Page 33 of Kissed By Shadows

Then stealing my shoulders, I turn, my own eyes stinging as I leave my soul behind.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“TRAIN WRECK” BY JAMES ARTHUR

IRIS

When Nikolai leaves, it’s like all the wind has been taken out of my sails as I slump into Roman’s arms, tears silently tracking down my cheeks. How can I just let him go, knowing that his father is going to hurt him just so I can be somewhat free?

“Come on, Princess. Let’s get you inside and into bed,” Roman says gently, his strong arms practically holding me up as I rest my cheek against his firm chest.

I blink up at him, the tears on my lashes making everything sparkle like the frost outside. “He’s going to torture him, Ro. He used to do the most terrible things to him,” I whisper, bile stinging the back of my throat when I recall all of the ways Sergi made his own child suffer. There was always an undercurrent of darkness about Nikolai. I knew his father hurt him, beat him, all in a bid to mould him into the perfect soldier, the perfect,ruthless leader, but he could never stamp out the goodness that was at the heart of Nik.

“And the thing that will get him through all that is knowing that you’re safe,” Roman tells me softly, his hand brushing the tears from my face. “We all saw the way he looked at you, Princess. He’s given you to us, even though you clearly mean everything to him, because that’s how important you are to him.”

I take a sobbing inhale, knowing deep down in my soul that he’s right. Nikolai and I go a long way back. He was so often at my house that I assumed he’d always be there, the older boy who somehow enjoyed spending time with me. We were kindred spirits, both motherless, although Nikolai never spoke about his mum and never told me why she wasn’t around, and the one time I asked, he got so angry, so upset that I decided it was a subject best left alone.

The biggest difference between us, aside from the fact he was the son of a Russian crime lord and I was the daughter of an incredibly successful businessman, was my father was a person I loved dearly who not only loved me in return but showed it often. It’s what made his betrayal hurt so much, because I never would have thought he’d put me in any kind of danger. I guess I should have known that all was not as it seemed, given he had such a long-standing connection with Sergi. Obviously, some things my father was connected with weren’t all above board.

I can’t decide whether I still love my dad or if he’s now dead to me, and it bothers me. It should be a simple case of him doing something so unforgivable that I never want to speak to him again, right? Not this mixed-up churning where my mind keeps trying to reconcile the man who raised me with the man who sold me.

“Come on, Peaches, time for bed,” Hunter states, getting up and coming towards us before stopping in front of me. “Petrovwanted you to be happy as well as safe. He wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of the night crying over him.”

He’s right. They both are, and although the guilt eats away at something deep inside me, there’s nothing I can do to help the situation short of putting myself in danger and then it would have all been for nothing.

Taking Hunt’s warm hand in mine, my other reaching for Roman’s, we all file back into the flat, Rowan opening the door ahead of us.

“I’ll run you a bath, Little Lamb,” he states, brushing my damp cheek with his fingertips, his eyes tracing over my face, a deep frown marring his brows.

“Thank you,” I whisper, feeling wrung out and just so fucking tired. It’s only been a little over twenty-four hours since my life was turned upside down, and already I’m exhausted.

Rowan gives me a nod before heading to my room.

“Would you like a hot chocolate?” Hunter asks, twisting to look back at me, his hand still clasped in mine. I nibble my lower lip, the decision seeming too overwhelming right now for me to make. Stupid really, but all I can think of is Nik going back to his father and the kind of punishment he will face. Fresh tears spill down my cheeks before I can stop them, a gasping sob breaking free from my lips. “Fuck, baby. Come here.”

And then I’m in Hunter’s huge arms, his minty smell engulfing me as I cry against him, Roman letting go of my hand, allowing me to tangle my fingers into Hunt’s soft jumper. Heat behind me lets me know that Roman is caging me in between them, and it feels so right to be here, yet so wrong that Nik isn’t with us.

“What the fuck did you do to make her cry more, Hunt?” Rowan asks as he storms into the room, looking two seconds away from ripping me from Hunt’s arms. His image is waveringas more tears fall down my cheeks, but even I can see the way his face is set in a scowl, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“Fucking chill, I just offered her a hot chocolate. She’s feeling overwhelmed right now and doesn’t need you taking her away from the comfort she’s getting,” Hunt states calmly, pulling me into his body even more until there’s no space between us.

“I–it’s o–okay, Rowan,” I hiccup, trying to take some deep breaths to calm down. “I just…” I trail off, knowing that whatever I say won’t be able to articulate how I’m feeling. Worried, guilty, heartbroken. I’m terrified that my feelings for Nik will upset them.

Rowan’s shoulders rise and fall as he takes a deep inhale and then huffs it out. “Your bath is running, Little Lamb.” Then he looks at Hunt, almost daring him to keep me from the comfort he is trying to offer. If I wasn’t so upset I’d find the standoff between them funny.

“Let’s get you in the water,” Hunter says after a moment, tucking me under his arm while Roman steps away. Before he can get too far, I grasp his hand again and glance over at him.

“You’ll come too?” I ask, not even embarrassed that I want all of them with me. I just need to know that they’re here, because Nikolai isn’t and it feels like if I let the others out of my sight, something bad will happen to them too. My heart doesn’t care that I’ve only really known the twins for a day, or that I barely know Hunter any better.

“Of course, Princess. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” he replies, giving me a boyish smile that has my lips twitching in a wobbly one in return.

With Rowan leading the way, we make our way through the flat, all the lights low, and rather than the prison I saw it as earlier, it feels cosy, safe. They lead me into my room where the sound of water rushing into the tub fills the space, a fragrantscent filling the air, and I pause, my eyes wide when we enter the darkened room.

Only, it’s not fully dark as what seems like a hundred candles cover all the surfaces and even some of the floor, their flickering light soothing.

“How do you have so much game?” Roman asks incredulously as I stare around the space, my chest expanding and a warmth filling my limbs at the sweet gesture.

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper as Rowan goes over to the large tub, dipping his hand in and testing the water. Seeming satisfied, he turns the tap off, then straightening up, he stalks back towards me before stopping in front of me, Hunter and Roman still grasping my hands.

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