Page 34 of Controller's Obsession

“That’s right, and see, that’s why we fainted, and that’s why we needed for you to get us back here, so I could tell you. But then you told me about Dakata and Silas and what happened when Wanda got taken. All I could think about was if you’d fought that demon then, in the street with all those people…”

“You were trying to protect me, even when you didn’t know my story, and yes, you did the right thing.” Merihem looked as if he was going to say more. The look between them was so intense, but the timer from the oven went off, and when Merihem turned away, the moment was lost.

The pasta was delicious. Peni particularly liked the way the cheese formed a crusty top, and the vegetables were all cooked just enough to still hold a bit of a crunch. He didn’t mind that Merihem didn’t seem to want to talk as they ate. He figured his mate had a lot on his mind.

Peni was much the same way. After the story Merihem had told him about how he was effectively under a form of punishment from his king, Peni was determined that before Merihem did anything against the demon with the maniacal laugh, he wouldhave to get permission from his king first. It wouldn’t be what Peni would do. It definitely wasn’t anything any shifter would do, especially when it came to protecting a mate, but Peni was going to make sure that Merihem didn’t get himself into any more trouble than he was already in.

“That was truly delicious, thank you.” Peni pushed aside his empty plate with a grateful sigh. “My belly is completely full. You’re an amazing cook.”

Merihem was pleased. It showed in his smile, and the warmth of his eyes.

“I’ll get up and do the dishes in a minute,” Peni promised. “I just want to take a moment and enjoy this food settling in my gut.”

“This house has a dishwasher,” Merihem reminded him. Peni knew that, but he’d never used it. Then Merihem added, “You should know, I heard a lot of what you told Silas earlier today, when you and he went for your walk.”

“You heard all that?” Peni wanted to sink under the table. “Did Dakata hear about it, too?”Oh, my gods, if he did, then I’m never visiting the forest again.

Merihem shook his head. “No. Dakata was focusing on what his blissful one was saying, the same way I was focusing on you. It’s not like we’ve got supersonic hearing. We were eavesdropping so I could check in on you, mentally. You know to make sure you were comfortable being out with someone you’d just met.”

“That’s why you didn’t kick up a fuss when Silas suggested we go out for a walk. You already knew you could monitor me from afar.” Peni rubbed his hands over his face.I have to face this.He looked Merihem in the eyes. “Well, now you know what a mess I am. You’re this virile studly demon, and you got stuck with a nervous… a nervous goat. And what does it say about me when my goat is more sexually adventurous than I am?”

“You have issues.” Merihem shrugged. “I can’t confess to knowing what that feels like, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to laugh at you for it. Except I have to know this. It’s important for us going forward. Has anyone physically or sexually abused you?”

“Only my eyes and my ears, and when I think about it, my nose having to smell all that…” Peni shuddered. “I grew up in a household where sex was something my father did every single day. He never cared who saw him. He and his many partners would go at it in the living room, in the kitchen. No surface was ever clean. And when I got older, he thought I’d join in. Him and his friends, male and female. They used to laugh at me when I just wanted to hide in my room.”

Looking down at the clean counter, Peni ran his finger across it. “That’s why I enjoy working here. It’s quiet, peaceful and clean. Mr. Dakata never brought partners home, he was barely ever here.”

“But that’s not the only reason you’re not a fan of sex, though, is it? Because it dirties up the countertops.”

“And the living room couches, chairs, the dining room table—my dad’s spunk was everywhere. I had to go outside just to get away from the smell.” Peni sighed and then said in a quiet voice. “No, that’s not all that bothered me. It was the acts themselves. Everything I saw. No one seemed to care about each other. It was all rough, with a lot of yelling, and shoving, and slapping skin, and hair pulling. My dad’s partners seemed to enjoy it. They were always laughing afterward. But none of them cared about each other—not my father, his friends, or the people they were playing with. Surely, if someone wants to get naked with someone else, then shouldn’t they care about each other first?”

“I’m probably not the right person to ask. I like being naked because I can’t stand how clothes feel on my skin. Cloth chaffs my bits and makes me feel restricted, and that’s in either form.”

“That’s not going to get you out of wearing pants when we’re out of the house.” Peni shook his finger at his mate. “Get some harem pants or something similar, so your balls bob about with gay abandon if you have to. But if people can’t see me naked, then they can’t see you with no clothes on either.”

“I will do my best to remember.” Reaching across, Merihem took his hand. “I’m also not the best person to talk to when it comes to caring for the people I’ve had sex with in the past, but I know I care deeply about you already. What I know is that there are so many ways two people who do care for each other can get off with each other—it can be a truly pleasurable experience with none of the penetration or hair pulling that you witnessed.”

Frowning, Peni asked. “You mean you don’t want to penetrate me?”Perhaps I have gotten this all wrong.Except no. Merihem was shaking his head.

“I want that, yes. More than you could ever know. But it would be no fun for me if you weren’t ready, if you were doing something because you thought you had to, just to make me happy. The thing is we could start small, get used to being naked together and find a way that brings us both an orgasm without anything too intrusive. It could be on a bed… or the kitchen counter, if you prefer.”

“Not the counter.” Peni shook his head wildly. “I just mentioned that to Silas because I would relax better if it were clean before, you know, we did anything else.”

“I can arrange that.” Grinning widely, Merihem got up and stacked the dishes they’d used all along one arm and took them over to the kitchen bench. “Can I just stack them in the sink for now, or do I have to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher?”

It was in that moment that Peni lost his heart to his demon. No one had ever wanted to clean for him before. While he knew he wasn’t ready for the heavy sex stuff he’d seen growing up, Merihem was really easy to look at naked.I hope he thinks the same about me,Peni thought as he said boldly, “I’ll do the dishes later. I’m not promising anything, but maybe as it’s getting late, we could try this bed stuff.”

Chapter Nineteen

Merihem

The urge to jump up and fist pump the air at those few little words that made everything inside Merihem fire with passion was hard to resist. Instead, he nodded like a gentleman would and finished what he was doing.

He wiped his hands on a cloth, laid it on the sink in the right place, and walked over to Peni. He eyed his courageous goat and slipped his arms around him to lift him off the seat. Eyeball to eyeball, he made a promise. “I’ll do whatever you want and stop the second you say no.” His nose wrinkled, and Merihem kissed the tip. “I promise. If it isn’t working for you, just say so. I won’t be mad or upset.”

Peni searched his gaze. “You mean it?”

“Absolutely.”

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