Page 4 of Mister President

I could admit I didn’t want a committed relationship when we first met. I wasn’t interested in a deep bond with a man, no matter how much I loved him and wanted to be with him. At that point, I was making so much money stripping that I didn’t want a relationship to get in the way of that. Men were possessive, and if they weren’t, their egos would sometimes make it impossible for them to support their woman’s success or witness her be more successful than them. That had been the issue I’d been dealing with until I met Elias. He didn’t care about the money I made or the way I made my money, which was refreshing. He did, however, hate my wild lifestyle, and I could respect that. I didn’t want to change it though.

The only thing that slowed me down was getting pregnant, and after I had our son, I was right back on my bullshit. Looking back on it, I could see why Elias never wanted to take me seriously. I didn’t show him I was down for anything beyond sex and a good time. I also cheated on him a lot. It wasn’t intentional or something I planned, but if I had a customer who paid the right amount for head or pussy, I hardly ever turned it down.

Now that I’d matured a lot, it was easy for me to say I didn’t deserve Elias a decade ago, but that version of me was long gone. Unfortunately, we’d been through so much that he wasn’t interested in trying to be in a relationship with me again. Because of the way I used to be, I had no choice but to accept that. More than anything, I was just grateful we had a good relationship and had a healthy coparenting agreement for our son. If all I could get from him was a random weekend of fun and sex, I would gladly accept that, but my heart wanted more.

For the last couple of years, I yearned for a deeper bond with a man. A connection and attachment that was safe and ours alone. I wanted that bond with Elias, but it seemed like he wasdone with me for real this time since five years had passed since we last tried to be together. While I didn’t regret the things I did in my youth, I did regret the timing that Elias came into my life. A part of me wished we’d met now instead of all those years ago. I wasn’t capable of understanding and appreciating the man he was then, and I craved him and all he had to offer now.

Elias looked so handsome and innocent while he slept. I didn’t want to wake him up. Since I was going to take EJ back to our home and not come back here, I didn’t have a choice.

“Hey,” I whispered against his ear, gripping his arm slightly. “It’s time to wake up, Elias.”

“Mm mm.”

The sight of him shaking his head and not even bothering to open his eyes made me chuckle quietly.

“Elias,” I hummed, grazing his chest. “Wake up, baby. We gotta go.”

With a long breath, he allowed his eyes to flutter open. I tilted his head in my direction and softly caressed his cheek. When his eyes landed on me, I smiled.

“I don’t even remember laying down. How long I been sleep?”

“Like three hours. I’m about to get EJ and head home.”

His hand caressed and squeezed my ass before resting on my waist. Our eyes remained locked for a while before his lowered to my lips. Instead of kissing them, he kissed my nose.

Clearing his throat, Elias nodded as he sat up. “Aight. What y’all gon’ do today?”

“Probably not too much. Mama and Daddy took him to Dave & Busters after church, so he’s probably going to want to just chill before he has to get ready for school.”

“Aight. Y’all need anything? I’m going to take him lunch tomorrow since he’s had a busy weekend, and we didn’t really get to talk.”

That made me smile as he got out of bed. Elias and I alternated weekly with EJ, and our baby boy loved his weekends with his grandparents. When I had him, Elias missed his little man, as he called him. It was really cute. I was glad I had a baby with a man who not only had a healthy childhood but was committed to making sure our son had one as well. Even though Elias and I took advantage of when we didn’t have our son, we both missed him like crazy. I was glad he planned to see him while he was at school tomorrow so I could have my baby all to myself for the rest of today.

“We’re good. You know he’s going to light up when he sees you.”

“I know. I might just get pizzas for his class and turn it into a little party. See if they can watch a movie or something.”

“Ooh, he would love that, E. I’m jealous.”

He chuckled as he slipped his shirt over his head. “Don’t be. I’ll save you some pizza and have him bring it home to you.”

My eyes rolled playfully as I got out of bed. We started to shut down and not talk as much as we prepared to leave, which was what often happened between us. Outside, Elias gave me my usual forehead kiss and helped me into my G-Wagon before we parted ways. I missed him with each step he took away from me. If I had to accept the fact that my wild lifestyle was going to cost me the only man I’d been in love with, I’d learn that hard lesson, but I hoped God showed me a little favor and gave us one last chance.

“Hol’on, lil’ girl. Why you tryna get out of here so fast?” Mama asked as I quickly stuffed EJ’s things into his bag. He moved at a snail’s pace because of all the energy he’d exertedrunning around Dave & Busters. It was one of his favorite places to go and the easiest way to tire him out.

“I just wanted to get my baby home so he could unwind,” was what I said, and it was true, but I also wanted to avoid her asking me about Elias.

My relationship with my parents was weird. Or, at least, my relationship with my mom. She and my father took care of me and made sure I wanted for nothing. They raised me and kept boundaries instilled while I was a child. When I became an adult, things changed. It was like a veil lifted and they exposed me to parts of them I would have preferred to not be privy to. Maybe the best way to describe it was my mother talked to me more like a friend than a parent now.

They stopped taking care of me when I turned eighteen, which was how I started stripping to begin with. When I needed things, they would provide, but I didn’t have the luxury of staying with my parents, going to college, and having that security until I was able to care for myself. They were amazing grandparents just like they were amazing parents when I was a child, but becoming a legal adult changed the dynamic of our relationship. It was like they felt like their job as my parents were over, and now we were all adults who talked and spent time together from time to time. While I wouldn’t complain because it could have been a hell of a lot worse, a part of me wished I still had that parental and child bond we had before I became an adult.

Last week, my best friend’s dad got her car serviced, filled her tank, and took her to lunch. That shit made me cry. I couldn’t remember the last time my father and I spent quality time together alone. He texted me to check in every morning and we saw each other when I dropped EJ off for their weekend with him and every Sunday at church, but that was it. Sometimes theymade me feel like what I wanted was unrealistic, and it only took me being denied of them twice for me to never mention it again.

“Mhm. Let him go in the living room with his granddaddy and wait for you. I wanna talk to you real quick.”

My eyes rolled as I nodded, and I was glad my back was to her, and she couldn’t see me. EJ did, though, and he snickered. I tossed him a wink and smiled before telling him to head out and that I’d be there soon.

“What’s up, Ma?” I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

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