Page 81 of Playboy Billionaire

“I’m not judging you. It’s just…I’m not sure how to help you. I’ve spent a lifetime steering clear of my emotions…avoiding complications…skimming the surface, and now, this is a lot. I’m concerned for your safety, worried about the threats…I must confess that I had my brother hire a P.I. to check out Jack and the film crew…for peace of mind. I found out about Ben and his connection to the Senator, but it didn’t mean anything at the time.”

She bit her lip. “You did that for me?”

“Yeah, I thought you’d be mad.”

“I might have been before, but not now. Listen, it’s important that we act the same with Ben as we did before we found out all of this. Don’t let on that we know anything about him. Graham needs to follow up with his wife first.”

Griffin flinched at the mention of her ex-lover. “It’s a lot to take in Pen. I’m not going to lie to you, I’m not good at this part.”

She tilted her head, frowning. “And what part is that exactly?”

He squirmed under her penetrating stare. “The complicated part…the feelings part.”

A flush crept up her face. “You mean the messy part?”

He ground his jaw. “No, it’s not like that Pen. I don’t know what I mean or how to say it. You’ve been withholding a huge part of your life…like you’ve compartmentalized chunks of yourself and I’m tucked in some neat little corner. I don’t like the feeling. I can’t explain it to you right now.”

“You don’t have to. For the record, I can fill in the blanks. Too much baggage. I get it and I don’t blame you. I tried to warn you in Savannah.” She stood up. “You know all I wanted was for you to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright. Instead all I’m hearing is that it’s too much for you…I’m too much. I get it. I’m truly sorry for that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I won’t burden you any further.”

He reached for her, “Penelope…you’ve got it wrong…I…”

She raised her chin, then held up her hand, “No! Don’t say another word. Listen Griffin, I understand. Who in their right mind would want to have their private lives dragged through the mud? I don’t blame you for pulling back.”

“Pen, please don’t leave. We can get through this. You have to take a leap of faith at some point and trust me.”

Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “I just did and look where that got me.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’m trying to be honest with you and you’re twisting my words into something else. Why are you being so stubborn right now? It’s frustrating as hell. What else can I say?”

“Griffin, there is nothing more to be said and you don’t owe me anything.”

“I get that you’re hurt and scared, but don’t slam the door shut on us.”

“I need some time. Let’s just leave it for now.”

He knew it was pointless to try to get through to her. He needed a minute and she needed some space to process it all. Right now, she was a fortress and she had barricaded herself inside…apparently something she was a pro at. Griffin followed her to the door.What the fuck was happening here? It’s a runaway train.

“I’ll let myself out. Goodbye Griffin. See you on set.”

* * *

Penelope made it to the car before bursting into tears. She pounded the steering wheel with her fists, mentally berating herself for getting involved with him.It cut deep. She could feel his judgement of her from a mile away. An affair with a married man, escorting strange men, blackmail, all her secrets exposed at once. No wonder he had pulled back. She couldn’t blame him, but her heart ached with disappointment.

Later as she tossed and turned in bed, she had a moment of self-doubt. Was she projecting her own shame onto him? Was it fair to keep ignoring Griffin’s calls? She knew she should respond, but she felt like she couldn’t handle anything more. It was all too much. The thought of her past being exposed for the entire world to see was horrifying. To see her reputation being smeared was bad enough, but it was hardly fair to drag Griffin through it. Their relationship was too new and too vulnerable to withstand that kind of assault. She felt horrible for Graham as well. His entire career was about to implode, and she was partially to blame.

Adding to her despair was Griffin’s first response, which had been to withdraw. His gut reaction had been flight…not fight. In her opinion, one’s first reactions were the most honest. That was all she needed to know. It was true that she couldn’t blame him, however she was not willing to be with anyone that didn’t love her, imperfections and all. She also cared enough about him to let him go. Nobody deserved to be dragged through her mess.

37

Penelope’s heart raced when she saw the caller ID number on her phone.Graham.“Hello?”

“Penelope, are you alone?”

“Yes.”

“It’s Graham. How are you?”

“Just finished up filming. Nothing more to report from this end. What did your wife say?”

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