Page 9 of Mister President

Ouch.

That physically hurt me.

My heart felt like it squeezed and shrank at the sound of his words.

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I know I cheated on you but—”

“It don’t really matter,” he said quickly. “That’s in the past. What does that have to do with how you’ve been acting lately?”

I waited until we were in the back of his town car to respond. The partition was up, so I felt comfortable having such a personal conversation with his driver being in the car.

“Like I said at my studio, I feel like our time together is coming to an end. So I guess I feel regret,” I finally admitted. “I hate the way things ended between us, and hearing you say you don’t believe I love you or care about you hurts my heart. But I have no one to blame for that but myself. I’m sorry, Elias.”

Elias smiled softly as he cupped my cheek and caressed it with his thumb. “You have nothing to apologize for. I knew you didn’t want anything serious, and I never wanted to change you. I accept you as you are.”

As I am.

As I was.

I wasn’t that same woman anymore.

Too bad it seemed like he wouldn’t get to experience the new me.

“Well, I guess I’m grateful for that. You’re the only man who ever loved and accepted me unconditionally. The only one who never tried to change me. I know you probably didn’t think the mother of your child would be a stripper, huh?”

We shared a quiet laugh as our fingers locked. “I mean…it kind of made sense with how much I love them.” That made me laugh harder. “But for real, though, there’s no one else I’d want as the mother of my son. That’s why I want you to have the rest of my babies.”

“Babies?” I repeated, voice stretched. “What happened to baby?”

He sucked his teeth. “It don’t really matter now since you’ve made it clear that’s not what you want. Not with me anyway.”

“It’s not that I don’t want another baby with you. I just don’t want to feel like that’s all I’m good for with you. If all we do is fuck and have babies, I won’t ever find a man to be in a real relationship with.”

“And that’s something you actually want now? To be in a committed relationship?”

My mouth opened and snapped back shut. For some reason, finally talking to him about this made me nervous. “Y-Yes. It is.”

His head bobbed once as he slipped his hand from mine. “I’m…happy for you then. You deserve it,” was what he said, but his tone was cold. And clipped.

“What if I…What if I want it with you?” I asked, looking out of the window because I was too afraid to see the rejection in his eyes.

Elias released a hard breath. “I thought we were past that, Mandy? We tried and we failed at that. Sex…being coparents… that’s what we do well. Let’s not mess that up, aight?”

Chewing on my cheek, I nodded as I continued to look out of the window. Even with me being aware that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, hearing him actually say it made it real. Officially. It was time for me to let him go.

6

Elias

The Following Monday

I’d beenin a mood since Saturday night. Hearing Amanda say she was finally ready to be in a relationship fucked with me. I wasn’t sure if it was my ego or what, but I was pissed. All these years later and her ass finally wanted to do right after doing me wrong. How was I going to handle watching her be the woman I knew she could have been all along for another man? I couldn’t even entertain her saying she wanted to be with me because that was bullshit.

It wasn’t just her cheating and partying a lot that kept us apart, but it was more so the fact that she didn’t know how to truly be a partner. I knew her upbringing had a lot to do with that, but it was also the fact that she wasn’t willing to try. And I could respect that. We were young, so I didn’t trip over her not wanting to invest in herself or a man. However, the way Neko and I were raised made me a different caliber of man. Our mentalities and values were different.

Even when I was just in a sexual relationship with a woman, I took care of them better than some husbands took care of their wives. The last five years had been spent getting into a routine that worked for us, and I wasn’t willing to get my hopes up and risk fucking things up for one-sided love. I sincerely wanted a complete family with a wife and at least two or three more kids. I had no confidence I could get that from Amanda, regardless of how much I wanted it with her at one time. So if I had to watch her be with someone else, that was even more motivation for me to find my wife.

As I made my way into the office, I decided to call Amanda to warn her in case she got a text or call from the school about EJ. It took a while, but she answered dryly, and I wondered if it was because she was asleep or feeling some type of way about how our night ended too.

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