Page 44 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

“Yeah?” I questioned, voice thick.

She nodded. I pulled her to me, burying my face in her long hair. The boat swayed, and I tried to push the thought of hockey aside, but I just couldn’t stop imagining Savannah watching me play. Her, in the stands, cheering me on. For months, I’d wanted to rid my mind of anything that could have reminded me of the past. But a spark had just been placed back in my soul. It wasn’t much. It wasn’t a plan to pick up my skates or to even entertain that I could somehow be the Cael from before. But there was a tiny spark that had ignited …

And I chose not to fight it.

Colored Skies and Frozen Kisses

Savannah,

You often ask me about my faith. How I just know in my soul that there is something bigger than us. Bigger than this world. And that there is a place that is filled with love and peace beyond this life. I am at peace with passing away. Because I will awake in heaven and be free from pain.

I know your heart lies with the stars. With space and science and the unexplained wonders that keep you mesmerized. Although we see things differently, they are both just as special and as meaningful. Please don’t ever lose this. Don’t lose yourself to grief and bitterness.

I challenge you to find magic within the world. Find wonder and hope and the beauty we have been awarded on this Earth. Lean into the everyday joys and cherish each moment with an open and pure heart. It will help pull you through the hard times.

Smile at the stars,

Poppy

Savannah

“Baby!” Mama greeted as the call connected.

“Hi, Mama,” I said and instantly felt the comfort of home wrap around me. “How are y’all?”

“We’re good, baby girl,” she said. “Your daddy’s here too. I’ll put you on loudspeaker.” She did, and Daddy’s voice immediately rang through.

“Hi sweetheart.”

“Hi Daddy! Guess what we’re about to see?” I said, staring out of the reception window as we waited for the bus to arrive. The night sky and I were filled with heady anticipation.

“What?” he replied.

“The northern lights.”

“Savannah …” Mama murmured, soft and gentle. “You’ve always dreamed of seeing them. How special for you that that dream is coming true,” she said, and I smiled.

“I can’t believe it,” I said, unsure how to express the level of excitement bursting within me. Then I saw the headlights of the bus approach the hotel. “The bus is coming to take us to a viewing point, but I just wanted to check in with you both and to let you know I’m okay.”

“Thank you, baby. You sound so strong.” My heart fluttered at that. “And we miss you so much,” Mama said and melted me. “Oh, try to call your sister soon. You know she can’t go a day without hearing from you, and she’ll be spittin’ mad that she missed your call again.” My heart bloomed at that. It was true. I had texted Ida nonstop since being here. I called my parents most days too, but catching Ida between our activities, her school, and her cheer practices to talk on the phone was a little tricky.

“I will,” I said. I glanced at the others in the lobby. Cael held out his hand, signaling to me that it was time to go. “I’ll speak to y’all tomorrow. Love y’all!”

“Love you too!” they shouted back in unison, and I hung up, feeling lighter. As I walked up to Cael, he wrapped his arm over my shouldersand pulled me to his side. We were caring less and less if the others saw us this way.

I’d also noticed that Cael never called home. Leo had told him this morning he’d spoken to his parents again to let them know he was okay. That seemed to be the case most days. Cael acknowledged Leo with a tight jerk of his chin. I hadn’t broached the subject of his parents with him. He was making such good progress, but it was clear he was still in the emotional trenches, and I didn’t want to pry too hard as to why. He was less angry. He was joking and smiling more these days. That was incredible to witness. I feared pushing him too hard about his parents would only see him retreat. And like Mia and Leo had said, I needed to let him explore his journey through grief himself. Even though I just wanted to make him better.

We climbed into the bus. Chills raced up and down my spine with excitement. This was a bucket list item for me. Poppy came to my mind as I thought that, but rather than letting the image disable me, I pictured how excited her face was and how pleased for me she would be. We’d often dreamed of seeing this together—her, me, and Ida. Rune’s text came to mind like a warm blanket being cast around me.

She’s with you …

I wanted to believe it.

Although the Aurora Borealis could be seen from Tromsø, to get the full effect we were taking a bus out of the city, away from its lights and to a place of solitude where we could see the most activity.

Cael smiled at me when I glanced out of the window, the city fading to the background and the heavily packed snow around us our only view. He placed a hand on my knee. Butterflies filled my chest, then swooped down to my stomach. It was a sensation I was becoming more than familiar with. Every day, when Cael was close, they awoke.

I let myself take a glance at his lips. Lips that had so very nearly kissed mine. I could still feel the heat of his warm, minty breath on my cold skin. Still feel how soft his lips were as they lightly brushed against mine.

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