Page 27 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

Cael … No wonder he was so lost and alone.

I brought our joined hands to my lips and kissed the back of his hand. Kissed the opaque broken-heart tattoo that was etched into his skin in thickblack ink. He couldn’t finish what he was trying to say. Couldn’t bring himself to say those words aloud.

“I’m sorry,” I said in return, my words not capturing the level of sympathy I felt for him. Expelling any shyness into the open air, I inched closer to Cael and placed my head on his broad shoulder. His body was taut and tense as I did so. But then he exhaled a long, labored breath and laid his head against mine.

We sat, joined, watching in silence as the sunlight glittered off the lake. I had never had this. Had someone share in my pain and be so open about theirs with me. But my stomach fell when I thought of what he’d told me. His older brother had taken his life. That’s why Cael was so angry. So broken inside. That’s why—

“She loved you,” Cael said, interrupting my racing mind. His minty breath dusted over my cheek. He moved his head a fraction, and his lips ghosted over my hair. I closed my eyes and let the feel of his intimate comfort embrace me. “She loved you so much.”

“She did,” I whispered, not wanting to pierce the fragile bubble of peace we had created. I opened my eyes and watched a bird of prey circle above one of the lake’s many small islands. “I miss her more than I can say.”

“I miss him too,” Cael finally said, and I felt just how much that was by the way he melted into my side, like he was seeking any form of human contact, a safety net from a great fall that admission had caused. I wondered how long he had been walking alone, shunning any support from the world. I moved closer to him again, so close there wasn’t even an inch of air between us.

Two broken pieces searching for a way to feel whole.

“She left you an entire notebook,” Cael said. He paused, then quietly confided, “I was left seven rushed words on an old, discarded hockey game ticket.”

My soul shattered for him. Poppy’s passing had destroyed me. But I had answers as to why she had died. I was under no doubt that she adored me; she’d made sure to tell me often enough. I had gotten to say my goodbye, even if that goodbye had ultimately been my undoing.

Cael … He had been robbed of that vital moment.

I heard his breathing starting to hitch, and I was sure I felt a tear fall from his cheek and hit the side of my face. But I didn’t want to disturb this moment. I knew it was poignant to him.

It was for me too.

Sitting in silence, we watched the winter sun begin to ebb and darkness cloak the top of the peaks, chasing down the hills and spreading out onto the lake before us. Stars tried to peek through the overcast sky, and the moon hid its glow behind thick unrelenting clouds.

I shivered, the lowering sun taking away any heat from the winter’s day and plunging the night into bitter coldness. Cael must have noticed, because he turned his head, lips grazing my ear and said, “We’d better get inside.”

I nodded but didn’t move for a few moments, not wanting to break from this pleasant numbness we had slipped into. But when a gust of arctic wind found its way into the jetty, we had no choice.

Straightening, I reluctantly released Cael’s hand and got to my feet. Cael followed suit, picked up Poppy’s notebook then handed it back to me. I met his eyes then. The first time since we had sat down and spilled our mutual heartaches.

There was something new in his stare. Like he was seeing me differently. I certainly was him. Gone was the unapproachable boy from just outside of Boston. And in his place was Cael Woods, a broken boy who was mourning the tragic death of his big brother. Despite how different we were on the surface, underneath it all, we were kindred souls.

Cael slipped his hand through mine again, and the chill that had taken us under siege was fought back by a striking sword of warmth. Cael led the way from the jetty and toward the hostel. The frosty ground crisped underfoot. I looked up to the sky and the dark clouds that impeded the view of the stars.

I walked as lonely as a cloud… Wordsworth’s poem came to my head. As we entered the hostel and separated reluctantly at the top of stairs to go to our respective rooms, I realized that maybe I wasn’t as lonely as I believed I was.

And neither was he.

I couldn’t help but recall how he’d been when I’d shouted at him. Myfury … it hadn’t offended him—it had called to him. In that moment, I’d been a living reflection of how he felt inside. I’d burned with grief like he’d burned.

He’d seen me, and in depths of my despair, I had understood him too. And he had calmed. He’d confided in me.

Cael … He was suffering so badly …

After I showered, I climbed into bed. Curiosity won out; I took hold of my cell phone and searched the internet for Cael’s name. Hundreds and hundreds of hits appeared. The first picture shown was from a couple of years ago, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was dressed in hockey gear. But he was free of tattoos, free of piercings … free of grief. His wide, infectious smile was breathtaking. But what made my chest tighten to the point of snapping was the person beside him, the one with his arm wrapped proudly around him.

Cillian.

I ran my finger over Cael’s boyish, carefree face. Then I froze when I read the caption.The Future of Hockey. Harvard’s star center, Cillian Woods, with younger brother Cael.

Harvard.

The next story made my heart fall further.Cael Woods heading for Harvard! The Woods Brothers go Crimson!

The article explained that Cillian had gone to Harvard. Cael had signed on to go too. Cael was a year older than me.Harvard …That was why he’d brought us in from the lake that day. I’d told him I was going too … but he’d clearlynotgone. It didn’t take a genius to understand why.

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