Page 24 of A Wish for Us

After nearly falling asleep, I checked the clock. There were only ten minutes left. I watched the clock as the minutes counted down. My phone buzzed on my desk. My stomach rolled when I read who the text was from.

Bonnie: Can we meet after class?

My heart kicked into a sprint. I looked at her a few rows down. But she didn’t look back. I knew I shouldn’t go. What the hell would I say? And if she even mentioned Friday night, I’d have to get the hell up and leave. There was nothing to be said. I was drunk. That was all it was. That’s the story I was sticking to.

I didn’t want to talk about it. I couldn’t.

I lifted my phone to type that I couldn’t make it. But instead, I found myself sayingYeah.

“One-on-one sessions start this week,” Lewis said, pulling my attention back to him. He pointed at the wall. “Sign-up times are on the wall. Fill it out before you leave.” I tried to calm my pulse, but it wouldn’t slow down at the thought of having to face Bonnie.

The students rushed forward to fill out the times. I stayed in my seat, gathering my things slowly. Bonnie was down at the front with Bryce. “Come meet me for coffee one night, Bonn,” he said. For some reason a damn fire burst to life in my chest at him asking Bonnie out.

Bonnie tucked her hair behind her ear and moved to the sign-up sheet. She filled it out, then turned back to Bryce. “I…I’m not sure,” she stuttered.

He caught her hand in his, and I just about combusted. She looked down at his fingers on hers, and I froze, wondering what she would do. “Come on, Bonn. I’ve been asking you since last year.”

She smiled up at him, and the sappy look on Bryce’s face really pissed me off. “Farraday,” I said, without thought. Bonnie looked up at me in surprise. “I don’t have all day. If you want to meet now, let’s go.” I flashed a look to Bryce. “I don’t want to have to watch you turn him down.”

Bonnie flushed. Bryce looked like he wanted to murder me. I’d welcome him trying. Bonnie pulled her hand away from Bryce. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Bryce.” I heard a small shake in her voice. The way she glanced up at me nervously, I knew she didn’t know what the hell to say about Friday night either.

Bryce nodded his head then headed for the door, but not without giving me a dirty look first. Arsehole. Bonnie got in front of me. “Cromwell, you don’t have to speak to him that way.”

My nostrils flared. I didn’t like how she was protecting him. Did she like him? Was that why? “You wanted to meet.” I pointed at the folder she was holding, clearly labeled with “Composition Project.” I ran my hand through my hair. “He was holding us up.”

Bonnie took in a deep breath, but then she really looked at me. Her brown eyes were wide, and I saw sympathy flare in them. Embarrassment took me in its hold. I thrust my hand in my pocket and pulled out my packet of cigarettes. “I’m going for a smoke. I’ll be outside.”

I slipped my headphones over my ears and burst out the door. I was halfway through my cigarette when—Stacey? Sonya?—some girl I’d shagged last week came up to me. “Hey, Cromwell. What are you up to?” Her voice was dripping with invitation.

I took another inhale and blew out the smoke. Bonnie chose that moment to come out of the door. “Hey, Suzy,” she said, then looked at me. “Are we going?” Bonnie’s eyes dropped in unease, and the sight made my stomach fall.

I shrugged at Suzy. “Got plans.”

I finished off my smoke then followed Bonnie to her car. I assumed we were going to the coffee shop. Bonnie seemed to live there. When the door shut, I tensed. I didn’t want her to mention the other night. I prayed that she wouldn’t.

Before she started the car. Bonnie stared out of the window. “Cromwell…”

I was about to snap at her. To tell her to get lost like I did to anyone who challenged me on what I was feeling. But when her brown eyes fixed on me and I saw the concern on her face, all the fight drained away. “Don’t…” I whispered, my voice sounding way too loud in the quiet car. “Please…just leave it alone.”

Bonnie’s eyes shimmered. She nodded. Her hands fell to the wheel, but before she pulled out of the parking spot, she said, “Just tell me you’re okay.” She didn’t look at me. She kept her attention straight ahead. “I just need to know you’re okay.”

My leg bounced as her words cut through me. Because she sounded like she meant it. The crack in her voice…the shade of lavender that surrounded her told me she meant every word. “Yeah,” I said, and her shoulders relaxed. The truth was, I was anything but okay. But that tether inside of me that kept everyone away pulled tight, straining on my throat to keep it the hell shut.

It was on the tightest leash whenever I was around Bonnie.

She smiled, and the leash momentarily slackened. But as she pulled out of the campus in silence, it gradually brought me back to heel.

When we arrived at Jefferson Coffee, we sat at what was looking more and more like Bonnie’s usual table. Sam, the guy from before, came with the drinks. “I assumed it was the same as before,” he said, pouring me a strong black coffee.

When he walked away, I looked at Bonnie across the table. She had been staring at me. Ducking her eyes, she got out her folder. She opened it and put a sheet of music before me. She seemed embarrassed. “I…I had some thoughts on the beginning of the composition. I’ve had this in my head for a while.” She nervously took a sip of her coffee. “I know we don’t have a theme or anything yet, but I thought I’d show you this.”

I glanced down at the music and read it. My eyes scanned the notes. I didn’t say anything.

“You hate it.”

I lifted my eyes to Bonnie. I didn’t hate it. It was just…nothing special. The colors didn’t flow. Like if you saw a generic painting hanging on a wall somewhere. It was good but nothing life-changing.

I decided not to speak at all. If I did, I’d only upset her. My jaw clenched in annoyance when I realized I didn’t want to see her upset. The girl was messing with my head.

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