Page 104 of A Wish for Us

My best friend, gone.

The girl who held my heart, fighting for her life.

And me, helpless to do anything to fix it.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Cromwell

I stood, staring at her through the glass window. She had a ventilator in again and chest drains that took the fluid from her body. But I had hope again in my heart.

Because she’d survived the operation. And so far, the doctor told us, it was a success. But as I stared at her face, her closed eyes that today the doctor told us should open, I knew it wasn’t that easy. Because today she had to wake up and be told that the heart that had so seamlessly melded to her body was that of her best friend, her twin…Easton.

I ran my hands down my face and turned to see Bonnie’s parents on the sofa. They were holding hands, but their faces were vacant and destroyed. Everything had happened so quickly. Too quickly, so everything was just hitting them now. They’d cried when they’d seen Bonnie brought back from surgery, but they hadn’t spoken much.

I had no idea what to say.

I looked at the spot beside me. Where Easton normally stood. My chest constricted as I thought of him. As I thought back to the first day when Easton had taken me under his wing. As he paraded us through campus, larger than life. His vibrant paintings that over time had dimmed to darkness. And the colors that had surrounded him, the bright colors that had muted to grays and blacks.

Guilt swam strong in my veins. Because I’d seen the colors fade. But I thought it was because of his sister.

The police had come by. They had ruled Easton’s death a suicide, which we knew. And they’d brought a letter. A letter they had found in his truck,addressed to Bonnie. Mrs. Farraday was clutching that letter as if it would somehow bring her son back.

I walked out of the hospital and pulled out my smokes. As I brought one to my mouth, I suddenly stopped. I glanced up at the sunny sky, at the birds singing mustard yellow and the leaves rustling bronze, and threw the cigarette to the ground. Then I walked to the bin and threw the whole pack away.

I slumped on a nearby bench and everything hit me. Emotions built so high within me that they choked me. I wanted to run to the music room and pour it all out. But that made me think of Lewis, and I had to push that anger back down or it would destroy me too.

Patterns of music appeared in my head when I thought back to the first time I played the piano, when the colors showed me the way. I heard violins play pizzicato, heard a flute come in next. Then the piano would lead, telling the story of a musician born. Of a father sitting beside him, spurring him on. I saw my father fade in a solo cello. I squeezed my eyes shut. Then the story continued.

A hand squeezed my shoulder. I started and looked up. “She’s awake,” Mr. Farraday said.

I swallowed. “Does she know?”

He shook his head. “She comes off the ventilator tonight.” He nodded, showing a strength I admired. “She’ll know soon enough.”

I got to my feet and followed Mr. Farraday down the corridor to Bonnie’s room in intensive care. I washed my hands and stepped through the door. Bonnie’s brown eyes landed on mine. She had a tube down her throat, hiding her lips, but I saw the smile in her eyes.

She’d kept her promise. She’d made it.

“Hey, baby.” Taking hold of her fingers, I leaned close and kissed her forehead. My lips shook, hating that I had knowledge of something that would destroy her. Bonnie’s hands tightened in mine. I closed my eyes and fought back the tears that threatened to fall. “You were so brave, baby,” I said and sat beside her. A tear fell from the corner of her eye.

Her eyes started to close. Tiredness pulling her under. I stayed beside her as long as I could. I waited in the waiting room as her mum and dad visitedwith her too. Then, when night fell, the doctor made us all wait outside as they took her off the ventilator. When the doctor came back through to get us, I felt a damn canon explode in my chest. I followed her parents to the room. Bonnie’s mum ran over to her and gently held her in her arms. Her father followed, and I hung back.

When they moved aside, Bonnie smiled at me. She was covered in machines again, but her smile was huge. I came close, then kissed her on the mouth. Her breathing hitched. “I love you,” I whispered.

Bonnie mouthed it back. Her eyes lifted to the room again. My heart plummeted. I knew who she was looking for. Her eyebrows pulled down and she blinked, the question clear in her eyes.

Where is Easton?

Her dad stepped forward. “He couldn’t be here, sweetheart.” He was trying to shield his sadness from her, but it wasn’t working. Bonnie watched him like a hawk. Mr. Farraday stroked her hair back from her face. But Bonnie looked at her mum slowly falling apart on the chair beside her. Then she looked to me, and her bottom lip trembled. My hands clenched into fists at my side. I felt useless, unable to keep her from feeling what I knew she was about to feel.

“Easton?” she said, her voice croaky from the tube. Water brimmed in her eyes. “Where…is he?” I dropped my eyes, unable to watch this unfold. I tried to breathe, but the boulder in my chest wouldn’t let me. “Hurt?” she managed to ask.

Her mum sobbed, unable to keep it held back. Then I looked up and saw that Bonnie was looking at me. I had to go to her. My legs carried me forward and I took her hand.

Mr. Farraday stood. “There was an accident, sweetheart.” His voice broke on the last part.

Her hand shook in mine. “No.” The tears that had been brimming in her eyes tipped over her lashes and fell down her cheeks. And I watched as her free hand slid from her mum’s and painstakingly slowly made its way to her chest. She closed her eyes over her new heart, and her entire body started to shake. Tear after tear fled down her cheeks and onto her pillow.

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