Page 62 of Knot That Delicate

Dr. Sarah gave me a long, pensive look. "If I’m honest, you probably wouldn’t have survived it. Omegas need alphas to get through their heat, or at the very least, they need to be heavily sedated. One single beta—especially one like Alec, who soundslike he was rather inept—wouldn’t have been able to see you through it. It would’ve been agony, and given the state you were in at the time, if the reports from this pack member, what’s his name…” She looked down at her paperwork. “Asher, were correct, you were in a severe state of malnutrition and your body was severely undernourished. You wouldn’t have been able to cope with the pain of going through your heat alone. So, I think your body did what it could to protect you."

I nodded. "And then, once I was with the guys in the cabin, things were different. I felt safe. They made me a nest out of anything they could find. They didn’t have real nesting materials, so I ended up with a few of their shirts. Well, they didn’t exactlygiveme their shirts—I might’ve kinda stolen them. But they gave me every blanket they could find and every spare piece of bedding. It was a chaotic, makeshift nest, but I loved it because, for the first time in a long time, it wasmine.They wouldn’t go near it without my permission, and it was my space.

“My instincts began to come back, but it started slow, and then I suddenly wanted human contact. I hadn’t wanted human contact in years—I would’ve rather jumped off a cliff than let Alec touch me—but when I was with them, it was like I craved it. My skin itched with the need to have cuddles, and they were really sweet about it. Even Dylan, who was not my biggest fan at that point, would cuddle me, just so I felt okay. From there, it just kept developing. I didn’t know what to expect in a heat. I had never had a heat, so I didn't notice the warning signs. And I wasn’t exactly letting the guys know what was going on with me, because I didn’t want to bother them. They were being so caring and so sweet, and I didn’t want to let them think I was getting sick or something, so the small warning signs were missed. Then it all came on so fast. In the blink of an eye, I was deep in a heat."

"And how did your guys react to that?" Dr. Sarah asked.

"They debated for a while, trying to decide what was the right thing to do. I was simply there, in pain, writhing, begging to be knotted while they discussed if it was right to even help or whether it would be worse not to. They were so confused. Bless them. Ultimately, they wanted what was best for me, and I made itveryclear, in no uncertain terms, that if they didn’t knot me, I was going to go postal.”

Dr. Sarah chuckled. "Omegas have a lot of power over alphas. They may not fully know about it, or understand it, but the cry of an omega is a powerful thing against an alpha. I’m surprised they held out at all, especially when you were begging for it."

"Yeah," I admitted, "I realised that pretty fast."

"And how do you feel about not talking to them for the entire year? Heats are a powerful thing, they connect people."

I cocked my head to the side. "I don’t like it. If I’m honest, part of me doesn’t understand why I shouldn’t haveanycontact with them. What’s the harm in messaging each other? What's the harm in having a few conversations? I want to know how Asher’s strawberry garden grows."

She nodded. "The year of silence is so you can take the time to really see what’s out there. Do you think you’d entertain the idea of any other life while you were still talking to them? Honestly, knowing yourself? I’ve only known you for a short amount of time, Juniper, but I get the distinct impression you can be rather stubborn when you want to be."

I smirked. "I can be stubborn, and I do get it, to a point. I just don’tlikeit."

"How about this?" Dr. Sarah said. "Give it a few months. If you actually start integrating into life here, and you start talking to people, maybe even other alphas— seeing what is out there—I’ll recommend that you guys have a call or a letter or some kind of check-in contact. How does that sound?"

I gawked at her. "You’d allow that?"

"You seem pretty stable, and you do seem to understand what is happening. So, as long as you are making a conscious effort, and you actually want to try this, I don’t see the harm. You have been completely honest with me about the nightmares and about everything you have been through. Honest and open communication—that’s the key to everything," she said with a smile.

I snorted. "If only my brother would understand that."

Dr. Sarah smirked. "I think your brother could only take so much conversation about your sex life before his head implodes. He has been messaging me nonstop, asking if you’re okay."

I gawked. "Are you kidding me?"

She shook her head. "Nope. But don’t worry; I haven’t told him a single thing. You're my client, and that means everything you say to me remains confidential.. There is no way in hell I’d never tell an alpha what an omega’s admitted in our sessions, but you’ve got to give him props for trying. He’s concerned."

I laughed. "I know he’s concerned. I love him dearly, and I look forward to—one day—when I’m out and about in the world and I have my pack, going and spending the holidays with him and his pack. I bet there is only a certain amount of time until Lavender’s going to be knocked up. Those guys love each other far too much, so I can definitely see them having a baby soon, and I want to be the best auntie I can be. Despite everything horrible I’ve been through, life is really looking up, and I’m excited about it."

Dr. Sarah gave me a warm smile. "And that’s what matters."

It had been six months since we'd seen Juniper—six long months since the day we dropped her off at the Haven and said goodbye to her. That day had been one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. Since then, we hadn’t heard much from her at all. In the first few weeks, we got the odd message from the Haven, letting us know she was settling in well, she was sleeping, and doing okay. But those messages petered off after a while, until, eventually, we were receiving no news. The last thing we wanted to do was push and seem aggressive or angry, so we let them take a step back. I wasn’t sure if that was because Juniper wanted that or if it was what the Haven wanted. Either way, we had to sit down, shut up, and respect it.

We had come back to the city and resumed our jobs; only, something hadn’t felt right. Our apartment, which had once felt like home, was too quiet and, considering we went to the cabin to escape the city’s noise, to have our apartment seem quiet and empty and almost sterile was a shock to all of us.

We were no longer comfortable there. There weren't enough blankets dotted across the sofa, there weren't freshly baked goods sitting on the counter, filling the place with their delicious smell. Most noticeably and importantly, there was a distinct lack of strawberry scent in the air. It was just us—just the alphas—and it was nowhere near enough.

We had gotten used to that sweet, decadent strawberry smell, and we missed it deeply. We’d known pretty quickly we couldn’t stay there; it just didn’t feel right anymore.

So, that was how we found ourselves in possibly one of the most expensive buildings in the city, to view an apartment.

“This place is insane,” Asher said as we stepped out of the taxi.

I nodded, looking up at the several-story building. It was definitely fancy—far fancier than anywhere we’d lived before. The entrance to the building consisted of a revolving door and two large double doors, but each entrance was manned by a doorman and an armed security guard.

When we had done some internet research, we’d found this building—the Carson Building—renowned as one of the best places for omegas to live. Though, we didn’t admit it when we were looking for a new building. None of us were saying what we were really thinking, that we desperately wanted Juniper to pick us and hoped that, one day, she’d come live here with us. We were pretending to ourselves that we just needed a nicer place, we deserved it.

“Hey, we’ve got an appointment to view an apartment,” I said to the guard as I walked up the concrete path to the front door.

He gave me a quick once-over. “Name?”

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