Page 115 of A Wish for Us

Cromwell tensed. He pulled back and placed his hands on my cheeks. “I’ve been thinking about things. I’ve had a long time to think about things.” I stared up at the stars. As I looked at the vast sky, I felt so small. A simple stitch on the tapestry that was the world. I swallowed the lump that bobbed in my throat. “Life is so short, isn’t it?”

I turned back to Cromwell. His blue eyes were wide as he patiently waited for what I had to say. “I’ve had nothing else to do but think of life, Cromwell. Every facet of it. The good.” I kissed his forehead. “The bad.” Discovering Easton had died replayed in my head. “And all that’s in between.” I lay back against Cromwell’s hard chest. His shirt was open at the top, showing his dark tattoos. My hand reached out to play with one of his buttons. “And I’ve decided I want tolive.”

Cromwell held me tighter. I looked up into his deep blue eyes, eyes that I once thought turbulent but now thought serene. “I don’t want life to pass me by.” A sudden picture came to mind. Of me and Cromwell. Of us traveling the world…of us one day perhaps having a dark-haired, blue-eyed child. Just like him. “I want to embrace everything I can while I still can. New places, new sounds…everything. Withyou.”

“Bonnie,” Cromwell rasped.

I took hold of his hand and lifted it so I could see the tattooed ID on his fingers. The one I now knew was a tribute to his dad. “Losing people you love can make the world seem very dark. But I’ve realized that even though they’re gone from us physically, they’re never truly gone.” I shook my head. I knew I was rambling. I met Cromwell’s eyes. “I love you, Cromwell Dean. And I want to love life with you in it. I don’t care where it takes us, as long as it means something. As long as our lives have purpose for those who couldn’t be with us along the way.”

Cromwell’s eyes glistened as I kissed the number on his hand. “And as long as there’s you, and there’s music, I know it will be a lifelived, no matter how long or short.”

“Long,” Cromwell said, his voice husky. “You’ll live alonglife. Easton’s heart will remain strong for you.” Cromwell lowered his head and kissed the spot where my new heart lay. It fluttered like a butterfly’s wings.

Cromwell kissed me again, and I stared back up at the stars, content to just be. This boy, who was holding me in his arms, was my wish come true. The boy who had stood beside me through the hardest trials of my life. And the boy who, when I fell apart, had brought me back to me, brought me back to him.

Through music.

Through love.

And through the colors of his soul.

He was, and forever would be, the beat in my heart.

Put simply, he was my entire world. A world in which I intended to stay. I vowed to make it. To never let my heart give up. Because I wanted a life with this boy. I wanted to love and live and laugh.

I was determined. And my beating heart echoed that wish.

Epilogue

Cromwell

Five years later…

The sun beamed down on me as I sat on the bench. I closed my eyes and looked up. Warmth spread on my cheeks, and I heard mustard yellows and bronzes. Birds singing and leaves rustling.

Then they came, the notes that always filtered into my brain the brightest. Colors bursting into complex patterns. I opened my eyes and scribbled them down in my notebook.

“Easton!” Violet blue burst into my head as Bonnie’s voice carried over the wind. I looked up and saw pink as Bonnie’s laugh followed behind. Bonnie came jogging around the tree, her cheeks flushed. She lurched forward, and a yellow-colored giggle burst from behind her.

I smiled as our son, Easton, jumped out from the tree and grabbed her legs. Bonnie turned and scooped him in her arms. She threw him up in the air, and his giggle turned from pale yellow to a shade bright enough to rival the sun.

Bonnie and I had a child. I still couldn’t believe it. We married straight after college, and Bonnie came around the world with me wherever I played. After the gala, we were never apart again. Not even for a night. I wasn’t ever letting her go.

With her heart, we were never guaranteed time. But we’d gotten this far. And her heart was strong. I knew in my soul that Bonnie would live a long life. And when a miracle happened and baby Easton was born, I knew she wouldn’t ever be leaving us behind.

Farraday was going to defy the odds.

Because this was it. This was the life she had wished for. It was her dream. To be a wife and a mother. And she was perfect at both. My heart melted when I heard Bonnie start to sing. Violet blue danced into my mind. I couldn’t take my eyes from her as she sang to our boy, him looking at her like she was his entire world.

And she was. To us both.

Violet blues and whites and pinks played a lullaby in my head. When she was finished, Easton turned to me, smiling wide, dimples out, and said, “Papa! Mama sings as blue as the sky.”

My heart swelled as Bonnie laughed and kissed his cheek. Because Easton was like me, in both looks and soul. He was like his Grandad Lewis too, who he loved beyond words. Bonnie put Easton down and he ran to me. I scooped him up in my arms and kissed his chubby cheek. Easton giggled, the sound the most vivid of yellows.

Easton sat on my lap on the bench. Bonnie walked past her brother’s grave and ran her hand over the headstone. We came here often, Bonnie unable to be away from her brother for long. Even in death, they were tethered to one another. Their shared heart still beating strong.

And like she’d once told him—she was determined to live a life for them both. And she did. With every breath, she did. She was happy. And because of her, so was I.

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