Page 8 of Kissed By Shadows

“:( (SAD FACE)” BY BAHARI

NIKOLAI

I hold her in my arms for hours, the room getting darker and the house quieting as she sleeps.

She is so peaceful, even after the shock of discovering her father’s betrayal and after giving me the precious gift of her virginity, even if she had little choice. I fucking loathe that my father forced it, hate that he even had a hand in it. It should have been something just between Iris and I.

What kind of man does it make me that I’m glad I was the first inside her tight pussy though? That I want to strut around like a peacock who has had his mate for the first time, shouting from the rooftops that it was me who had her first? That I wish I could be the only man to ever be inside her?

A deep sigh leaves my chest and I pull her closer when she stirs, huffing in her sleep. I really don’t deserve her, the words I whispered as she drifted off some of the truest I’ve ever spoken. I’m a bad man, have done terrible things, and she’s as pure as the snow that falls in the old country.

If she stays with me, she’ll end up like the muddy slush that lines the streets in St. Petersburg. I can’t let that happen, even if the thought of letting her go tears at my soul.

Moving my arm, I look at my watch. Midnight. The Shadow’s party should still be in full swing, which is good as she’ll need to get Hunter, their leader, to extend his protection if this is going to work. And by the lack of sound, my father and his men are either asleep or occupied elsewhere. He did say that he had other business to attend to and I was to keep an eye on Iris until he returns. I can’t let him get his hands on here,sukaknows what he’ll do if he ever does, but if I’m a bad man then my father is the fucking devil himself.

When my father told me earlier this morning that we’d be paying Iris’s father a visit to cash in the substantial debt he owed, my blood ran cold. I’d had no idea things had gotten to that point with Iris’s dad, and knowing my father the way I do, there was an ulterior motive that I was also fucking clueless about. But somehow, Iris was part of it and would be affected by this, and that filled me with anxiety like angry wasps buzzing inside me. It was almost a relief when my father gave Mr Montgomery the choice of his death as repayment or to live if he handed Iris over. I’ve never felt sheer terror like I did in that moment, when Iris’s dad hesitated, not even when I was sent to Russia to spend some time in the prisons and learn the ways of the Bratva, taking my first life.

So I had come up with a plan to keep her safe, to keep her away from Seergi. The first step was taking her virginity, making her mine so that he didn’t. I shudder to think of the anger on his face when I won that fight, a part of me knowing that he wanted her for himself, which is why she can’t stay because I won’t be able to protect her from my father if he decides to send me away again, or outright stakes a claim on her. And I still have no fucking idea why or when his interest in her started.

The plan was always to take over for him, it’s what he’s been grooming me all these years for after all. It’s just he never knew that I would take his empire by force. My plan is to takeeverything he’s worked for and make it mine, but also clean it up a bit so it’s not the nightmare that it currently is. My father does some heinous things, things that I would never do. Trafficking women and children among them is a line I refuse to cross. We may be criminals, monsters, but we are not those kinds of monsters. We should have honour and integrity. Sergi Petrov has forgotten that, consumed by greed and the need to dominate and own every living thing he comes across. To conquer all those he feels are beneath him.

So for the past few years, I’ve been moving towards my takeover plan, gathering allies, putting things into place so that one day I would rule his empire and right all the wrongs he so carelessly forced into this world.

But then he had to bring in Iris, the one person in my life who was untouched by his cruelty, by his poison. A part of me wonders if it’s because he knows that she’s my one weakness. That he knows she’s the only light in my dark world, that I fantasised about a life where she was by my side, tempering my darkness with her light.

For that reason, I must let her go. He can never know for sure what she means to me, never get his hands on her, and I will have to expedite my takeover plans in order to keep her safe. For now, the next step is to take her to the Shadowmen, a crew I know to have honour and who I know will protect her given her connection with them.

Although she’s not told me firsthand, I know from the tabs I’ve been keeping on her that she helped Willow Anderson, the leader of the Shadowmen’s sister, when something happened at a party just after Christmas. I don’t know what went down, but I do know that Iris let Willow stay with her, then secured her a place at Highgate Preparatory Academy in Colorado, paying for her fees and giving her a fresh start that Hunter, Willow’s brother, would have never been able to. He is in her debt, andI know that he, too, has been keeping an eye on Iris, a fact that leaves my jaw grinding because it smacks of an obsession that I feel within myself. But all the more reason as to why he’d keep her safe.

Plus, the Shadowmen are a formidable enough gang that my father won’t want to mess with them lightly, especially given Hunter’s seconds, the Kent twins, have connections to the Irish mob families. It’s the only way I can get her away from Sergi and have protection on her.

Shit, this is a clusterfuck and enough to send me into an early grave. Sighing, I prepare to wake her up and deliver the next blow.

“Solnishko,” I whisper, giving her a small shake and placing my lips on her forehead in a light kiss. “Wake up.”

“What is it, Nikolai?” she questions, her voice husky from sleep, and my dick stirs.

No time for that now, I need to get her to that party. The Shadows might be the only ones right now who can protect her, watch her, and I have so little time to get her away. This is the best solution I could come up with on such short notice.

My chest tightens as a wave of frustration washes over me. I wish I could get her out of London, out of the fucking country and away from him, but then she’d be all alone and he’d find her. His reach is just too great. My reach is good, but not quite at his level yet. Not until I take him down, which I’m not ready to do. I just need time to clean house, to put all the pieces into place, then I can protect her myself.

“You need to get dressed,Dorogoi.” My voice is firm, and I get out of bed, leaving behind the only warmth in my cold life as I pick up my clothes from the floor and start to put them on.

She sits up, looking adorably confused in the light of the moon that filters in through the window, and my heart fuckingstills inside my chest, the organ I thought was dead beating only for her.

“What’s going on, Nik?” she asks, her voice too loud, all the huskiness from her recent slumber gone, replaced with panic, and I shush her.

“We need to be quiet and quick. You need to leave, but it has to be now.” Reaching down, I throw her clothes onto the bed, then walk over to her large walk-in wardrobe and grab the bag I’d packed for her earlier. It’s only got a few things inside, but I know the Shadows are wealthy enough to cover her costs until I can find a way to get her money to her.

“Where the fuck am I going?” Anger laces her tone, and I watch as she pulls her lacy underwear on with jerky movements, her glare hard enough to scald me. I remember that look from when we were younger, from the time I dared to laugh when she first made me pretend that her dolls and teddies were real. I learned not to laugh again afterwards, instead, marvelling at the world she created. It’s a good thing if she’s angry at me right now. It’s better that she hates me and isn’t too heartbroken over what happened between us. It’ll keep her safer if she just leaves without trying to get back to me.

“I’ll tell you once we’ve left,” I whisper, drinking every curve and line of her perfect body. “Come.”

“I’m not going any-fucking-where until you tell me what’s going on, Nikolai Petrov.” I have to tamper down my smile at her harsh tone, she always was a firecracker. She’s standing there, in her underwear, looking like a fucking Duchess, hands on her hips and her chin jutted out.

“I am not a good man,Solnishko,” I murmur, stalking towards her. I reach past her, grabbing her dress off the bed and hating myself for the hiss of breath that escapes her when I thrust it into her chest. “But my father is worse. He’s evil and he will do whatever he likes with you.”

Her eyes bulge slightly, her body trembling as she takes in my words. “B–but I’m yours, you said I belonged to you. I thought I would be safe with you.” Her voice is quiet, thank fuck. I made sure not to bring my phone up here, leaving it in my coat downstairs, because you never know who is tracking you or listening in, but someone could overhear if they were listening at the door.

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