Page 20 of The Other Side of the Mirror

“Were you…in the war?” My words were hesitant, as if unsure I had the right to ask them.

“I was.” Bash cleared his throat. “I was barely past my Seventeenth, after my shadows found me, when I joined the war effort. Celestials tend to be the more powerful of our kind, and I’m no exception.” He said the words matter-of-factly, without a hint of boasting. “The ability to sneak through shadow, to blend into it, or to wrap it around an opponent and blind them, kill them…It made me an ideal spy, the perfect assassin.” Bash’s face darkened. “I don’t like who I had to be, nor what duty demanded I do during those times. But fae battles aren’t like those in the human world. We don’t bother with mortal weapons like guns, since the magic that permeates the air throughout our realm disrupts any form of mortal technology.”

I raised a brow. “Any?”

“Picture an electromagnetic pulse eternally detonating,” Bash said flatly. “Our wars are waged with magic and steel. Though there isn’t much that can hold up against the power of a determined fae warrior, the iron of our swords can repel such magic to a point.”

My mind buzzed at the new information, but I didn’t take my eyes off Bash.

“And so, I used what I had so I could do what I must. But in the dark of the night, the faces of the people I killed haunt me just as often as the people I lost.” His voice sounded far away, and he was quiet for a long moment as though he had slipped into memory.

My hand slid into his before I could think twice about what I was doing. Bash hesitated almost imperceptibly before his fingers curled around mine. “My father spoke of a time of peace under the former High Queen, the one the False King murdered. How he’d fight until his last breath to get that sense of stability once again.” He took a shaky breath, and I gripped his hand more tightly.

“When Imyr fell…” Bash’s voice trailed off. When he found it again, he spoke so quietly I leaned forward. “I was there when the False King sliced my father down, unable to get to him. Only able to watch as those bands of light forced him to the ground before the king’s sword sliced through the air. I screamed, but no one heard me in the midst of battle…and no one was able to stop the False King before he killed him.”

Those spellbinding eyes seemed to stop swirling at the despair on his face.

“Imyr’s downfall was imminent, but our allies arrived with the dawn, and the False King fled through a mirror to Morehaven before he could be entirely defeated. We learned of the prince’s escape and subsequent victory over his father later.” He let out a long breath. “My mother was the sole surviving ruler of Imyr, but she was never the same after losing my father, heranima, and wasted away quickly until she was reunited with him again.”

A lump rose in my throat. The stars blurred and when I blinked, I felt a tear run down my cheek. I wanted to rage against this False King locked away under a mountain for taking both of Bash’s parents. For leaving him and his sister as orphaned as I was. And for his mother, who hadn’t held on for her already grieving children when they needed her. I squeezed Bash’s hand once more and surreptitiously wiped the wetness away on my arm.

“I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t save either of them.”

The pain in Bash’s voice tore through me, his heartbreak lingering thickly in the air between us.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said hoarsely. He nodded without looking at me, his grip tightening on my hand. I waited until my voice was steady before quietly adding, “Thank you for telling me.”

Bash’s eyes were suspiciously bright as he looked up at the stars.

“Tell me something true,” he whispered. “Something real. Something you’ve never told anyone.”

So I offered him one truth in exchange for another.

“I’ve spent the last seven years lying to myself.” I swallowed hard, but something about the look in his eyes gave me the strength to continue. “I let everyone convince me that night was a gas leak. That thereweren’tpeople outside our house, even though I heard their screams when my dad went to fight them off…even though I saw one of them in the doorway with my own eyes. I told myself that Ididn’tfall through that mirror. Instead, I let them convince me I didn’t remember running out of there from the shock of everything. I convinced myself that it was all in my head.” I cringed, but Bash’s intent look didn’t waver. “And I think I might have stayed too scared and too broken to ever find out the truth if that golem hadn’t come for me. I think I would have lied to myself forever if you hadn’t found me.”

“It wasn’t your fault either, you know.”

I shook my head disgustedly. “I should’ve at least tried to help her. Instead, I let my mom get me to safety while I just stood there. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.”

Even now, my heart gave a hollow pang at the three words I hadn’t said. Not until it was far too late, as I wept over an ash-filled grave. I knew Bash had heard the wobble in my voice, had seen the things I left unsaid, because his thumb started stroking the back of my hand.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” he said quietly. “Not when the blame for all this lies solely with the False King.”

“Right back at ya, freckles.”

We were silent for a long while. I saw Bash tense as if about to say something else then stop himself. I hesitated, too, as I lay there, like the words I should have said were just out of reach. Listening as our breathing synced, feeling the warmth of his fingers still threaded through mine. Telling myself I should pull my hand away and yet finding myself unable to do so.

Tonight I had told him things that I had never told anyone, and I couldn’t find it in me to regret that openness, that vulnerability. Not when I was somehow sure he had done the same with me too. With a frown, I realized I had never asked if he was now the king of Imyr, like I suspected. But his breathing had evened out, slow and steady, his eyes fluttering closed.

I watched drowsily as Bash’s shadows drifted around him before slowly wafting toward me down his sleep-limp hand—as if free to explore with their master unconscious.

It had been surprisingly comforting talking to him. Opening up instead of staying in the shadows I had been content to hide in for so long. With a sudden jolt of awareness, I realized it had been because I had felt safe enough to do so. That I felt safe with Bash, in general—something rare in itself since the day my home had caught fire around me and taken my sense of security with it.

My eyes started to close as I watched those tendrils play with my fingertips, gently weaving around them until I finally gave in to the lull of their touch.

Chapter9

Bash

---