Page 3 of Three Cranky SEALS and a Christmas Menace

The phone in the vehicle that had been ready and waiting for them when they landed at the air base beeped, and Waylan, sitting in the passenger seat, put the call on speaker.

“The motherfucking Goliaths have landed,” Jeff Samson’s face appeared on a screen on the dashboard, and his voice reverberated around them. “But hell, you look like fucking shit. Can’t call you pretty anymore.”

“Fuck you, Samson,” Waylan said. “You never got your ass eaten by a bunch of fucking ants.” He was still annoyed as fuck by that episode, and he brought it up every time he could. It hadn’t been pretty.

Also, it had only been one ant, a bullet ant to be sure, and both Holden and Myles were glad it hadn’t been them on the receiving end of that stinger. Considering the other lethal risks they’d face every second of their time in the jungle, like the Brazilian Wandering spider, for one thing,that they made it out alive at all was a fucking miracle.

“The only time anything is getting near my ass is if my wife is wearing a strap-on,” Jeff laughed.

“I’m sure Tia will pass on your hairy ass in an instant,” Myles said from the back.

“I’ll have you know my ass is no longer hairy. I’m a cultured man now, after eight months of marriage.”

“Ah, you’re just whipped, and Tia dragged you along to get his and her waxes, you mean. You going soft on us, man?” Myles added.

“Did you cry when they ripped the wax off?” Waylan asked with a straight face.

“Like a fucking banshee,” Jeff said and seemed to shift around as if he were reliving the event. “I fucking passed out and thought someone was slapping me with the same sheet of wax they used on my ass, but it was only Tia trying to revive me.” They couldn’t help but laugh.

“Good to have you back on safe ground, gentlemen,” Jeff said seriously. “And job well done.”

They’d grown up together, and the bond between the four of them was unbreakable. Always had been. While Holden, Waylan, and Myles had chosen the military straight after school, Jeff decided he wanted in on the action behind a desk and opened a private contracting company, independently running intel for the government.

To everyone else, he provided home security systems for families all over the world. They preferred to have Jeff as the face of their operations because when they needed strings pulled, Jeff was their man.

“Thanks, man. It’s good to be back,” Holden said as Waylan and Myles chorused his words.

“Agent Willard will be by on Christmas morning at six hundred hours to deliver your package. I had the place cleaned and stocked. Look, there may only be one bed, but the sofas are fucking luxurious. I know, Tia bought us the same ones for our bedroom,” Jeff said.

“After sleeping on damp earth and then on rocks, we’ll take a dry flat floor and a pillow,” Waylan said.

They’d wrapped things up two days earlier than expected and planned to do nothing but sleep until their package arrived on Christmas morning. By package, they meant a thick block of cash for their troubles. While away, they’d taken on a rescue mission on the side and returned a wife to a very high-profile individual who preferred to pay them in cash. They had no problem with that.

“So you have some free time,” Jeff continued. “Want me to send over some choice-grade entertainment? A couple of girls to welcome you home? With the tatas and the hatas?” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Tatas and hatas?” Waylan asked, in mock confusion. “You mean tits and pussy.”

“Yeah, that’s the married version of those words,” Jeff said, scratching his head and turning red. “Tia has me on a tight leash, okay, there. I can’t use those words when referring to other women. You happy now?”

Again, they couldn’t help but laugh. It was clearly obvious Jeff would have it no other way than his wife telling him what to do and say. He was fucking smitten. Something Holden could never understand, but then again, with parents like his… marriage was a no-go zone for him.

Jeff, Waylan, and Myles grew up with a strong and loving father figure and a nurturing and tender mother figure. Holden’s parents stayed married out of spite. They were so self-involved that they barely noticed their son. Also, they’d been too busy cheating on each other as well.

When he turned eleven and they were having just another big shouting match, they both turned to him and told him getting married had been the biggest mistake they’d made; their second biggest mistake was having a child. Holden knew he was nothing like his parents, but also decided he would live the rest of his life alone. It wasn’t worth it otherwise. He was sticking with that vow. As for Waylan and Myles, they were happy to be confirmed bachelors with him all the way.

Except for that one incident that they never spoke about and would haunt them forever.

“I’m so fucking tired I don’t even have the energy to get my dick wet,” Myles said from the back seat, and that was saying something for all of them.

They hadn’t had a woman in six months, but the yearning for some intense decompression superseded the need in their dicks. They’d get around to it eventually, but for now, god help the person who got in the way of their slumber.

Chapter Four

Holden

Holden checked the GPS and was glad they were only ten minutes away from Jeff’s cabin. He could almost feel the pillow under his head.

“I get it, man,” Jeff nodded, understanding their need just to crash. “What can I do to change your mind about coming to the house for Christmas lunch? My mom would love to see you guys; you know that. And it’s Tia’s first year in charge of preparing the lunch. A bottle of Macallan with your names on it?”

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