Page 100 of A Wish for Us

“Promise me…” I was breathless, the short request taking so much out of me that I already felt exhausted. Cromwell’s jaw clenched and he looked away. “He is fragile…but he is stronger…than he knows.”

Cromwell’s nose flared. He refused to look at me. I lifted my hand and steered his face toward mine.

“Don’t,” he whispered brokenly. His lashes grew wet with the start of tears. “I can’t…I can’t lose you too.”

I rolled my lips to stop myself from falling apart. “You…you won’t lose me.” I laid my hand on his heart. “Not in here.” Cromwell ducked his head. “Just like your father isn’t gone either.” I believed that now. I believed that when someone is so imbedded in your heart, your soul, they never truly leave.

A strange look passed over Cromwell’s face; then he tucked his head into my neck. I felt the tears pour. So I wrapped my arm around his back and held him close. I stared at the keyboard and violin and knew that he would create music that would change the world. I was as sure of it as I was sure the sun would rise each day. It was the biggest sadness I held. That I wouldn’t be beside him to hear it. To watch him perform at sold-out theaters. To see him on podiums, bringing people to their feet.

When Cromwell raised his head, I whispered, “Promise me… Look after him.”

Cromwell, eyes red and cheeks flushed, nodded his head. A weight I didn’t know I carried lifted from my shoulders. “And compose.” Cromwell stilled. I tapped my hand on his chest. “Don’t lose your passion again.”

“You brought it back to me.”

His words were heaven to my ears. I smiled, and I saw the love in Cromwell’s eyes. “My bag…” His eyebrows pulled down in confusion. “A notebook…in my bag.”

Cromwell found the notebook. He went to hand it to me, but I pushed it back at him. “For you.”

He looked even more confused. I motioned for him to lie back down. He did, settling beside me. “My words…” I said. Realization spread on his face.

“Your songs?”

I nodded. “The one at the end.” Cromwell ran his eyes over the book filled with my thoughts and dreams and wishes. And I just watched him. I realized I could have watched him for an eternity and never grown tired of it.

I knew when he had reached the last page. I saw his eyes raking first over the words, and then the notes. He didn’t say anything, but the shine in his eyes and the words that never came told me enough.

“For…us,” I explained and kissed the back of his hand. Cromwell watched everything I did, as if he didn’t want to miss a single movement I made. A gesture I gave. A word I spoke. I pointed at my old guitar. “I wanted to sing it for you…but I lost my breath before I could.” It was my biggest regret, that I hadn’t written this sooner. Clara had helped me. She had written down the words, and I had shown her how to draw the notes.

I wanted to sing this for him someday when I was better. But now…at least he had it now.

“Bonnie.” He ran his fingers down the page as though he had been handed the original score of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony to keep.

“You can imagine the music in your head,” I said, pointing to the simple notes that made up its composition. Nothing fancy. Nothing hard. Just my words and the chords that made me think of him.

“‘A Wish for Us,’” he said, reading the title aloud.

“Mmm.”

Cromwell got off the bed and reached for my guitar. My heart kicked to life when he brought it to the edge of the bed. He placed my notebook on the side table and placed his fingers on the neck of the guitar.

I held my breath for a second, waiting for him to play. And when he did,I knew it would sing to my soul like his playing always did. I knew he would play the music as well as anyone ever could.

But I never expected his voice. I never expected the pitch-perfect, graveled tone of his singing voice to bring life to my words. I tried to breathe, but the beauty of his voice held any air I could have taken in captive. As I stared at this tattooed and pierced boy with a heart of gold, I wondered how I had been so lucky to have gotten this, at the end. I had made many wishes in my life, but Cromwell had been the wish that I never made. In the end, it was the one I cherished most.

Heart cold and alone, until it heard your song,

No symphony, no choir, not all notes, just one.

With a beat so loud, you brought rhythm to life,

With love so pure, you turned dark into light.

For every breath I lost, I gained a smile;

I gave it all, just to sit with you awhile.

As the end grows near, I savor each kiss;

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