Page 72 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

Her head was tipped back as she basked in the setting sun, something she always did. Without her noticing, I crept closer to where she stood. Playing hockey again had brought a lightness to my chest. Remembering Cillian in a good way had chased some of the darkness from my soul.

I was mere inches from Savannah. She looked down just as I wrapped my arms around her waist and dragged her into the deeper water. I held on tight as we crashed under the surface. Then, I lifted her out of the waves, keeping tight hold of my girl.

“Cael!” she shouted, gripping my neck. She took a deep breath and wiped water from her face. I couldn’t help it, but I laughed. I laughed from the very depths of my heart. Savannah laughed too, stopping only to place her hand on my cheek, a wide smile remaining on her face. And those goddamn dimples popped …

“I love it when you laugh,” she said as we waded in the warm water. “And I adored watching you play today.” She pushed my hair from my face. Ran her finger over my nose ring and lip ring. “You’re amazing, Cael.” She sobered, then said, “I hope I get to see you play on ice someday.”

My laughter fell, but I wasn’t upset or angry. I just didn’t know how to respond. “Did I push too far?” she said, worry infusing her sweet accent, making it stronger. I could listen to her talk all day.

“You didn’t,” I said and kissed a falling drop of water off the side of her neck. Savannah blushed again, her freckles appearing in their thousands from being under so much sun. She ran her hands through my hair again. Her touch always made me feel better.

“I think … I think I might want to,” I said. I huffed a humorless laugh. “But I don’t know if it’s too late. I just walked away from my junior team and I didn’t even contact Harvard. I just refused to go.” I met her blue eyes. They matched the color of the sea. “My parents explained it to the coach, of course. But—” I sighed. “I was unprofessional.”

“You were—are—grieving. Anyone who doesn’t understand that is not worth your time. Harvard hockey would be lucky to have you on the team next year. You’re incredible.”

I smirked at the fierceness in her voice. Then I sighed again. “I’m still working on the hockey thing. I need a little more time.”

“Okay,” she said simply, and I kissed her. I couldn’t help it with how beautiful she looked right now. When I pulled back, she asked, “What was your jersey number?”

“Eighty-seven,” I said. I ran my hand up and down her back. “Cillian was number thirty-three.”

She smiled, probably because I’d given her another detail about my brother. I kissed her again and said, “You were great with the kids today.”

Savannah sighed. “You think?”

“Iknow,” I said, then asked, “Are you worried about this leg of the trip?”

“Yes,” she said honestly. The sunset glittered on the water around us, reflecting in her eyes and wet hair. It made her look like an angel. “I know whatever they have planned for us is going to hurt. Badly, I imagine.”

A pang of apprehension pulled in my stomach. She was right. We knew these coming weeks would be tough. But we’d gotten this far. And I wanted to keep going. I pulled Savannah tighter in my arms. “For now, we can just enjoy being here.”

Savannah pressed her forehead to mine. “I’ll enjoy being wherever you are.”

That sentiment was shared.

Harrowing Stories and Doused Anger

Cael

The Retreat, The Philippines

A few weeks later

MY FEET STOPPED DEAD ASLEO LED US TO A CLOSED DOOR.MY BLOOD RANcold when I saw the sign. We’d had days leading up to this point. One-on-one sessions. Group sessions. You name it, we had done it. It had been brutal and intense. I was already wrought and tired and at my emotional limit.

But today was where I had to face what had happened with Cillian. Today was when I faced head-on what Cillian had done.

I wasn’t too proud to say that I was absolutely terrified.

Leo’s hand landed on my back. “I wouldn’t bring you here if I didn’t think you could do it,” he said. He pressed a hand to his chest. “I went through the same thing. And although it hurts, badly, itdoeshelp.”

I trusted Leo. The longer I had spent time with him and Mia, the more I had faith in them. And Leo had walked the same path I had. This was his life’s work. I had to put my trust in him if I wanted to get better.

The time we’d spent rebuilding houses was poignant. I had agreed to stay in touch with Jacob by email and letters. But doing something physical, like building houses and shelters, had been rewarding. It was the emotional side I struggled with most.

Savannah went on her exposure experience in a couple of days. She had been spending time with doctors at the retreat. Learning all about how they treated people, especially those with cancer. I could tell she had been lapping it up, absorbing it all like the perfect student she was. But I saw how much it pained her too. The strain it was taking on her grief for Poppy. In a few days’ time, she went to a children’s cancer ward in a hospital. True exposure. I was so worried for her. She had made such strides. I was worried it would put her back.

I worried about that for me too.

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