Page 28 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

A sense of something bigger than me danced above my head. I wasn’t one to believe in something unworldly, but I couldn’t deny the serendipitous nature of our meeting. There was something about Cael Woods that had called to me from the moment I saw him. Drew me to him like a moth to a flame.

Made me want to protect him and help carry the weight of his broken heart.

With an aching soul, I turned off my cell phone, already feeling guilty about encroaching on his life this way. I shouldn’t have done it. But I couldn’t shed the image of his carefree smile from his face. Couldn’t stop thinkingof Cillian with his arm around Cael, smiling at his younger brother like the proudest sibling in the world. I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to him to believe that death was his only way out of whatever plagued him. I wondered if Cael even knew.

I brought the phone to my chest, like I could embrace young Cael through the screen. Hold him before his world was blown apart. My head was a tornado of thoughts, haphazardly lapping around one another. Poppy’s face came to my mind. Right now, I would have talked to her. She would have known what to say.

Then I felt my hands itch with the need to tell her somehow. I placed my phone on the table beside me and picked up the journal we had been given by Mia and Leo. Opening the page, I did just that—I let myself confide in my big sister like I always had …

My Dearest Poppy,I began, and for once I didn’t fight back the grief that I had been holding off for way too long.I read your first entry today.I blinked away tears but held strong.I miss you so much. Hearing from you after so long was like visiting heaven itself, only to be told I had been there too long, and it was time to go home.I thought of my day. Then thought of Cael and me on the jetty.I’m not doing well, Pops. I’ve been sent on a trip to help me cope with your loss. I didn’t think it would help.I brought the bottom of the pen to my lips while I thought of what to say next, then began writing again.But I have met a boy. His name is Cael …

And I wrote to my sister. Wrote to her like no time had passed. Like she was simply in another place in the world, remote and unable to answer my calls. Alive and well and waiting for my letters to reach her.

And when I put down the pen, there was a new ease to my breathing. The weight I constantly carried on my sternum was a fraction lighter. Placing my head on the pillow, I closed my eyes and tried to chase sleep. But then Cael’s face came into my head and my heart squeezed again as I replayed his confession. Cillian. His brother was named Cillian Woods. I wanted to make sure I never forgot it. He deserved to be remembered.

I thought about Cael’s cracked voice, the kiss to my hair, his cheek against my head. And I ran my fingers over the hand that he had held so tightly while shedding his deepest trauma.

It still felt warm.

Shared Secrets and Farewell Skies

Cael

STEPHAN:

Your mom said you’re away. Just checking in. Miss you, man.

ISTARED ATSTEPHAN’S MESSAGE, THEN LEFT IT ON READ AND MUTED MYcell. His unanswered messages were now in their hundreds, and I had ignored every one of them. The truth was, I couldn’t face my best friend. I couldn’t face my parents. They’d texted me constantly since being here, and I had ignored every single one. Their calls too. I left it to Mia and Leo to tell them I was safe.

I couldn’t face anyone from home. Especially now. I was split open from yesterday with Savannah. I couldn’t stop thinking about finding her out on the ledge, sobbing and falling apart. How she’d been shaking with fury, the same destructive emotion that lived in my veins. How she’d screamed at me, her pretty face contorted with pain. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the jetty. Her vulnerability, her honesty. How when I held her hand, it felt easier to breathe. Why? What had it meant? Being beside her, holding her … it had given me a moment of peace I never got. And it only grew deeper with what she’d told me.

WhatI’dtold her.

Cillian.

I hadn’t even meant to. It just …torefrom me, like the confession was clawing to get out and just be heard bysomebodyelse.

I’d told somebody about Cill. I’d toldSavannahabout Cill … I didn’t know how to feel about it. I felt different this morning. I was completely shaken. The darkness was still there, lying low in my veins, but …shit, I’d told someone about Cillian. And the bitterness within me wasn’t quite so strong. It wasn’t consuming my every waking minute. I’d forgotten what this even felt like.

What was happening?

“You ready?” Travis said as I packed the last of my clothes in my case, lost to my thoughts. Today was our last climb. Tomorrow, we left for Norway. Unaware of how rattled and confused I was, Travis waited for me in the doorway as I grabbed my coat and hiking boots. He was always trying to reach out his hand for friendship. I’d shunned him at every point.

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