Page 72 of The Other Side of the Mirror

“It’s not your fault.”

Bash’s mouth twisted, obviously disagreeing. “Marin brought up something for you to eat.”

It was only then that I noticed he sat next to a loaded breakfast tray and realized I was indeed ravenous. Despite my midnight snack, days of being sedated meant I had missed too many meals. I hated how feeble I felt.

Idly, I wondered if Rivan and Yael were already training this morning. Perhaps I would insist on joining them. My body felt so weak from my captivity, from being chained and stationary for days on end. And I hated feeling weak. Hated how my legs trembled and my breathing hitched every time I so much as stood up.

I saw Bash glance down at where the robe brushed my thighs, then shake his head as though clearing it, gesturing toward the bed. I hopped in.

Heat flashed in his eyes when the robe dipped down, but he pointedly looked at the food. I almost smiled at the gentlemanly gesture—as if he hadn’t already seen all of me—as I settled back under the covers. Bash tucked me in methodically before placing the tray on my lap.

My mouth dropped open in surprise when he sat next to me, picked up a forkful of eggs, then placed them directly into my mouth.

I chewed exasperatedly. “I can feed myself,” I mumbled through a mouthful of eggs, giving him a look and holding out my hand. He frowned slightly but relinquished the fork.

“I’m not sure what he gave you to knock you out, but you need to keep your energy up to build back your strength and your reserve of magic.”

That feeling of helplessness, of being stabbed with that syringe over and over again crashed into me, and I stilled with the fork halfway to my mouth. Bash gently took it from me, set it back on the plate, and turned my face to him.

His eyes were hard as they stared into mine. “You’re never going to feel like that again.”

I swallowed past a sudden lump in my throat.

Bash stabbed a piece of melon with a little more force than necessary and popped it into my mouth. I debated taking the offending utensil back again, but I couldn’t remember the last time I was coddled like this. Pampered. Cared for.

I closed my eyes against the burn of tears, but not before one escaped down my cheek. A calloused thumb gently wiped it away before it could get farther than my cheekbone.

“And here I thought your eyes couldn’t get any more golden,” Bash murmured, almost to himself. He raised another bite of eggs, watching my every chew and swallow with an intensity that had my core tightening.

We were both silent as I ate until I waved him off, already too full.

Bash sat there for a long moment; his face unsure as all those invisible words hung between us. Part of me wanted nothing more than to pull his arms around me, lose myself in him like I had last night, and never come back to reality. Instead, I could barely manage to meet his eyes.

He stood abruptly, clearing his throat. “I’ll let you get ready. If you need anything…”

Tearing his eyes away from me, he was gone before I could say another word.

Chapter31

Eva

After a long shower in which I had gotten so distracted by what happened last night that I was fairly sure I washed my hair twice, I found a comfortable looking sea-green sweater dress hanging in the closet and pulled it on. The color brought out my hazel eyes, the golden core striking even against the dark circles underneath them.

And here I thought your eyes couldn’t get more golden.

Bash’s words echoed in my head, but I pushed them away. I could barely manage to think the wordanimaafter so long assuming mine was Aviel, as if it had been tainted by association. Obviously, I had no business accepting that bond yet.

I dug into a drawer and found some cozy-looking long socks. As I put them on, something glinted from the desk that stood under a half-moon window. My heart seemed to spasm when I realized it was my brother’s dagger. Before I was conscious of walking over to it, my fingers brushed against its pommel. One day soon, I would give the blade back to its rightful owner.

Next to it was the pack Alette had given me, and I blinked as I realized she must have returned it to me. It was a kindness I hadn’t expected from her. I turned the pack upside down, and my star amulet I had thought lost fell into my waiting hand.

Carefully, I fastened it around my neck, savoring the familiar feeling of its points digging into my palm. Then I attached my dagger to my hip with a leather waist belt like the one Yael had given me, the original lost somewhere in Morehaven.

No longer content to be alone with my thoughts, I briskly walked out of my room. But when I heard a chorus of voices in what I surmised was the kitchen, I slunk back, unready to face everyone and see the sympathy in their eyes. Not yet, not while my thoughts still swarmed until my chest clenched. Not when the memory of Aviel’s breath on my cheek made me flinch, even at the ghost of it.

Silently creeping back up the spiral staircase, I wandered listlessly through the lodge before spotting two open gilded doors at the end of a hallway. They led into a room so large it could host a ball. Its soaring ceilings were covered in a tasteful brocade pattern, dotted with glass that glistened like beads of dew. A dusty chandelier with golden teardrops still sparkled in the light despite obvious disuse.

But it was the grand piano that made my heart turn sluggishly in my chest.

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