Page 62 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

Savannah shuffled closer to me, resting her head on my bicep, and I could breathe a little easier. “I feel like I still haven’t moved. I’m still in that asphalt, watching the world exist around me, while I don’t live any of it.”

“What about your parents?” Savannah’s voice was careful. It was obviousI had pushed them away. A flicker of shame cut through me. Leo talked to them. Not me, and guilt assaulted me. They had lost one son. I knew they were just trying to help, but I’d just been so angry. I’d been taking it all out on them for so long.

“They’ve tried to move on,” I said. I dropped my head to rest on the top of Savannah’s. “They’ve returned to work. Christ, Savannah, they aretrying.” My voice stuttered when I said, “I’ve been a terrible son.”

Savannah’s head whipped up, determination in her eyes. “You have not!” she said firmly. “You are hurting, Cael. You are grieving. You are struggling. That does not make youbad.”

I couldn’t help but smile through the pain at my pint-size girl coming to my defense. And she did it with the force of a hurricane.

“What?” she asked, questioning my smile.

I cupped her cheek, heart swelling as she nuzzled into it, eyes closing at the touch. She was so soft under me yet had the tenacity of a shark. I didn’t think she saw that in herself. She thought herself weak. I had never met anyone stronger.

“You’re carrying me through,” I said quietly, almost nonexistent.

Savannah tilted her head to me, and the love I saw in her eyes would stay with me for a lifetime. I wasn’t sure anyone had ever seen me the way Savannah saw me. I’d never loved anyone like the way I was so consumed by her and everything she was and stood for.

Savannah had spent months and months searching for a miracle to save her sister. I had been given one when I’d least expected it. I had been givenher.Maybe the universe knew we needed each other in order to survive. Maybe it knew that we had both lost and were hurting, so it sent our souls’ other halves to make us somehow more whole.

I was sure Savannah would tell me it was Cillian and Poppy conspiring from their place among the stars.

“I love you,” I said and kissed her again. How could I not?

Savannah kissed me back. “I love you too, Cael Woods.” Savannah sat closer still. It wasn’t close enough. I reached over and lifted her until she sat on my lap. She laughed and it was like hearing happiness. Then I kissed her. I kissed her until my lips felt bruised and we’d run out of breath.

When we finally broke away, a flush had coated Savannah’s smooth cheeks—it was my new favorite color. Her smile faded and she stroked her finger down my jaw. “Your grief does not make you a bad person. The way you process it does not make you weak. I need you to know that.”

“Okay,” I said and held on tightly to her waist. Her sincerity made me want to believe that, so bad.

Savannah stared down at the woman who was still at the bottom of the stairs, her loved one’s picture held tightly to her chest. She was lost in prayer. A place like Varanasi held a spirituality that was almost tangible. Magical, even.

“There is fear in grief,” Savannah suddenly said. I refocused on my girl. “For me, it’s a fear that Poppy didn’t move on to a better place like she believed. Fear that the world is too foreign with her gone. And my biggest fear …” Savannah’s voice wobbled. “My biggest fear is that I somehow become happy without her here.” She turned to meet my eyes. “Because how could I ever be happy again with her gone?”

Savannah swallowed, then pressed her forehead to mine. “But I have found you and you make me so immeasurably happy.” A tear fell down her cheek, passing onto mine like they shared the same track. “I have found happiness with you. Without Poppy being in my life. What I once thought was impossible. It’s making me question everything I ever let myself believe.” She moved back and blinked. “And the worst part is, she would have loved you, and she’ll never get to meet you.”

I hated seeing Savannah cry. It destroyed me. But I felt a little more pain lift in my heart when I thought of Cillian. “Cill would have loved you too,” I whispered, the pain of that like a dagger to the heart.

But the smile that remark inspired in Savannah was like finally seeing the sun after an eternity of darkness.

Savannah wrapped her arms around me and laid her cheek against my chest. I held her right back, even closer when I realized she had drifted to sleep. I thought of the first time I’d met her in the airport. I had felt something for her even then, even through my heavy shield of anger. Some spark of recognition—my soul waking from a long slumbering sleep.

I kissed the top of Savannah’s head as I relayed every part of our trip sofar. The Lake District, the endless climbing, the group sessions, the disastrous one-on-ones, but Savannah being there for me through it all, a complete stranger. Norway, the northern lights, the beach, the kiss we’d first shared. And Savannah, day by day, merging her heart with mine. Souls melting until we were one blurred-out form. Holding one another up when the other was falling.

The scent of cherry and almond cut through the smells of sugar and spices. Savannah’s soft hair pressed against my cheek as I laid my head on the top of hers. She moved in my arms and blinked as she took in the lowering sun. “I fell asleep?” she said, tired.

“Just for a while,” I said, and she turned her face to me. “Shall we go back?” Truth was, I could have stayed that way with her forever. Safe in my arms. Safe from harm.

Savannah smiled and nodded.

We returned to the hotel. Night fell and I went to bed. Just as I was about to sleep, my phone lit up with a message.

DAD:

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