Page 29 of Claimed By Shadows

“I understand,” I utter, licking my dry lips. “But it’s not the baby’s fault that it’s father…” I trail off, unable to say the words aloud yet. One of those challenges, I suppose. As will seeing the baby’s face every day. Will it only remind me of Sergi?

It might look like Nik…

Tears fill my eyes thinking about having Nik’s baby, not his father’s. There’d be no question about keeping it. I love Nik, I always have, and I suspect I always will. His baby would be cherished, loved, and untainted by terrible memories, but maybe this baby could be too? I’ve always wanted a family, a large one, which is something Hunter made me face when he took controlthat time and removed my coil. I’m also a believer that children shouldn’t carry the sins of their fathers, or either parent. Nik is not responsible for his father’s actions, just like I’m not for mine. Just like this baby isn’t.

“As I said, Iris, there is time. It’s a complex situation and there is no rush to decide either way, not until around twenty-four weeks,” Julia informs me, her voice still soothing.

“Okay,” I reply, my hand giving a stroke over the life growing inside me before I rest it on my thigh. “Was there anything else?”

“No. You have art this morning, followed by yoga, and then our one-on-one session,” Julia says, placing the folder back on the table. “But I’m here if you want to talk through anything, okay?”

“Okay, thank you,” I say, getting to my feet, my legs feeling a little like jelly. She gets up too, taking a step towards the door, but my hand darts out, lightly grasping her arm. She turns back to me, her face open and patient. “Can, I mean, you won’t tell anyone else of this, will you? I’d like to tell them when I’m ready.”

Her face softens, her hand coming over mine to squeeze gently. “Of course, it’s medical and thus confidential. You are in control here, Iris. You call all the shots.”

My tight chest loosens ever so slightly as I give her a nod, releasing my grip and following her to the door.

“Thank you,” I tell her just as she opens it, Rufus standing to attention outside. His gaze traces over my face, his brows dipping at what he sees. I imagine I look as shocked as I feel, as conflicted about the decision I need to make.

“Of course. Anytime, Iris. I mean it. I’m here anytime you need to chat. See you later,” she replies, allowing me to leave her office and then gently shutting the door behind me.

“Everything okay, Iris?” Rufus enquires, and I blink as I look at him, frozen for a second.

I’m pregnant with my rapist’s baby, the father of one of the men that I’m in love with but can’t bear his or anyone else’s touch anymore without limitations.

“Everything’s fine, thank you,” I say instead, only a slight tremor in my voice hinting at the lie I just told. I’m not fine, far fucking from it.

But worrying solves nothing, and it won’t help me make this seemingly impossible decision. So I do what Julia suggested and allow myself time to think. It’s what I’m here for after all.

NIKOLAI

It’s been a couple of weeks since Sergi lost Iris in that poker game and he’s still not so silently fuming. He knows he can’t make a move directly to take her back. Lucifer made that clear when he came back into the room and Iris and the Shadows were gone. It took a great deal of strength not to fall to my knees and sob when he gave me a subtle nod, telling me they had her and she was safe.

Fuck, the relief that flooded my veins was unlike any I’ve ever experienced, and I owe the Fallen a debt that I doubt I’ll ever be able to repay. I would wonder how they knew, but they seem to know everything, so it’s no surprise really. I’m just grateful they took our side and got Iris away from my father. That I couldn’t is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I’m sitting in my father’s office while he issues orders to his men in Russian. He’s hitting the Shadows in other ways, trying to fuck up their business deals and having the police keep a very close eye on them, but I can see by the almost constant eye twitch of his it’s not enough. There’s a weight on my chest thattells me he’s looking for another way to hurt them and still hasn’t given up on getting Iris back.

I can’t understand it, his obsession with her. I knew there must have been something or some reason why he was so fixated on having her. More than just a debt to be paid, an object to be owned, and when she told me about him calling her by another woman’s name, I tried everything to find out who Anushka might be but came up with fuck all. She’s a mystery, and I’ve a feeling only my father knows who exactly she is and what she means to him.

My face cracks to the side, pain slicing up the side of my cheek and jaw.

“Nikolai!” he hisses, and my attention snaps back into the room, realising too late that he’d been talking to me and I’d zoned out.Stupid fucking idiot, taking your eyes off the apex predator in the room.“Did you hear my orders, you useless fucking waste of space?”

I grit my aching jaw, my nostrils flaring as I imagine, just for a second, taking the gun at my hip and blowing his fucking brains out. It would be too quick of a death and would sign my death warrant, but there would be satisfaction in ending him once and for all.

“I’m sorry, Father,” I grit out, straightening in my chair, Andrei and Dima shifting behind me.

He bares his teeth at me in a snarl that is reminiscent of a rabid dog.Fucking disgusting. “You’re to lead the team to blow up that little club of theirs. You and your men will set the bomb and make sure the whole of fucking London feels it. Next Saturday should work. Make sure you’re ready. Understood?”

I take in a deep inhale through my nostrils. He has no fucking care for any innocents that might get hurt. Saturday must be one of the busiest nights for Depravity, the Shadows’ club inShoreditch. Plus that only gives me seven days to put everything in place.

I don’t know why his actions surprises me anymore. I know what type of monster he is. Yet a part of me still can’t believe the things he will do just because he can.

“Yes, sir,” I reply, taking his nod as a dismissal. I get up, turning and heading to the door, Dima in front and Andrei behind me. They’ve taken to trying to protect me from him, keep me safe from my own fucking father. I’d laugh if I hadn’t been living the reality for my whole life.

“Nikolai,” Sergi barks, my name a command to pay fucking attention. I pause, twisting to face him once more, Andrei shifting to the side, though not all the way, so he is still somewhat in front of me. “Don’t fuck this up. You won’t like my punishment if you do.”

His eyes drift to my men and I get his meaning loud and fucking clear. They will be the ones to suffer if I mess this up. I grit my teeth until pain shoots up the sides of my face. He knows they are a weakness of mine, that he can control me by threatening them.Fuck.

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