempest. But for once he wasn’t hiding what was in his heart: love and pure, bottomless longing.

His voice was suddenly hoarse as he croaked, “When did you find out?”

“Aviel might have gloated about it,” I said, my voice smaller than intended. Bash’s eyes darkened, his shadows curling around us. “Right before I stabbed him.”

I couldn’t help a small smile at that. Bash pressed his thumb into the dimple that appeared, as if trying to memorize the feel of it.

“How long have you known?” I kept my face impassive, trying not to betray how much rested on his answer.

Bash dragged a hand down his face, his fingers splaying over his mouth. “I think I might have known the first time I saw you,” he admitted in a careful whisper that made my heart clench. “But you were supposed to be his. Everyone in the whole damn realm knew that you were his, and he had searched for you for so long to end the curse, and it was our duty to bring you to him.” He hesitated. “But there was a tug to you since the first time our eyes met in that hallway. I tried telling myself it was lust, exacerbated only because I couldn’t have you. Even as you proved again and again how compassionate, how brave, how fearless you are. How perfect you are for me.”

He sighed and looked away. “So I convinced myself I had to push you away, or risk ruining the only thing that could save our realms. Only I couldn’t do it, not entirely. Because doing so went against my every instinct.” Bash’s hands were shaking. “Eva, I’ve been going out of my mind since I left you in that palace. When I was walking away from you, it felt like my soul was about to rip in two.” He shuddered, and I took his hand. “And I gave you one of the quills my mother created, that I promised her I would only use with my ownanima. Because I think I knew even then we were fated to be together. Even if I hadn’t let myself realize it yet.”

That warring indecision on his face when he had given them to me, the pain in his expression when he left. I didn’t have to second guess the truth of his words. Not when it had been written all over his face.

“And when did you know it was real?”

My voice was so low, I could hardly hear the question leave my mouth. Because hehadleft me, however unknowingly, to that torment with more than an inkling of who I was to him.

“I knew for sure when you dreamwalked to me,” Bash said, his face bleak at the memory. “It wouldn’t have been possible otherwise, not without sharing blood, not with your magic blocked. I still don’t know how the False King managed it with you. But I think I was reaching out too, hoping for a sign you were alright when the messages stopped. I fell asleep watching my palm as if I could will you to reply. And then…” He swore softly under his breath. “When I saw you bleeding and chained to his bed, something inside me snapped.” He closed his eyes, guilt etched in every feature. “I can’t believe I left you with him. I should have known that the need to bring you to him was a lie every moment we were together.”

“If Aviel—” I choked on the name, and Bash held me tighter. “If he’s working with his father, then he would have gotten access to Tobias’s blood around the time the dreams started. A bloodlink to me.” I felt sick at the realization. “And he spread that lie so that anyone who found me would bring me to him without question. It’s not your fault. And I don’t blame you for it, not when I believed it too.”

His face was stark as he replied with a voice full of self-loathing, “But I brought you to him like a lamb to slaughter. My soul bonded, and I thought our connection was a figment of my lonely heart. Leaving you with him felt like I was tearing myself apart and yet I walked away because I thought it was the right thing to do.” He took a trembling breath, and I saw tears in his eyes. “I think I knew, in the moment I left, that I loved you. But I wouldn’t let myself believe there could be anything more than me wanting you, not when so much depended on it. Not when it was the only way to stop the curse. But that pull to you, that thing inside me telling me not to let you go…I can’t believe I was so thoroughly brainwashed into not realizing what it was. What we are to each other.”

“The curse was always a lie,” I said, realizing with a jolt that I hadn’t told any of them that crucial piece yet. “Aviel’s the one destroying our worlds.” I forced myself not to flinch at the name this time and maybe it was Bash’s hand in mine lending me strength, but I didn’t. “It’s the rule of the False King and prince that turned the land against them for their deceit and solving it has nothing to do with finding me. That was merely his way of ensuring that any fae who found me would bring me to him.”

Bash was rarely speechless, but he was now—his mouth falling open in shock.

“Honestly, I’m not sure if any of it’s real,” I said slowly. “What matters is Aviel lied. He was able to trick the people but not the land into thinking he had the divine right to rule.That’swhy he didn’t go through the Choosing, not whatever he said about waiting for me to be found. He knew it wouldn’t work because he’s not the true High King, just like his father wasn’t.”

“Then we need to find out who it should be,” Bash said firmly. “And then, we’ll stop him, together.”

There was nothing but determination on his face, fearless and uncompromising.

“But first…” His hand lifted my chin to bring us eye-to-eye, our lips enticingly close. So close I could taste the woodsy scent of him, the earthiness of the moment before it rained. “I won’t take your choice from you again, but you must know that a bond like this is forever. Once it’s accepted, it cannot be undone.”

My heart thudded so loudly that I thought he might be able to hear its wild rhythm.

“I’ve been broken more than once…and I’m still finding a way to put myself back together. But I need you to trust me to know my own mind. My own heart. And I think I’ve always known it beats for you.”

His chin dipped and then those endless stormy eyes met mine, certainty etched in his features. “I fell for you the moment you stabbed that golem between the eyes.” He gave me that crooked half-grin that made something swoop low in my stomach. “So fearless. So ready to stab me next if I stepped out of line. Even then, I knew something singular had shifted inside me. Something infinite.”

I remembered the way our eyes met in that moment and something indefinable had shattered through me. Reaching up, I cupped his cheek in my hand.

“Tell me something true,” I whispered, echoing the words he had said not so long ago while sharing secrets in the starlight. “Something real. Something you’ve never told anyone.”

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